Resurrection of Beau

Beau, a white person with blue, grey, & brown short hair wearing dark shadow around their eyes and lying on a pillow while wearing a blue plaid flannel shirt and a black vest, holding a black leather hat over their chest.

This weekend I finally had the opportunity to have the photoshoot I have dreamed of for some time, which included a couple of important logistical issues – like finding a place to dig a shallow grave, and arranging a time in near-winter where it wasn’t too cold to lie in it. 

In this photoshoot, I’m styled in cowboy inspired clothes much like I wore as a kid equestrian, but styled up a little to my modern tastes. There’s a little bit of a narrative to the photos, so I hope you enjoy it!

The photography in this shoot is by John W. Sheldon, and myself and Jennifer Hill (a.k.a. Jaydot from Shop Jaydot) are the models. The shoot was conceived by me, styled largely by me, and planned by me and John. It is extremely meaningful to me, and I am super grateful I was able to experience it. This may be highly pretentious, but it is very special!

The Resurrection of Beau

Autumn is the season where death comes, the trees and plants retreating to be renewed in spring.

Photo: Black & White. A very shallow grave littered with and surrounded by fallen autumn leaves. At the head of the grave lies a black white tailed deer skull with silver chromed antlers. 

A grave dug well leaves room for time, but a shallow one is all too easy to uncover.

Photo: Black & White. A very shallow grave littered with and surrounded by fallen autumn leaves. At the head of the grave lies a black white tailed deer skull with silver chromed antlers, and at the foot, the camera focuses on a black leather had sitting on the top of a shovel stuck into the clay and sand.

Before the blood cools, the cowboy is still, a vision of life, but unable to draw breath.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their closed eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down and a black vest with a black leather had laid on their chest.

Their eyes never closed during the sleep of night, during this day’s death they flutter open, taking in the cold, bitter light.

Photo: Black & White. A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down and a black vest with a black leather had laid on their chest.

Their own light threatens to leave them, shining from their countenance as a rival to the sun.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, and chaps with a black leather had laid on their chest. Above their head is a black deer skull with silver antlers, and light seems to beam from their face in a radiant glow.

Frozen in the ground, barely six inches under, they were left in a shallow grave and without enough care to be covered in the clay that stuck to their boots.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, and chaps with a black leather had laid on their chest. Their boots have dirt on the bottom and are the focal point, from below.

Their legacy lies dead overhead, shining but dark, and now nothing but a relic for remembrance.

Photo: Black & White. A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots with a black leather had laid on their chest. Above their head is a black deer skull with silver antlers.

Abandoned in their unfinished grave, they are still and the last sparks of memory begin to sputter, not yet extinguished.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots with a black leather had laid on their chest. Above their head is a black deer skull with silver antlers. To the top left, a shovel sticks up from the ground.

Snowflakes fall on their face, and leaves fall around them. The light could fade, but…

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest & a black leather had laid on their chest.

…it doesn’t have to. A vision appears with the bubble of laughter.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots with a black leather had laid on their chest. Above their head is a black deer skull with silver antlers. In the foreground, a white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt appears.

The cowboy’s dance may not be over just yet, and this vision who has appeared is brimming with life.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots with a black leather had laid on their chest. Above their head is a black deer skull with silver antlers. In the foreground, a white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt surveys the grave.

They reach out a hand to the cowboy, a beacon in the cold.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots with a black leather had laid on their chest. Above their head is a black deer skull with silver antlers. A white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt is reaching down to the person in the grave.

The cowboy reaches back, resisting the pull of the earth.

Photo: Black & White. A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes lies in the shallow grave on a blue velvet pillow wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots with a black leather had laid on their chest. A white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt is reaching down to the person in the grave, and the person in the grave is reaching up to grasp their forearm.

The blood may take time to quicken, but together they raise the corpse to stand.

Photo: A white person in a pink fluffy dress grasps the forearm of a white person in a blue plaid shirt over autumn ground that has been disturbed.

The vision is pleased, and emanates warmth. The cowboy, staggers and steadies, grateful.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots. A white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt is grasping their hand and smiling.

The cowboy dusts off the grave and the past, ready to breathe.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down and a black vest, dusting dirt off their shoulder.

They down a dose of hesitation as they prepare to don their hat, but the vision has more confidence.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots and about to don a leather riding hat. A white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt stands behind them, smiling kindly.

With a smile, they realize you only die once. At least, that’s what people say.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, and boots and about to don a leather riding hat. A white person with brown short hair in a pink strapless dress with a flowing skirt stands behind them, smiling kindly.

Exhumed and on their feet, they breathe in the autumn air.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, and a leather riding hat in autumn.

They tip their hat to the vision and turn their back to the shallow grave.

Photo: Black & White. A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, boots, and tipping their leather riding hat as they walk away from a shallow grave with a pillow lying in it. On top of the pillow rests a black deer skull with chromed antlers.

They walk away and don’t look back on their death, or the cold ground that held them to it.

Photo: Black & White. A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, boots, and adjusting their leather riding hat as they walk away from a shallow grave with a blue velvet pillow lying in it. On top of the pillow rests a black deer skull with chromed antlers.

Later, in a quiet corner, they hear someone say, “Can you imagine being at your own funeral? What would that be like?”

They hold back a smile.

Life after death was going to be interesting.

Photo: A white person with blue, grey, and brown short hair and dark shadows around their eyes is wearing a blue plaid button down, a black vest, jeans, chaps, boots, and tipping their leather riding hat while sitting in a yellow chair in front of red curtains. In the foreground, a silver-grey cat with green eyes and a collar with bells sits on the arm of the chair.

I hope you enjoyed this little adventure! <3

Photos © John W. Sheldon, models: Beau Jágr Sheldon & Jennifer Hill.