I’m excited to formally announce the Script Change RPG Toolbox rebrand/redesign courtesy of Clayton Notestine! I have dreamed of a pleasing, more functional presentation of Script Change for a really long time, & it’s here & it’s amazing! Download the new version at briebeau.itch.io/script-change today!
I’m excited to formally announce the Script Change RPG Toolbox rebrand/redesign courtesy of Clayton Notestine! I have dreamed of a pleasing, more functional presentation of Script Change for a really long time, & it’s here & it’s amazing!
I first want to extend my thanks to Clayton for the incredible work done on this. He was communicative, thoughtful about my design ethos, & invested a lot of effort in showcasing Script Change. His expertise is noteworthy and undeniable!
Clayton took my very rudimentary layout & organization and turned it into a functional design!
Script Change was originally written as part of [Tabletop] Blockbuster, an early design project by John & me focusing on action movie style play. I love cinematic gaming, & had been introduced to the X-card.
I wanted more for my safety experience in play, and I wanted it to be portable to other systems. I chose language I knew commonly for the tools, starting with pause, which is my favorite safe word & suited the theme.
The Pause card is vital for play & is an approachable way to introduce taking breaks in game to discuss how you want to engage with content, mechanics, or story elements.
I built on it inspired by various concepts – the cinematic fade to black (fast forward), a vibe like Archipelago’s “try a different way” (rewind), and it kept building from there. I’ve updated it often since then, & it’s a full box of tools!
There are many tools in Script Change, including some without unique cards, that help players from the start of planning their gaming experiences to post-play when debriefing and follow-up can be valuable.
Clayton took the simple text layout I had and made easy to recognize cards for the table, as well as reorganizing and at times clarifying my text to ensure it was approachable and fit the conversational intent.
The cinematic language is similar to the kind of words we use for watching videos, listening to music, and is also pretty easy to conceptualize. It carries on into instant replay, wrap meetings, & the further tools that facilitate play.
The new layout is really more usable, functional, and recognizable, plus it’s just way prettier to look at!
I love the feeling of the graphic presentation of the new design, & I am so glad to have this new look & organization to help people play games safer, with better control of content & consent! Thanks Clay!
I think about the concept of peril in adventures quite a lot, especially as someone who generally isn’t big on character death, extreme physical or mental trauma, & failing. What on earth is an adventure without those types of peril? Does a game even require an adventure, 0r peril, to be fun? (I won’t be discussing the nature of fun, that’s your own thing.)
by John W. Sheldon, 2021.
I think about the concept of peril in adventures quite a lot, especially as someone who generally isn’t big on character death, extreme physical or mental trauma, & failing. What on earth is an adventure without those types of peril? Does a game even require an adventure, 0r peril, to be fun? (I won’t be discussing the nature of fun, that’s your own thing.)
With many of my games, peril like violence or death or trauma can absolutely occur, but a lot of the time it’s only when the players choose that experience for their characters, with the consent of others at the table. This is part of why I require Script Change at my tables when I play, but it’s also part of why a lot of the time I warn people in my games about the potential for this kind of content. Many people think that a game isn’t a game if you’re not in danger, if your experience is not perilous.
Content warning for violation of consent (vague), discussion of consent, discussion of the need for consent in games and community, accountability in all spaces
This article discusses the nature of soft no’s, hard no’s, using these in meta accessibility tools, and the use of accountability meta accessibility tools.
Today on approachable theory we’re talking about meta accessibility tools, and we’re going to start by breaking down what I mean by that term. Read more!
Today on approachable theory we’re talking about meta accessibility tools, and we’re going to start by breaking down what I mean by that term.
Content warning: alcohol abuse, binge drinking, discussion of risk of violation of consent and assault, underage drinking, social pressure, childhood trauma, anxiety, PTSD, coping, domestic abuse, suicide mention, self harm mention
I have been drinking since I was twelve years old. Alcohol, that is – water and I go way back. I grew up in a drinking heavy culture with easy access to alcohol and the understanding that booze makes you fun, in spite of my own traumatic experiences as a child showing me that drunk adults were not fun. Nonetheless, I jammed to that song and by the time I was legal to drink, I was seasoned, and it tipped over rapidly into a binge drinking habit that nearly ruined my life.
Content warning: alcohol abuse, binge drinking, discussion of risk of violation of consent and assault, underage drinking, social pressure, childhood trauma, anxiety, PTSD, coping, domestic abuse, suicide mention, self harm mention
I have been drinking since I was twelve years old. Alcohol, that is – water and I go way back. I grew up in a drinking heavy culture with easy access to alcohol and the understanding that booze makes you fun, in spite of my own traumatic experiences as a child showing me that drunk adults were not fun. Nonetheless, I jammed to that song and by the time I was legal to drink, I was seasoned, and it tipped over rapidly into a binge drinking habit that nearly ruined my life.
I have not been drunk since December of 2015. Let’s talk about it.
Why Was I Drinking?
Let’s do this.
Over five years of moderation – what I chose instead of abstinence sobriety, knowing my own reaction to abstinence and how often I would still be exposed to alcohol living in Pittsburgh, working in games. And games are part of how it got so bad. Corporate had a huge part in it too, but conventions were the tipping point.
To be clear, I still drink alcohol. But I went from, at worst, a full bottle of liquor a binge (binging over 8 drinks a night, multiple nights a week) to now at most, two small glasses of Manischewitz or mixed drink every couple weeks or so. Sometimes, I’ve gone whole months without even tasting alcohol beyond Listerine. But for me, sobriety is about not being drunk, not abstinence. Learning to control my intake, my exposure, and learning to not get drunk.
