#33in28 Week 2 Reviews

This is the second week’s installment of #33in28, my birthday celebration reviewing 33 solo games in 28 days! Today I’m featuring Bear, Morning Phase, Operation Cat Chat, and more! Check out these awesome games through my reviews and make sure to click through on their itchio links to find out more and buy your favorites! I want to point out with this post that every single one of these games could be priced far more and still be more than worth it, so *please consider tipping if you buy!*

Hi all! This is the second week’s installment of #33in28, my birthday celebration reviewing 33 solo games in 28 days! Today I’m featuring Bear, Morning Phase, Operation Cat Chat, and more! Check out these awesome games through my reviews and make sure to click through on their itchio links to find out more and buy your favorites! I want to point out with this post that every single one of these games could be priced far more and still be more than worth it, so *please consider tipping if you buy!*

Continue reading “#33in28 Week 2 Reviews”

A New Masculinity: The Men of Wolfenstein: The New Order

I want to talk about so many things in the realm of Wolfenstein and how it portrays masculine characters, but I want to talk first about the characters themselves. We’ve addressed how Wolfenstein: The New Order talks about masculinity through the main character William “B.J.” Blazkowicz, and how it functions in genre. Now I want to address some of the other characters that are in the game and how they are presented (I may not address all your faves, sorry).

This is part of a series on masculinity and the game Wolfenstein: A New Order. The series focuses exclusively on Wolfenstein: A New Order and the characters within it, though it does reference the backstories of characters that may not be revealed until later games in that series. Much of the specific details here were sourced in the Wolfenstein Wiki.

Content warning: Nazis, hate crimes, domestic abuse (parent-child, spousal), violence, homophobia, racism, ableism, eugenics, torture, suicide, animal cruelty

SPOILERS for Wolfenstein: The New Order and elements of Wolfenstein: The New Colossus.


I want to talk about so many things in the realm of Wolfenstein and how it portrays masculine characters, but I want to talk first about the characters themselves. We’ve addressed how Wolfenstein: The New Order talks about masculinity through the main character William “B.J.” Blazkowicz, and how it functions in genre. Now I want to address some of the other characters that are in the game and how they are presented (I may not address all your faves, sorry). I also played the Wyatt timeline, one of the most vital decisions in the game, so I won’t address Fergus or his timeline much (playing thru again hasn’t been possible with my cognitive issues). I’ll likely address characters like Caroline, Frau Engel, and Anya in a separate article, because that’s a very different matter. 

Note: I may not discuss Sigrun, Frau Engel’s daughter, from The New Colossus in detail due to how her experiences are related to my own trauma, and since she is from a later game. We’ll see!

First up, we’ll address the Resistance. Note that I don’t think that these characters are without flaws, but I want to appreciate their good characteristics. 

Max Hass from Wolfenstein: The New Order, a large white man with a visible brain injury in suspenders and a thermal shirt, sitting on a bed. Image from user joumur on Steam.
Max Hass from Wolfenstein: The New Order. Image from user joumur on Steam.

I want to talk about Max Hass with a desperation. Max is a pacifist, and was born with a brain injury and abandoned as a child. I love Max for a lot of reasons, but I will note that he experiences the stereotype of many mentally disabled folks in that he is physically minimally vulnerable, very strong, and speaks simplistically – only saying his name. This portrayal is obviously from a challenging perspective and can be harmful. However, the character is well-loved, heroic, shown to be mostly capable except for his own traumatic responses, and while he is shown to be childlike, he is distinctly masculine in his presentation. 

Max is flawed in his presentation in regards to ability, though he is definitely fitting a trope. But he’s portrayed as a masculine character in a youthful way, which is something we rarely see in war games. Childlike natures are often presented as juvenile, rather than something understandable that people respect and support, like when B.J. helps recover Max’s lost toys as part of an achievement and story thread. Max Hass is an example of a character that could have been done better, but to me his inclusion was valuable – it’s okay to be disabled, to perhaps be childlike, regardless of the reasons behind those things. You can still be loved, still be a boy at heart. These are things we often strip from disabled masculine people, so it mattered to me.

Next to Max, we don’t go so far to find Klaus Kreutz, who is the one who recovered Max from behind a dumpster after losing his own disabled child to the Nazis eugenics. He was originally a Nazi soldier, and after losing his son and his wife in a tragic encounter, grew to deeply hate the Nazis and their ideology. He turned against the Nazis and became a member of the Resistance, and while he encountered initial conflict with B.J., they eventually become colleagues that respect each other. This encounter is shown in The New Order, and is important because in many instances, we frame Nazis or fascists as not real men or even men who change sides as not real men because they’re disloyal or because Real Men don’t do violence, and this is a flawed and messed up concept. In the game, they don’t portray the situation as such, instead focusing on the Nazi atrocities and whether Klaus might harbor any Nazi beliefs. 

Klaus is shown as caring, and loving towards Max. He is without a doubt portrayed as a masculine character with a past of violence, but now he instead cares for Max as if he was his own child, and doesn’t question giving his life for the resistance. He embodies heroic qualities and paternal qualities we associate with adoptive fathers. Doing this to someone who left Nazi service and showing that people can change is a vital element of the storytelling in The New Order.

Wyatt from Wolfenstein: The New Order, a white man in fatigues in a black and white closeup. Image from user Joey Stick on Steam.
Wyatt from Wolfenstein: The New Order. Image from user Joey Stick on Steam.

The flip of the coin is Probst Wyatt II, a dedicated and initially idealistic soldier who served alongside B.J. and in one timeline of the game, he is the character saved from the terrifying Deathshead, a villain who tortures the characters quite horrifically. Wyatt experiences post-traumatic stress disorder from the war and depression after the suicide of his mother. He is one of the few genuine portrayals of mental illness in a masculine character I’ve seen in AAA games where the illness is recognized and respected. Wyatt is given space to struggle through his illnesses and not forced to participate in further war, and granted space within the Resistance compound to recover and rest. 

