{"id":213,"date":"2017-01-17T23:28:00","date_gmt":"2017-01-17T23:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2017\/01\/17\/playing-with-identity-x-posted-imaginary-funerals\/"},"modified":"2021-11-16T00:41:13","modified_gmt":"2021-11-16T05:41:13","slug":"playing-with-identity-x-posted-imaginary-funerals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2017\/01\/playing-with-identity-x-posted-imaginary-funerals\/","title":{"rendered":"Playing with Identity (x-posted Imaginary Funerals)"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post has been crossposted from the Imaginary Funerals blog that has since been discontinued. Posts are hosted on the Imaginary Funerals G+ page<\/a>.<\/i><\/span><\/span>

<\/span>There will soon be a follow-up post to this, so keep an eye out!<\/i><\/span>

<\/span>
<\/span>PLAYING WITH IDENTITY (link to main host)<\/a><\/span><\/b>

<\/b>by <\/i>+<\/span>Brie Sheldon<\/a><\/span><\/i> (originally posted 8, 2014)<\/i>

So like, there\u2019s this thing about growing up in small rural towns that are filled with blue collar workers and legacy families and all that jazz. It\u2019s insular and you don\u2019t always learn about stuff outside of your own little reality. You end up getting taught some pretty weird stuff.<\/span>

Like racism.<\/span>

Sexism.<\/span>

Bigotry.<\/span>

These are the kind of things that you learn, often without the intent of your parents (at least in my generation). Sometimes it\u2019s the influence of other relatives. Sometimes it\u2019s just the fucking culture.<\/span>

Where I grew up, there were white people for days but not so many people of color hidden in there. Those that were around were probably not treated much better than they were talked about, which wasn\u2019t so good.<\/span>

Being different was a mark. One of my fellow 4-Hers and a friend of the family was a lesbian, and my only real exposure to homosexuality except TV and the internet (which I later discovered had LOTS of information on homosexuality, and everything else). She was treated like an oddity \u2013 something to be observed and commented on. Some people treated her like a human being, but enough didn\u2019t, including me for a while.<\/span>

Where I grew up, gender roles were pretty fixed and solid. Playing with what gender feels like is something I started doing shortly after I started gaming. I would play men, or androgynous characters (before I even knew what androgyny really was). I played them more than I played women (although I\u2019d later learn that some of that was due to some internalized misogyny). It wasn\u2019t until I started writing for Gaming as Women and met some awesome trans folks that I had the shocking realization that maybe I wasn\u2019t stuck being a girl in the strict sense of the word.<\/span>

I have no desire to transition. I\u2019m as fine with my body as a woman with low self esteem in this age can be. But, I don\u2019t always feel like a girl (or woman, as I finally allow myself to be called sometimes), and it took some heartfelt talks and some experimenting with characters in-game to realize that it was okay. I can\u2019t help but feel that maybe someone else might have had the same kind of experience, and I want to say \u201chey, isn\u2019t it cool to find out that feeling like something other than what you thought you had to be is okay?\u201d<\/span>

And sexuality, whoa, buddy.<\/span>

I realized I liked girls when I was in my early teens. Maybe 12? 13? I remember the very night it happened. I also remember that shortly after that night, rumors spread that I was a lesbian, and shut down any of my hopes that I might be accepted like I thought my 4-Her friend was. I was confused further by still liking boys, just the same as I liked girls.<\/span>

I explored some of the feelings I was having in Harry Potter fandom text-based roleplay. The characters I played had fluid sexuality for the most part, and while I had to keep it totally secret from everyone I knew, that roleplay experience was a safe space for me to explore who I was and what sex was to me.<\/span>

I was still really ashamed of my sexuality, and I\u2019m only just coming through that period, but one big thing that helped was the community of acceptance I found surrounding certain parts of gaming. There are people who are openly kinky or poly or gay or all three, and hell no, you do not find that often in rural Pennsylvania.<\/span>

I played some Monsterhearts, which was actually kind of a huge deal for me. I had ruled out sex and relationships in RPGs because it made me uncomfortable, but a few sessions of Monsterhearts and I was looking at things differently.<\/span>

