{"id":475,"date":"2013-01-20T19:25:00","date_gmt":"2013-01-20T19:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2013\/01\/20\/gaming-as-women-saying-no\/"},"modified":"2021-11-16T00:42:10","modified_gmt":"2021-11-16T05:42:10","slug":"gaming-as-women-saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2013\/01\/gaming-as-women-saying-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Gaming as Women – Saying No"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I’ve decided to put up a trailing backlog of my posts. From now on, after one-two months of my posts being hosted on Gaming as Women, they will be posted here on BravoCharlieSierra. I still suggest directing any comments to the main site, and recommend visiting Gaming as Women to read the articles by other amazing authors like Filamena Young, Jessica Hammer, Elin Dast\u00e4l, Renee Knipe, and Monica Speca. <\/i><\/div>\n

<\/i><\/div>\n
This post was originally posted on Gaming as Women on September 3, 2012.<\/i><\/div>\n

<\/i><\/div>\n
<\/p>\n

Saying \u201cNo\u201d<\/a><\/span><\/span> <\/span> <\/span> <\/span> <\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/b><\/h1>\n

The game table, for me and many people I know, is a happy place. An escape. A safe place to be. Somewhere where we can leave the things behind that we want to, and embrace new identities, new experiences, and feel powerful and in control. I have always enjoyed that aspect of gaming, and whether it is video games or tabletop, feeling safe is an important thing for me.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n


<\/span><\/span>There have been past articles on<\/span> <\/span>how to address sensitive topics in your games<\/span><\/a>, as well as building trust as a game master. There is a lot to be said for a GM\u2019s responsibility to create a safe place for players, and even for players to support each other, share the space and<\/span> <\/span>make sure that everyone has time to shine<\/span><\/a>. However, there is something I think many players are not aware is in their power, and is in fact their priority, especially female players.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span>Saying \u201cno\u201d.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span>If a player is put into a situation where they are uncomfortable, or is at a risk to be triggered by something, they have every right to step away or not play a game. If they are playing a game where a GM includes content they don\u2019t approve of, they should raise their concerns to the GM. If the GM continues to use the content, for good or any other reasons,  the player can still choose not to play.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span>Not playing a game for personal reasons (aside from schedule) may be frowned upon, particularly as a woman. There are often a lot of negative attitudes or impressions that flare up when people decide not to play a game, regardless of what gender you are \u2013 but there are some accusations that really hit home. If you don\u2019t want to play a game because there is a situation that makes you uncomfortable \u2013 from past trauma, political preference, whatever \u2013 sometimes other players or even the GM might say you\u2019re being oversensitive or accuse you of grandstanding for a cause. Don\u2019t listen to them.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span>While there are occasionally instances of people being oversensitive, that doesn\u2019t matter. How you feel, how a situation makes you feel, is more important. Even if it\u2019s a matter of just not having fun in a game, there is nothing wrong with saying \u201cno\u201d to playing!<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span>It is important that GMs understand player concerns, acknowledge them, and consider them. If they decide to continue telling the story or playing out the session as planned, that\u2019s their choice. The player has the choice \u2013 and the absolute right \u2013 to walk away, and no one should blame them for that.<\/span>
If the game isn\u2019t enjoyable for the player, that ruins the point of the game environment and the game itself. That\u2019s the point of gaming \u2013 for everyone to have fun, to feel like they are a part of something, and to have their own space to play.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve decided to put up a trailing backlog of my posts. From now on, after one-two months of my posts being hosted on Gaming as Women, they will be posted here on BravoCharlieSierra. I still suggest directing any comments to the main site, and recommend visiting Gaming as Women to read the articles by other … Continue reading “Gaming as Women – Saying No”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[390],"tags":[28,17,150,15],"class_list":["post-475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archive","tag-briecs-on-design","tag-gaming","tag-gaming-as-women","tag-rpg"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paHOcG-7F","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":483,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2012\/10\/follow-my-posts-at-gaming-as-women\/","url_meta":{"origin":475,"position":0},"title":"Follow my posts at Gaming as Women","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"October 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Check out my most recent blog posts over at Gaming as Women!Paizo Publishing and Pathfinder - Half Orc OriginsSaying \"No\"Gamerati Game Day in Jamestown PATHOUGHTY LOGO \u00a9 JOHN W. SHELDON 2010. USED WITH PERMISSION. UNAUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION STRICTLY PROHIBITED. ALL CONTENT WITHIN THIS BLOG AND ANY OF THE ALTERNATE SITES LINKED\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":470,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2013\/01\/gaming-as-women-finding-my-o-with-the-x-card\/","url_meta":{"origin":475,"position":1},"title":"Gaming as Women – Finding My O with the X-Card","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"January 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I've decided to put up a trailing backlog of my posts. From now on, after one-two months of my posts being hosted on Gaming as Women, they will be posted here on BravoCharlieSierra. 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I still suggest directing any comments to the main site, and recommend visiting Gaming as Women to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":472,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2013\/01\/gaming-as-women-how-to-create-a-micro-setting\/","url_meta":{"origin":475,"position":4},"title":"Gaming as Women – How to Create a Micro-Setting","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"January 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I've decided to put up a trailing backlog of my posts. From now on, after one-two months of my posts being hosted on Gaming as Women, they will be posted here on BravoCharlieSierra. I still suggest directing any comments to the main site, and recommend visiting Gaming as Women to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Archive"","block_context":{"text":"Archive","link":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":213,"url":"https:\/\/briebeau.com\/thoughty\/2017\/01\/playing-with-identity-x-posted-imaginary-funerals\/","url_meta":{"origin":475,"position":5},"title":"Playing with Identity (x-posted Imaginary Funerals)","author":"Beau J\u00e1gr Sheldon","date":"January 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This post has been crossposted from the Imaginary Funerals blog that has since been discontinued. 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