I cannot describe how much Wyatt’s story impacted me. I am so very used to seeing symptoms of mental illness hidden in games, washed over or described as supernatural or unreal. They’re often shamed, or dismissed as unmanly or unmasculine and masculine people who struggle with mental illness are emasculated and lose their agency. They’re shamed if they take space to deal with or struggle with their trauma. How many moments ask you to “Man Up”? Doesn’t Wolfenstein itself use a frankly shitty difficulty level imagery with B.J. in baby clothes if you choose the easier difficulty? (Don’t think I’ve forgotten it, I think about it every day.) Wyatt’s struggle is vital and important, and the way the rest of the characters treat it is even more important for any type of character, but definitely a masculine one.

Note: From what I know, Wyatt copes with addiction in an attempt to help his illness in The New Colossus, but does recover after some challenges. I think this is also an important story, and hope to play through it someday.

J, one of my favorite characters, is one of the few Black characters featured in The New Order (aside from Bombate, who I adore) and is the survivor of a hate crime by United States white supremacists. He is a guitarist and initially, as mentioned in the previous article, finds conflict with B.J. because he tells B.J. that in the U.S., white people (and implicitly, I think, the military) were the Nazis. J is so important to the story that it disappoints me not all players might fully engage with his story and his scenes, since they aren’t mandatory, but he opens B.J.’s mind literally and figuratively by playing music and giving B.J. drugs that cause him to hallucinate, but also reflect on his thoughts about Black Americans and about the role of white U.S. citizens in the oppression of Black people. It’s a beautiful scene.

J from Wolfenstein: The New Order, a black man playing a guitar. Image from user eg0rikTM on Steam.
J from Wolfenstein: The New Order. Image from user eg0rikTM on Steam.

J himself is portrayed in many ways like Jimi Hendrix, who he appears to be based on – natural hair, colorful clothing styled like 60s and 70s funk fashion (as much as can be managed in the war). He does not fit the white concept of masculinity, and that’s important. He could be seen by some to be flamboyant, but instead he is presented as expressing himself. He could have been presented as hyper masculine and robust in a racist stereotype, but instead he is thin, scarred, but still resilient. I could say a lot more about J, but I would want to hear more from Black players on his masculine portrayal, and on that of Bombate. 

Bombate is a Resistance fighter and I know that in The New Colossus he is portrayed somewhat as a womanizer, cheating on one character with another. However, in The New Order, he’s steadfast and tells stories of his experiences at the hands of the Nazis. Bombate traveled north from his home in Southwest Africa (Namibia) to face the Nazis head on, and after two years was put into a forced labor camp. He has been through immense trauma, but it never once is designed in The New Order for you to feel any disrespect for him for the way he processes that trauma or to see him as anything other than heroic. 

He is framed as masculine, and is not dismissed as a threat to the Nazis. Bombate is an immediate powerful ally for the player as B.J., respected and trusted. It is refreshing to see a character presented so simply as someone just and who did the right thing, even if they suffered, and not have the whole story be how they are now weak because of their trauma (but not presenting them as unrealistically powerful, either). Especially for masculine characters, I feel like this is underrepresented.

This video on Whiteness and Judaism in Wolfenstein does a much better job than I could discussing the subject.

The final Resistance character I want to address is Set Roth. Set is one of the only Jewish characters we interact with, aside from B.J., and the highest profile masculine Jewish character whose identity is relevant. While there are absolutely concerns about the portrayal of Judaism in Wolfenstein, I was happy to see a Jewish character at all since past games kind of blurred over that beyond the main character (whose identity wasn’t really addressed). As far as masculinity goes, Set is presented as an elderly man, but still virile, still brilliant, and would by many be stereotyped as a wise old man (never failing to lose that vibe of men-are-smarter-than-women). However, he works alongside Caroline as an equal, and never once places value on masculinity of himself or others over that of the mission or the women in the game. 

Set is unusual in that his gender and presentation is not so overt and this may be a case of how we tend to de-gender or minimalize the genders or presentation of people who aren’t the standard issue white person, but it also may be related to the fact that he is older and we desexualize and de-gender the elderly in a similar way we do some young children. However, as I have limited exposure to masculine Jewish culture, I could also be witnessing my own bias in action – and this is something I would love to hear more Jewish perspectives on. I am far from an expert, I’m just sharing what I experience and witness. 


And now, a note on the other side of the conflict. We won’t dwell long on them, for obvious reasons. Note that none of my allowances for the possibilities of characters having trauma or reasons for their actions means that I excuse their actions or that I think anything they do is okay. Just for clarity! There are absolutely more masculine characters in the Nazi side, but I don’t want to give too much attention to them – they are mostly hypermasculine, toxic, and cruel characters.

B.J. Blazkowicz from Max Hass from Wolfenstein: The New Order, a white man saying "Breathe in, count to four. Breathe out, count to four." Image from user joumur on Steam.
We’re not sharing pictures of Nazis here. Take a breath, let’s get through this together. Image from user joumur on Steam.

Hans “Bubi” Winkle is the 15+ years junior companion of Frau Engel. His presentation is harder to address, because at first you might think that he was effeminate as a way to mock the unmanliness of Nazis or frame them as subservient to women, making women the enemy. But this… did not play out for me in the end. Hans (I refer to him by his name, not what he’s called by Engel) is absolutely a villain. He is absolutely a masculine character, but frankly he’s not the kind of masculine United States citizens are used to. German masculinity, from what I’ve witnessed being there and knowing a number of Germans, is not the same as U.S. masculinity. Hans is still within the range of masculinity in his dress, many of his mannerisms, and even his toxic masculinity of killing for the woman he loves. Engel is his “everything,” and for that, he wells with cruelty and indulges her atrocious acts.