Most recently, I\u2019ve been getting schooled by some pretty brilliant people on race. I have learned that there is no real difference in ability between me and people of different races. I have learned that other modern cultures than mine not only exist, but are rich and complex. I learned that class and race intersect (and that your race should not mean you are forced into a specific class or that you belong in a specific class), and that gender intersects with both of them. These might sound simple and like common sense, but they weren\u2019t, to me.<\/span>

What I\u2019m trying to say here is that gaming and the gaming community has opened up my perspectives and shattered my assumptions. It\u2019s allowed me to play away from type and find secrets that I kept even from myself. It\u2019s even helped me learn how to respect other people and their differences from me.<\/span>

And that\u2019s awesome.\ufeff<\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

This post is free, but Thoughty is supported by the community on patreon.com\/briecs<\/a>. Tell your friends! <\/span>

<\/span>To leave some cash in the tip jar, go to http:\/\/paypal.me\/thoughty<\/a>.<\/span>

<\/span>If you’d like to be interviewed for Thoughty, or have a project featured, email contactbriecs@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post has been crossposted from the Imaginary Funerals blog that has since been discontinued. Posts are hosted on the Imaginary Funerals G+ page.There will soon be a follow-up post to this, so keep an eye out!PLAYING WITH IDENTITY (link to main host)by +Brie Sheldon (originally posted 8, 2014)So like, there\u2019s this thing about growing up … Continue reading “Playing with Identity (x-posted Imaginary Funerals)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[390],"tags":[28,21,6,46,8,15,12,42,18,94],"class_list":["post-213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archive","tag-briecs-on-design","tag-gender","tag-personal-decisions","tag-queer","tag-roleplaying-games","tag-rpg","tag-rpgs","tag-tabletop","tag-tabletop-rpgs","tag-text-rp"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paHOcG-3r","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":212,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2017\/01\/of-three-minds-x-posted-imaginary-funerals\/","url_meta":{"origin":213,"position":0},"title":"Of Three Minds (x-posted Imaginary Funerals)","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"January 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This post has been crossposted from the Imaginary Funerals blog that has since been discontinued. Posts are hosted on the Imaginary Funerals G+ page.OF THREE MINDS (link to main host)by +Brie Sheldon\u00a0(originally posted July 7, 2014)I sit at the table and roll the dice and don\u2019t care how they land.I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":214,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2017\/01\/gaming-with-fibromyalgia-x-posted-imaginary-funerals\/","url_meta":{"origin":213,"position":1},"title":"Gaming with Fibromyalgia (x-posted Imaginary Funerals)","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"January 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This post has been crossposted from the Imaginary Funerals blog that has since been discontinued. Posts are hosted on the Imaginary Funerals G+ page.\u00a0GAMING WITH FIBROMYALGIA (link to main host)by +Brie Sheldon\u00a0(originally posted January 24, 2014)A little background:I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 12. It was a lousy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":110,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2018\/02\/death-in-rpgs-let-me-live-revised-2-17-18\/","url_meta":{"origin":213,"position":2},"title":"Death in RPGs – Let Me Live (revised 2\/17\/18)","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"February 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Hi all!I recorded this recently and had to make some updates, but now it's a new video on a new URL:\u00a0https:\/\/youtu.be\/Uluvyh64_P8This post was supported by the community on patreon.com\/briecs. Tell your friends!To leave some cash in the tip jar, go to http:\/\/paypal.me\/thoughty.If you'd like to be interviewed for Thoughty, or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":382,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2014\/07\/hangout-with-brie-and-pulse-creators\/","url_meta":{"origin":213,"position":3},"title":"Hangout with Brie and PULSE Creators","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"July 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":170,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2017\/06\/game-design-insight-on-twitter\/","url_meta":{"origin":213,"position":4},"title":"Game Design Insight on Twitter!","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"June 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been participating in a meme on Twitter about game design insight!Check it out here!Also check out Ewen Cluney's thread with links to other designer's Twitter threads!This post was supported by the community on patreon.com\/briecs. Tell your friends! To leave some cash in the tip jar, go to http:\/\/paypal.me\/thoughty.If you'd\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1435,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2019\/07\/friday-hi-day-youtube-post-live\/","url_meta":{"origin":213,"position":5},"title":"Friday Hi-Day YouTube Post Live!","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"July 12, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"https:\/\/youtu.be\/Tfn7OHqQ_HQ","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/Tfn7OHqQ_HQ\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=213"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}