{"id":1231,"date":"2019-05-19T18:15:51","date_gmt":"2019-05-19T18:15:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/?p=1231"},"modified":"2021-11-16T00:38:47","modified_gmt":"2021-11-16T05:38:47","slug":"bestiary-hillside-phimf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2019\/05\/bestiary-hillside-phimf\/","title":{"rendered":"Bestiary: Hillside Phimf"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The people living in those flatlands, they don’t know true horror. They’ve never heard its sound. They’ve never had to run, run downhill to the flats and hope there ain’t just another hill to come, hearing the growls, hearing the scream, the baaaaaaah<\/strong> it roars, the sound of its four feet pounding unevenly behind you. In the hills, we know. The hills don’t have eyes. They have the phimf.<\/em><\/p>Tarnin Covalesky, woodsman<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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This blessed image is of the Hillside Phimf by Thomas Novosel.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Background<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The Hillside Phimf is a cryptid. The most elusive kind, that is, until you’re on a hillside at night. Then it’s just nearer than near, its hot breath just bristling your hair and its rage tenable, just behind you. It’s a perilous beast, and like none you’ve ever heard of. There are some who try to compare it to a sidehill gouger, but those beasts are sweet creatures in comparison to the giant Phimf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It might sound the opposite of terrifying when it’s stuck to hillsides, but you’ll only think that until you spend some days in a region where there’s more sideways than straight. The creature walks on two short legs and two long ones, gripping the hillside, and reaching out with four arms to capture anyone caught unawares on the slope. It rarely goes hungry, and only ranges where dips and valleys make their home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The screaming roar it makes seems to echo through the hillsides, but is never heard inside the thick-walled homes. The trees buffer its baahhhhing<\/em>, its cry to the wind. The Phimf is said to be half gorilla, some sort of ape, with large grasping hands and fearful teeth, and half goat, with clopping hooves that find even steep cliffs no trouble at all. Where it comes from, no one knows, but we do<\/em> know where it goes \u2013 ’round the hills, soon as dusk falls, and not stopping until its growls turn into satisfied grumbles from a good meal. If there’s no folk around to have a bite, it’s not afraid of partial cannibalism, eating everything from other goats to spare possums trying to find their way home in the night. All along it stalks the hills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Phimf has their weird goat eyes, rectangular pupils and wide, with a legendary ability to see in the dark. Bright lights shy them away, but if they’re hungry they’ll just eat the light. Goat gut’ll digest anything, so they say. They might yell while they do it, truth be told. Their bleating yells reveal squat, square teeth that crush more than shear. They batter on their chest with apelike hands that have long reach and strong grip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The way to get at them, supposedly, is a crew with strong stomachs who can round it up onto the flat. Its strengths become weaknesses then as it’ll topple to the side, struggling between its short and long legs. It’s still grabby as all get out, but it’ll eat anything you put in front of it \u2013 even if that snack happens to be sleep-inducing or worse. No one knows for sure whether it’ll work, but someone had better do something to protect these hills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hillside Phimf for D&D 5e<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Large cryptid, chaotic neutral<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Armor Class<\/strong>
16<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hit Points<\/strong>
84(8d10+ 40)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speed<\/strong>
40 ft.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All Posts<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
STR 14|+2<\/td>DEX 16|+3<\/td>CON 20|+5<\/td>INT 8|-1<\/td>WIS 10|0<\/td>CHA 7|-2<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table>\n\n\n\n

Proficiency Bonus<\/strong>
+4<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skills<\/strong>
Intimidation +8, Perception +2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Senses<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception 10<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Languages<\/strong>
None<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Challenge<\/strong>
8 (3900 XP) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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All Arms.<\/strong> The Phimf has four arms and is always counted as having reach in all directions, and cannot be flanked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Actions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Multiattack.<\/strong><\/em>The Phimf makes two attacks: one with its bite and one with its hands. It can make both attacks against the same target.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bite.<\/strong><\/em> Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 33 (4d12 + 7) bludgeoning damage. If the target is a Medium or smaller creature, it is grappled (escape DC 17). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, and the Phimf can’t bite another target.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grasping Hands. <\/strong><\/em>Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (2d6 + 4) bludgeoning damage. If the target is a Medium or smaller creature, it is grappled (escape DC 17). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, and the Phimf can’t grab another target. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disgusting Roar.<\/strong> The Hillside Phimf has eaten ungodly things and its stomach works hard to digest it. When the Phimf roars to frighten its prey, anyone caught in the 20ft. cone must make a DC 10 Constitution save or suffer nausea and dizziness for 1d4 rounds (Temporary Constitution & Dexterity Penalty of -2). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Facilitator Notes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Drives<\/h4>\n\n\n\n