It is important not to forget the masculine characters who are not what we stereotype as masculine. It’s important to address toxicity and the cultural context of the characters we see in media, regardless of whether it sounds good. The relationship between Frau Engel and Hans is toxic, especially when you factor in her abusive nature to her own family, and Frau Engel’s own favoring of time-typical masculine behaviors and dress, and masculine people over feminine people in her life. You note in the game that Hans plays up his ditzy boytoy attitude when around Engel, but becomes more brutal and masculine when apart from her. Hans stays in his position of power by following her rule, which is his failing as a human as much as it is clearly a method of survival. He is the passionately loyal lover and companion – willing to do anything to maintain his status, especially since his past life as an unsuccessful prison guard would never be worth going back to in comparison. 

Wilhelm Strasse, a.k.a. Deathshead, the initial villain of the game, is a polar opposite of Hans. He’s immensely powerful, and while he does fall in the end thanks to B.J., he’s held up as the epitome of Nazi brilliance and cruelty. However, it becomes very obvious throughout play that his eugenics and white supremacy (and male supremacy, if his cadre is any indication) is flawed. The dog brains he puts in robots still maintain habits of regular dogs, his creations suffer in pain, and his pride is what leads to his fall. 

He is absolutely portrayed as a masculine character in the same way that other Nazi generals and authorities have been portrayed in propaganda, like the doctors who performed atrocities. Their maleness, their masculine nature, is supposed to be what makes them so brilliant, so dispassionate and willing to be cruel and cold in the pursuit of science. It is a vile concept, but it is clear in the game that the Resistance and those opposing the obviously villainous Nazis don’t buy it. He is a villain in part because of this perverted toxic ideal of pristine and perfect masculinity. Instead, the characters embrace the imperfect masculinity of characters like Max, J, and B.J.

The Wolfenstein title card with B.J. swimming through water shirtless. Image from Moby Games database.
Image from Moby Games database.

That’s part two of this detailed series on how masculinity is designed in Wolfenstein: The New Order. Design includes how characters are written, how they interact, and how they are presented, beyond the mechanics or rules in the game. I hope to explore more of this topic in future installations of this series, and I appreciate your time as I pick apart my feelings on the game. Please consider supporting me occasionally or monthly on ko-fi.com/thoughty as I do more posts like this!

#33in28 – Thousand Year Old Vampire

Thousand Year Old Vampire is a multi-award winning game by Tim Hutchings currently available on itchio and in print at DriveThruRPG. It uses journaling and dice mechanics to guide the player through a solo roleplaying game about the subject – a Thousand Year Old Vampire (TYOV). The game has been widely popular, but I have a lot of thoughts to share!

Thousand Year Old Vampire

By Tim Hutchings

The General Idea

Genre Tags: solo, lonely, dice, journaling, roleplaying game
Replayable? Yes!
Actual Play Available? Examples included
Length: Short or Long, Journaling (At your own pace)

Thousand Year Old Vampire is a multi-award winning game by Tim Hutchings currently available on itchio and in print at DriveThruRPG. It uses journaling and dice mechanics to guide the player through a solo roleplaying game about the subject – a Thousand Year Old Vampire (TYOV). The game has been widely popular, but I have a lot of thoughts to share! 

As someone who initially interviewed Tim about the game, I’ve been fascinated with it from the start. I love games about characters who have superpowers like immortality or who are living over centuries, and media like that in general. This game explores that full tilt, including some really challenging topics.

The text includes warnings that you will encounter:

“themes of death, selfishness, and predation. Your character may be injured, victimized, trapped, or killed. Your character will murder and victimize people of all sorts, possibly including children, animals, loved ones, marginalized people, or themselves. You might find yourself exploring themes of imperialism, colonialism, or oppression. Characters might engage in self-harm or drug abuse. Illness, debilitation, and body horror may come into play. Your character may have their memories altered, they will certainly forget important things. 

Some of this will emerge from the Prompts, some will emerge from the choices you make as a player.

This is a personal, challenging game for mature adults. Please play hard, but stay aware of yourself and your feelings. Some good thoughts about safety in solo games can be found in Appendix Three.”
– Thousand Year Old Vampire

I love Thousand Year Old Vampire. Right now, I can’t play it.

The book is one of the most beautiful artifacts I’ve ever owned. The hardcover has gold riddling the marbled cover, and the interior is packed with images and a stunning, original layout that draws attention to the nature of this book as a well-used immortal’s journal, complete with the impression of things tucked into pages, taped into place, or scribbled into the margins. I love every time I open it, finding new gorgeous, character-building bits and pieces I missed the first four or five times I looked through. It’s sturdy, and while you can write in the book as you play, it may take some bravery to embellish the pages with your own scribbles of isolation and loneliness.

The cover of Thousand Year Old Vampire with the title taped on and the styling being of an old hardcover journal with blue and white patterning and gold inlay.

The mechanics are simple, using a d10 and d6 to select and narrow prompts and affect resolution, and the narrative mechanics of Memories and Experiences – the former the bucket for the latter, where multiple short written Experiences make up an arc of a Memory, of which you only have five total at a time. When you gain new Experiences, you lose Memories if you don’t have a space for them.

This mechanic makes so much sense to me when you consider the sheer number of prompts included to put a character through years of triumph and trauma, love and regret, camaraderie and loneliness. Imagine the number of experiences – real moments of eternal living – that a vampire would have in their endless life, how they might imagine ways of ending waking loneliness and sleeping suffering without their loved ones, regretting their deeds, wishing they could do greater ones! It is something that could be played equally passionately and dispassionately, engaging in the powerful prompts with the keen eye of a monster who only has more lives to take or instead with the weary heart of someone who has lived too long and only has longer to live. The possibilities! They are as endless as the days your vampire will sleep through and as engaging as the nights they hunt through.

I want to play this game so badly! It’s so well-written and executed, and the mechanics make so much sense for this immortal being who lives through hundreds of years of life and loss. But, as someone who struggles with memory loss, and during this time of isolation that has been very hard on me, I elected not to play it – right now. Thousand Year Old Vampire will remain on my to-play list until I get the courage to delve into its stunning pages and pen my own story of immortality, but if you want to dive in right now, don’t miss out! 

Thousand Year Old Vampire is a lonely journaling vampire game by Tim Hutchings currently available on itchio and in print at DriveThruRPG. It is one of my favorite games I’m reviewing this month and I hope you’ll check it out soon!

#33in28 Week 1 Reviews

This week I have a bundle of reviews for you, my readers! As part of #33in28 for my 33rd birthday I’m reviewing 33 solo games in February, which has 28 days. Each week I’ll post a single review on Monday, then a collection of six reviews on the following Sunday. The remaining three reviews will be peppered in on the big review days or as solo posts! As these are Let’s check out what today has to offer…

This week I have a bundle of reviews for you, my readers! As part of #33in28 for my 33rd birthday I’m reviewing 33 solo games in February, which has 28 days. Each week I’ll post a single review on Monday, then a collection of six reviews on the following Sunday. The remaining three reviews will be peppered in on the big review days or as solo posts! As these are Let’s check out what today has to offer…
*Edited 2/9/2021 to correct a name and fix some formatting.

Continue reading “#33in28 Week 1 Reviews”

#33in28 Review: A Greeblin’s Journey

This is the first in my #33in28 reviews series for the month of February celebrating my birthday (I’m 33 on the 4th). I’ll do one individual review on Monday of each week, then a collection of the rest of the reviews that week on the following Sunday. Not all reviews will be the same length, but I’ll try to be thoughtful as always. I’m mixing in a few reviews of games I’m familiar with or that I just want to play, because I can (and as example reviews). Luckily I have good taste!

*This game is currently being funded through itch sales, so what I reviewed is not the final product, just what is available prior to the creator hitting their sales goal. Full disclosure: I will be editing the text and I have drawn art to be used for it, but this is the first time I’ve read the text myself.

A Greeblin’s Journey

The General Idea

Genre Tags: multiplayer (3+ players & facilitator), fantasy, tarot cards, heists, coins
Replayable? Yes!
Actual Play Available? Some examples in text
Length: Short (One-shot)

The Review

Today I’m reviewing A Greeblin’s Journey by Thomas Novosel! A Greeblin’s Journey is a solo fantasy adventure game in zine format funding through itchio. I have played it with Thomas’s help before (handwriting for me, primarily, for a playtest) and I’m excited to check it out again! 

The zine itself is well written and clearly laid out with a cute and fun cover piece by Thomas. I think the guidance at the start of the zine about themes you’ll encounter is really great, and is a good guideline for how to inform players about content so they can consent and play actively. Really a good starter. 

“A player should before they play take note of what they are comfortable with for themes, as the game’s story is meant to edge the line of victory through luck and will, and what it is like to need to move. The feelings associated with your bones requiring a change of space and life after an entire life of sitting comfortably alone.” – A Greeblin’s Journey, Thomas Novosel

This in particular really resonated with me, as someone who has been in one place for a long time, and who wants to go from one place to another. The elegance of this section’s explanation of the game to come is very true to my experience of play.

A drawing of a Greeblin sitting on a pillow, looking wrinkly and wearing a pierced ear. Art by Beau Jágr Sheldon.
A Greeblin I drew for A Greeblin’s Journey.

Another section that I really like is the description of Greeblins, which can be any kind of thing really, and this part in particular:

“While every Greeblin is different, and there is no core definition of what or who a Greeblin is, there is a feeling. Anyone can look at a Greeblin and sense that they are a Greeblin. Whether it be the way they communicate with others, or the way they look up at the natural world around them, or the curiosity they have with the constructions of civilization.” – A Greeblin’s Journey, Thomas Novosel

As the game states, a Greeblin doesn’t have a name. As someone who only recently acquired their name, I feel very Greeblin-like a lot of the time. This feels really queer in the design, though I honestly don’t know if Thomas intended it that way. Playing the game and coming to the end of the Greeblin’s story felt very reflective of many journeys, but as a queer person, I saw my own journey in it while experiencing a fantastical adventure, which is a great achievement of design.

Speaking of design, the game uses simple two die rolls and narrative prompts (which the game encourages you to replace if there is trouble with content) and then you journal your response to the prompt. I would call A Greeblin’s Journey a being game very much, because while you detail what you do, it’s about being a Greeblin and experiencing their journey. Each Chronicle of the story adds up to a goal of 21 to reach the end of your story, just like in Blackjack (card game). This allows you to time play effectively, but also paces the story well, and gives a chance of failure that is truly bittersweet considering my previous paragraph. It may take a second read to fully understand the mechanic since it’s not our standard fare, but the game does recommend one anyway to clearly understand the rules and play guidelines.

The mechanics include an Impetus die, determining what prompted the Greeblin to journal today, and the Topic die, which determines what they are writing about. There is also the Substitution, which allows you to swap a number you roll for a 1 to allow you to control the pacing of the game (a really smart mechanic, imo), and the Freebies, which are 2 free Impetus, allowing you to replace an Impetus roll with a different Impetus and set the score for it at 0. 

A drawing of a lanky, spotted Greeblin coming out of a cave and doing just fine. Art by Beau Jágr Sheldon.
I love this Greeblin I drew for the text. So lanky!

I won’t spoil the prompts, but they’re quite evocative and inspire a lot of introspection about how the Greeblin interacts with the world, how you as the Greeblin feel about those things, and what matters to you on the journey. I admit that in my playthrough for the playtest I was blessed with Thomas’s dulcet tones reading aloud as he inscribed my responses to the prompts, but I still feel reading through it today that this is a truly fun, and very thoughtful, game for a solo player. Reading the prompts and responses aloud to yourself is genuinely enjoyable, and Thomas’s writing is flavorful and weird.

I created a Greeblin to demonstrate how flavorful it is, using only options (bolded) in the book. Here are how the prompts came out:

My Greeblin…
has tattoos that move in the breeze,
prizes their magic spoon, as its reflection shows what they desire,
is coming from the tall forest with no stars or moons,
and is going to the pink salt ocean and its salt towers.

Like, yes. This is my jam entirely. If Thomas hadn’t been designing this completely separate of me (I’ll edit in the future, but I had no input on design or writing aside from proofreading if he asked), I’d swear he put some of this in here just for my tastes. Tattoos that move in the breeze? I imagine my Greeblin with a pretty mermaid on their arm, though they’ve never seen the sea, who reaches out for passing dandelion puffs. I imagine a forest so bright that it blinds any stars or moons and the only reprieve is the shade, but the trees are so large there are many shadows to lurk in. The spoon shows them a real ocean, with stars overhead and dark skies making the sea look like blood. That ocean – it remains to be revealed, but the Greeblin has many imaginings of what it holds. They intend to lick the salt towers, as would be expected. Who wouldn’t?

The Greeblin’s Journey is a solo game zine by Thomas Novosel currently funding on itchio. It is an exploratory experience with simple mechanics that feels much deeper than skin and simply is good fun and storytelling. Check it out today to create your Greeblin and help them take their journey!

The Man and The Stag on itchio!

A game for two players where they tell stories and play out scenes about the unusual The Man who stays in their cabin in the woods and alone… except for The Stag from the copse who wants to influence the world of man with magic. Whether this connection leads to a revelation or condemnation does truly depend on the cards. Crowdfund ends March 15, 2021!

I am releasing The Man and The Stag as a crowdfunding project as part of #Zinequest3!


A black and white stag with a man between their antlers.
Logo art by Beau, click for the itchio page!

My goal is $1000 by March 15, 2021 and with the following goals, I’ll provide more content! There’s also a number of rewards on the itch page to help me reach my goal!

  • $250 – Art by Thomas A. Novosel, fleshing out the interior sketches!
  • $500 – Art by John W. Sheldon for the cover!
  • $750 – A recorded playthrough with Thomas A. Novosel!
  • $1000 – A Print-on-Demand code will be made available to those who have purchased to get an at-cost copy of the zine!
  • and if we reach $1200, John will do another art piece for us!

I have added a number of rewards that I think suit the project, including one-on-one games and portrait illustrations, but also community copies!

Campaign ends March 15, 2021 at end of day Eastern time!

Continue reading “The Man and The Stag on itchio!”

approachable theory: Defining Game Genres

Genres always have soft edges, and any given work may fit into multiple genres (e.g., NYPD Blue is a drama, a police procedural, and arguably a modern noir, but it is not a crime thriller in the way that fellow police procedural Law & Order: Criminal Intent is). Games aren’t well defined by the genres we use for fixed fiction (because games are not fixed in that way, and are not experienced the way we experience books or movies).

This post is by Beau and John W. Sheldon. Check out John’s work here and find him on Twitter. Support Beau through Patreon.com/thoughty! Individual donations at PayPal.me/Thoughty or ko-fi.com/thoughty.

John

A bearded person, John, in a maroon sweater and jeans posing in front of an ivy covered wall and fence.
John W. Sheldon (by Beau).

Genres always have soft edges, and any given work may fit into multiple genres (e.g., NYPD Blue is a drama, a police procedural, and arguably a modern noir, but it is not a crime thriller in the way that fellow police procedural Law & Order: Criminal Intent is). Games aren’t well defined by the genres we use for fixed fiction (because games are not fixed in that way, and are not experienced the way we experience books or movies).

Games need separate genres for their rules as written, for their fictional content, and for the experiences that arise from the confluence of those things with player action.

Rules genres: GURPS and Cortex share a rules genre with the D20 SRD, in that they offer a toolkit approach to providing game rules for “almost anything”. On a different axis of rules genre, GURPS and D20 share a genre because of their simulationist approach to resolving conflicts in a granular way, where Cortex is excluded from that genre.

Content Genres: the fictional and tonal content of a game deserves genre categorization. This includes whether a game is expected to be an action game, a dramatic game, or a comedy, but also the setting and time period, the level of technology, and other trappings of more traditional genres. Games can share content genres without sharing rules genres (e.g., Hackmaster and Dungeon World share several aspects of content genres without sharing much in rules genres).

Beau sitting with a coffee mug and a Shadowrun book.
Each edition of Shadowrun is a little different, too.

Experiential Genre: a category defined by how players experience the interplay between the rules, the content, and their own contributions, the more tightly this genre is defined the less universal and helpful a descriptor it will be (since a separate game table with different people may implement rules differently, focus on different content, and make unique contributions, and thusly have a different Experience of a game with the same rules and content).

One table’s experience of Shadowrun as a cyberPUNK game focused on sticking it to the man and helping disadvantaged communities draws from the same fiction and rules as another table’s experience of Shadowrun as a neon future heist simulator.

Notes on broad category: Doing games vs Being games (those that care about what you do vs those that care about what you are). Most tabletop RPG games are Doing games – the rules respond to actions, and they lead to more actions and changes in action. Many indie LARPs are Being games – the rules instruct the players on how to be and what to consider, and players respond naturally to their new way of being – but the rules are less concerned with Doing. The Climb or Still Life are Being larps, while a V:tM larp or a boffer larp are Doing larps. Turn is a Being game, while every other group tabletop RPG I can think of is a Doing game.


Beau

Beau in a black and grey hoodie tee.
Beau Jágr Sheldon (by John).

When I worked on Turn, I was often asked about its genre. I found this difficult and categorized it as I could but realized over time that games have different ways of being in genres than other media, and realized I needed to address this before we talk more about Wolfenstein: The New Order which defies its own genre conventions…sort of.

I talked to John about this and it prompted his summary, and my summary was as following with a more detailed breakdown of examples of games. It’s mostly something to think about, not argue about, so I felt okay writing it down. Even John and I feel differently about some things, so remember, all is a little subjective.

Ways of Playing

Doing – about taking action, what you do. Most games!

Being – about responding to action, who you are (& how you feel). Turn, many larps, many lonely games. 

Genre Categories

  • Experiential genre – how the game is experienced, narrative driven, character driven, etc.
  • Game/mechanics genre – the mechanical design and intent, generic, specific, fps, action, etc.
  • Content genre – type of content, presentation of content, supernatural, noir
  • Tonal genre – how the game feels, intense, slice of life, dramatic, cozy, etc.
A table covered in different games.
All of these games have similarities and differences in genre and in ways of playing.

We used these to break down the following genre tags for a few different games. The initial bullet points are our brainstormed ideas of what suits a game, but are not all-inclusive, and the breakdowns follow. Each one of these categories has the potential to break down even further, especially content and mechanics, which could break down into in-game tone and meta tone or various mechanical systems for live action, video, or tabletop games.


Examples

  • GURPS – doing, generic, tabletop rpg
    • Mechanical: tabletop RPG
    • Content: generic
  • The Climb – being, scenario driven dramatic realistic live action rpg
    • Experiential: scenario driven
    • Mechanical: live action RPG
    • Content: dramatic
    • Tonal: realistic
  • Still Life – being, character driven slice of life live action rpg
    • Experiential: character driven
    • Mechanical: live action RPG
    • Tonal: slice of life
  • Vampire Larp – doing, fantasy, urban supernatural dramatic character driven, player driven live action rpg
    • Experiential: character driven, player driven
    • Mechanical: live action RPG
    • Content: fantasy, urban supernatural
  • Boffer Larp – doing, scenario driven, dungeon fantasy live action rpg
    • Experiential: scenario driven
    • Mechanical: live action RPG
    • Content: dungeon fantasy
  • The Story of My Face – being, horror adventure and scenario driven, player driven lonely live action rpg, selfie game
    • Experiential: scenario driven, player driven
    • Mechanical: lonely game, selfie game, live action RPG
    • Content: Horror, adventure
    • Tonal: lonely game
  • Dungeons & Dragons – doing, dungeon fantasy, adventure narrative driven character driven tabletop rpg
    • Experiential: narrative driven, character driven
    • Mechanical: tabletop RPG
    • Content: dungeon fantasy, adventure
  • Shadowrun 5e – doing, cyberpunk alternative futuristic narrative driven scenario driven tabletop rpg
    • Experiential: narrative driven, scenario driven
    • Mechanical: tabletop RPG
    • Content: CYBERpunk, alternative futuristic
  • Shadowrun: Anarchy – doing, cyberpunk alternative futuristic character driven scenario driven tabletop rpg
    • Experiential: character driven, scenario driven
    • Mechanical: tabletop RPG
    • Content: cyberPUNK, alternative futuristic
  • Turn – being, slice of life character driven supernatural rural shapeshifters tabletop rpg
    • Experiential: character driven
    • Mechanical: roleplaying game
    • Content: supernatural, rural, shapeshifters
    • Tonal: slice of life
  • Wolfenstein The New Order – doing, fps drama/dramatic historical/period alternate universe punk, character driven video game
    • Experiential: character driven
    • Mechanical: first person shooter (FPS), video game
    • Content: drama, historical/period, alternate universe, punk
    • Tonal: dramatic
The Ultimate Micro RPG book cover.
A collection of games can range widely based on how it was curated, because every game is so very different but has so much in common!

Genre Principles

These breakdowns might take a little while to fully make sense of, but here are the core principles.

  1. Games have different genres than other media.
  2. The experience of games influences the genre of a game.
  3. Sometimes genre tags fit in multiple categories.
  4. Different people will assign different meanings to different genre tags and categories.
  5. Doing and being can be isolated or they can be combined, a number of games have a little bit of both, and their dominant way of playing can change how they are experienced, influencing genre.
  6. Genre is a tool, but is not necessarily something everyone must use or understand. It is something, however, people can bend or break, adhere to or queer, without using or understanding it actively. 

This is just the start of a longer conversation about how we use genre to apply a moral value to various games, or to belittle the quality without questioning of games. Wolfenstein is simply an FPS, but is one of the deepest games I’ve ever played. The only difference between Shadowrun 5e and Shadowrun Anarchy is the experience and where the emphasis is on cyberpunk but it makes two very different games. Turn is a combination of genre tags that don’t really have a place when they’re all combined, but it results in a unique play experience as a being game. 

What is your game’s genre breakdown using this metric? Does it play like you’re doing or being? How do you feel about ignoring genre or exploring it more deeply? Respectfully discuss in the comments and elsewhere. I look forward to hearing your discussions!

A table setup to play Roar of Alliance.
What matters most is that we have fun in these games. And fun? Fun is its own genre!

Script Change 2021 Updates!

Devlog on Itchio: https://briebeau.itch.io/script-change/devlog/209532/script-change-update-2021

Hey all! 

I’m excited to announce that Script Change has experienced a significant update with three more tools and a new layout! You can find the new free text version at briebeau.com/scriptchange and the PDF plus the handouts are still free with option to donate at briebeau.itch.io/script-change. I have raised the suggested donation to $5 because of the sheer amount of time and effort I have put into Script Change over the years, and the continued creation of new content. I hope that’s okay!

In 2021, I’ve added Bloopers & Outtakes, a formal wrap meeting structure, the Editor’s Notes with picks, squicks, and icks to help guide content and response, and Two Thumbs Up to help with quiet check-ins  and for less verbal players. These changes have been developing for a while, and I’m so excited to release them for you all!

Note: For the time being, please use the previous revision’s handout to put out descriptions on the table for reference, as I need more time to do the layout work and nothing’s changed on it. Also, in the new Bloopers & Outtakes section, I managed to only write “bloopers” on each Reel listing, but I’ll fix this soon if I can. I apologize for missing it!

Thank you so much for your continued support!

The Script Change tools for cutting out.
The Script Change RPG Toolbox Handout’s first page. Download the formatted version for free at briebeau.itch.io/script-change to get the full handout and these instructions in a printable format!
The Editor's Notes sheet for Script Change.
The second page of handouts for Script Change.

A New Masculinity

I spent a lot of time thinking about the middle name I wanted after I decided to depart from my birth name fully when it came to my legal name, and it got me thinking about Wolfenstein: The New Order…Real people should not be punished with the weight of anyone’s ideals as their expectation…

Buckle in folks, it’s a long one, and the start of a series! This one is personal AND professional, pursuing an understanding of some complex theory and experiences. I am excited for it, so please join me in that excitement!

Content Warnings for this and the following posts, adding new ones as necessary and bolding the relevant ones for today: gender identity, gender dysphoria, disability, mental illness, Nazis, childhood trauma, physical trauma, death, war, violence, hate crimes (mentioned), racism (mentioned), anti-Semitism, domestic abuse (spousal & parent/child), animal harm (mention), legal struggles for trans persons, social isolation.

Beau in a jean jacket, black shirt, and jean jacket with a shoulder brace. Their hair is blue and silver, cut short on top and shaved on the sides, and they're wearing glasses. The image is double exposed over an older photo of Beau. Image by Beau Sheldon, 2020.
2016 feels like a lifetime ago, with a lot learned and lost in the process. I found some light in B.J. Blazkowicz. Where is yours?

For the longest time, I thought I’d keep my birth name nickname as part of my legal name. While my full legal name has forever been a bane to me, I have seen myself for a long time as The Brie. But that’s it, right? The Brie. It’s a title, not a name that suits me, or that represents who I am. It represents some of what I create, but I am not Brie. I’m Beau.

Brie Beau Sheldon. Still The Brie, still Brie Beau in creation, but not Brie.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the middle name I wanted after I decided to depart from my birth name fully when it came to my legal name, and it got me thinking about Wolfenstein: The New Order. How the designers at Machine Games remade William “B.J.” Joseph Blazkowicz had a huge impact on me, and I had one more element: I wanted my initials to be B.J.

I came out in 2016 while I was playing The New Order off and on. I loved the game passionately, and it was mostly because of B.J. (For the purposes of this post and those related to it, we’ll stick with The New Order. The New Colossus has a lot more to dig into, and I’m not ready for it – and I don’t have a new body on the way, either.)

A screenshot promotional image from the early Wolfenstein games showing a Nazi swastika flag in a stone walled grey space and a hand with a gun pointing toward an enemy soldier carrying a weapon. There is a blue UI with information on the floor, score, lives, health, ammo, and an image of both the weapon and B.J. Blazkowicz.
There is not much subtlety here. Image: id Software/Apogee Software

B.J. started out in games as a one-dimensional angry Nazi killing white guy. He finishes The New Order as a poetic Jewish man in love with the woman who helped him recover from a severe injury and gave his life for his belief that everyone deserves to be free who lets other people be free. That’s quite a turnaround.

I was struggling, I suppose, for people who represented what I saw in masculinity. While I am nonbinary, I don’t struggle as much with expressing and representing that part of my identity because of its flexibility. Masculinity is more of a challenge, but is just as important. In real life, I have quite a few men and nonbinary masc people that I respect massively and appreciate for their masculinity. But, I learned a long time ago not to base my ideals on real people – real people should not be punished with the weight of anyone’s ideals as their expectation, and that’s what happens. So I was hunting.

Beau with green and grey hair in a black and grey hoodie tee entering a doorway lit in green while carrying a blue-lit sword.
In many ways, I’m always hunting. Image: John W. Sheldon, 2020.

I was also hurting. I felt so left out of the community, I had entered two new jobs where I felt alienated and afraid, I had started a Master’s program where I was weird and strange to everyone I met, and I was still struggling with my mental and physical health, as well as various life stuff. I needed someone to restore my faith in me, in what I believed, even if it was fictional – to me, that it could be conceived by others was enough.

As I played the game, I realized slowly that B.J. was the masculinity I see. He is a flawed man, but he is also a man who has been harmed (in some ways, he reflects his original creator (domestic abuse & chronic illness warning)- strange after all these years!). No one is perfect, and he does not subscribe to the idea that the decisions need to be made by or controlled by cis straight white men. His leaders are women and disabled women. He defers to his wife Anya after they escape from his hospice and get married, her leading the way in the bedroom and also being his guiding light in the field. Caroline, a brilliant leader and amputee with a prosthetic, is his most trusted colleague and the person who is in charge of his life.

In his interactions with J, the Black guitarist who survived a U.S. Nazi attack, he works to overcome the ingrained racism he was raised with. He works side by side with disabled veterans and civilians, people of all ages and backgrounds, and even reformed Nazis. While yes, B.J. may initiate a first interaction with someone who violates his worldview in a shitty way, he apologizes, he backs down, he defers to the marginalized, and he tries to change.

B.J. and J meet with a harsh conflict, but bond when B.J. accepts J’s offer to open his mind and his perspective changes. I recommend not watching past the three minute mark, as things get dark but loud for J at the hands of the villains. Video sourced through SnackPackedd’s YouTube.

And yes, I will be frank – B.J.’s poetic waxing in my noise-cancelling earbuds wooed me to a degree, and I do think he’s a huge hunk of himbo. But when I cried at the end of The New Order, it was not just because the story itself ended. It’s because my time with B.J. had ended, this space of time where a man who does great violence because violence is called for and because he is the right one to do it awkwardly looks like a puppy when his wife kisses him, and overcomes some extreme suffering at the hands of many different people.

He does harm to himself to rip away the marks of Nazism, and takes acid with J to see a new reality, and makes the hard decisions, and dies and lives and breathes freedom and hope. B.J. feels ultra-masculine because he does violence and he speaks harshly, but in reality he is soft and he hurts and fears but keeps going as that ultra-masculine presentation because he is the right one to do it.

To me, we represent the best masculinity not so differently from femininity, aside from weird invisible things I can’t explain. It’s the kind of guy who if you ask him, he will beat down every bully that’s ever threatened you, no matter how big or endless, but he would be so much happier to lay back on green grass while a dog or his kids bound around him and wait for his lover to say “Please do” before he does. That’s B.J. We got that from Blazko, the person who looked like an angry Lego® Man was his avatar.

An avatar of old school dirty blonde square head B.J. Blazkowicz next to a 100% health meter.
Can you imagine a Wolfenstein Lego® movie? Yikes. Image: id Software/Apogee Software (cropped).

I want to examine this in more detail as time passes, with a series of posts, talking about gender, game design, and much more. I will be clear: I do not think B.J. is a perfect person in any incarnation. I don’t think The New Order is perfect, either. But I think there’s a lot of richness there, and I think it’s important to break things down when they latch onto my heart. I hope you’ll join me as I dig deep and try to share ideas for tabletop and video game design both by looking at what The New Order, and B.J., do right and wrong.

I did find a middle name, by the way. It’s Jágr, which is a Czech name in honor of my commitment to Thomas, who blushes sometimes when I say sweet things to him, and pronounced like Jaeger, because it’s the Czech version of Jaeger and Jaeger means hunter. I think it’s undeniable that just like B.J., I am a hunter and always have been – of love, of hope, of joy, of answers, of freedom, and of those who seek to take freedom away.

A split screenshot of Anya, a woman wearing a headset, on the top and B.J., wearing his jacket and gear, on the bottom. They are discussing his next move.
We do what we must because we must. Image: Bethesda via MobyGames.

I’ve pressed submit on the request to have my name change prepared by a legal professional 15 minutes ago. It’s going to be expensive ($160 for legal help, $160 for the courts, ~$200+ for putting my name in the papers for protest), but I can’t wait to be realized as myself.

B.J. was 32 at the beginning of the first story told in games. I turn 33 in two months. It’s time for a change, and some growth. I have so much hunting to do.

Beau Jágr Sheldon.
That’s me.

Mountains, Gandalf

Dark mountains under a stark cloudy sky, clouding over a large field.

I have been working on the Turn Kickstarter since October 2018, and it has been quite a challenge. The Behind the Masc Kickstarter went so smoothly, with so few issues! Turn, on the other hand, had production changes, shipping challenges, and was all complicated by my continued health issues, both mental and physical. The project was a mountain, in a range of mountains so high I have been struggling to overcome them.

My remaining responsibilities for the Kickstarter are fulfilling some books that have been returned, some of which never were returned but never reached the customer (hooray, shipping!); fulfilling the Snake and Cougar backers, which I’ve only just started on and it’s been a snail’s pace – I feel extreme guilt over this, tbh; and completing and releasing the stretch goals, which are nearly done except for the border town supplement which was a late addition and is now on the back burner until everything else is complete. We legit are doing the final edits on the stretch goals, putting the cover on and touching up art, this weekend! It’s just so much more work than it seems, even when you go in expecting to climb Everest.

The reality is, there are always taller mountains.

Dark mountains under a stark cloudy sky, clouding over a large field.

Not only have I encountered issues with my head injury recovery, but I’ve also dealt with recurring back problems, required pelvic rehabilitation therapy and treatment for digestive and dental issues, and also fought constantly with Medicaid – not to forget struggles with depression, my bipolar disorder, and PTSD. My immediate family has struggled too, and I never manage to be there for them. All of this while I’m still trying to figure out how to contribute to my household – at this point, I struggle pointlessly.

I have taken on editing jobs, sensitivity consultation roles, and small game design jobs, but I’ve had to step out of a few, and those I have finished like the code of conduct used in a number of Pacific Northwest game design playtest groups are ones I don’t really see the fruits of – though the financial benefits were enough to stress out Medicaid.

I’ve supported the Homunculus Assembly Line Kickstarter regularly and will be doing writing and design for it, and hopefully working closely with a partner will make it easier. It’s just a frustrating pattern that there’s work and work and it’s always more than it seems, always this bigger mountain, and when we get to the reward at the end, it’s always smaller. Turn has been out for a while now, and few people have really recognized that – this is not a complaint, this is a recognition that I haven’t reached out to podcasts or reviewers and sent out copies to try to get their attention, because I’m too damn tired.

I’m going somewhere with this, I swear.

The reality is there are ranges of mountains we climb over every day, and let’s be real, the privileged, able, rich people will be able to get over them so much more easily than the rest of us. But it’s easier to do it together, tied together with some rope for safety, trusting in each other. When we fall, we can help each other up.

And people do this for me every day – my partners, my friends, my colleagues. I know I can be a goddamn disaster, but I also know that my openness about my pain and struggles gives people the opportunity to support me and help me, whether it’s through bundles that get me to conventions or gifting me from my birthday wishlist or just a DM to make sure I eat a goddamn meal today.

Winter tree branches obscuring a frozen lake and mountains in the distance.

The mountains are cold and lonely at times, and we will starve if we try to climb them alone. We don’t have to be some sort of superhumans, and we shouldn’t have to be. We should strive to support each other in a network of creators and consumers, loving and caring for one-another. We don’t have to cannibalize each other if we plan for the storms and listen to what wise people say.

That reward at the end won’t be as small if it’s shared between us and used to grow more and greater gardens. We can keep going! We just have to stick together, and find the beauty in the mountains together, and not turn back when it feels impossible.

This is what I’m telling myself, as I keep climbing. Will you tie your rope to me, and hold on tight as the winds blow?

Mountains under a blue sky behind a winter field.