Surprisingly, with that came the significant limitation of what I drink – mostly it’s for special occasions or to try something special. To me, with a family history of alcoholism, during this pandemic, this has been a massive achievement. I am proud of how far I’ve come.
Let me get to the root of things.
I got there because of three very specific things:
Coping with trauma surrounding alcohol by becoming one of the drunk people, including PTSD and anxiety
Environments seeping with alcohol and drunkenness in my social and professional life, including people buying excessive alcohol for me
People telling me that I, a person with low self esteem, was “more fun” and “better to be around” when drunk
…all of these things combined made me into a monster of a drinker. One corporate networking event, I was given so many free drinks that I enthusiastically drank to hide my anxiety that I passed out in a Subway bathroom, broke my phone, missed work, and had to call my spouse to rescue me while I couldn’t find my car keys. My first Gen Con, I willingly drank an extreme amount of alcohol the first night, aided by many of my peers and people far older than me purchasing me multiple drinks and encouraging me, even when I was obviously drunk.
The drinking made the people around me include me more, talk to me more, say nice things to me – and it dulled my deep, untreated anxiety and PTSD from being around drunk & drinking people – plus everyone else was drinking, and seemed to be drinking a lot at these events, and so many people were drunk or had behaviors that triggered my PTSD about drunk people that I thought I wasn’t the only one. After that night at Gen Con, I woke up without a hangover after getting mad sick all night, and everyone else was wrecked. I thought it was normal. I thought it was okay, and that most people were like this, just like they were in corporate, where I’d watched coworkers and bosses drag in hungover for years. It was not normal, nor was it okay.
What Changed?
I considered any degree of self harm, or hoping that someone would finally end me.
After an abusive relationship where my partner encouraged me to drink because I was “more fun” and “not annoying,” where they abused me less when I was drinking, I got to the point where my last Dreamation, 2015, took me over the edge. I was manic, in the midst of a traumatic episode post-abusive-breakup, and I don’t remember most of it. I am sure there are still people I should apologize to, but it took me two years to apologize to one of the people I hurt the most out of shame and self-isolation. I was destroyed after that weekend.
After that, I stopped drinking at all within a week. I tried to cut it out completely for a while, and then at the end of the year I was at a work event and got so trashed I had to be escorted home, got in a verbal fight with a coworker, and broke some items at home (not to mention the bruising from being sloppy). A coworker had said something triggering during the event and I just cruised down the hole, and after that, I realized abstinence and exposure needed some recalibration. My goal became to moderate, minimize, but also avoid environments where drinking was common, plus I made the goal don’t get drunk not don’t drink, and it helped.
I have had the edges of tipsy a few times, but I have even dumped out drinks to risk going further. I started promoting safer drinking spaces and sober spaces, like with the Soda Pop Social, at cons that I attended. I realized that my abusive relationship would have been shorter, my experience with assault may not have happened, and my childhood trauma may not have existed without drunkenness. I pursued therapy doggedly and I stopped attending a lot of events that bred the environment that triggered my bad behaviors, and stopped hanging out with people who did the same.
What Does This Have to Do With Games?
We have to be more than together. We need to be committed to safety.
I’m talking about this in a gaming space because dear lordy, is it relevant.
Gaming spaces are flooded with alcohol, references to alcohol, and alcohol abuse, plus predators who take advantage of that. We have seen in the past years many people plied with alcohol, harmed, and then shamed for participating in a toxic and drenched culture of legacy game people, people with power and authority and charisma, and people who have been chosen as darlings of the industry using alcohol to do business, take advantage of people, and abuse the power that they have.
Drinking in moderation can be safe and fun, but when you apply power dynamics and people thinking it’s okay to do business (or pleasure) to an environment full of alcohol, surrounded by and surrounding alcohol, it is toxic and dangerous. The fact that the only drinks we really mention in games like D&D are alcohol is no coincidence to our alcohol focused culture. There was even a “get drunk and get interviewed to spill beans about the industry” interview series that was wildly popular on Kickstarter, and I spent months of anxiety disgusted and upset about it. Few people seemed to care, because hey, drinking’s just fun! Right?
The Fear
It is so important to me that things don’t worsen, and instead get better.
And now, we are in the pandemic. We are isolated. We are all broke. When the tide turns, if it does, and we return to events like game days, conventions, private house cons, I feel like the risk will be amplified. Predators will be in full force, and we’ll all want to celebrate, and to celebrate is to drink, according to a lot of cultural baggage we have. We also have a huge influx of people who are designing and gaming who have never been to these events, who may not know how to be safe, or who may be vulnerable to people and structures of power.
I want to see us avoid the pitfalls that will happen. So, the people who may be at risk mostly have been told what to do: be careful, don’t trust strangers, don’t drink at conventions or events, etc. I want to talk to people who don’t think they’re at risk of predation, addiction, or moreso, promoting dangerous behaviors.
Don’t offer people alcohol first. Offer soda, juice, food, etc., and only have alcohol as the next option if they opt towards it.
Eat meals or snacks with booze. This makes people less likely to get smashed.
Go to other areas of the event than the bar or go to restaurants without alcohol.
Check in with people if they have been drinking and ensure they are safe to go home/to their rooms without risks, including by finding them someone they feel safe with to escort them if they don’t feel safe with you (if they hesitate, etc.).
Bring things other than booze to hotel rooms, or if you do bring something special, limit sharing to one small drink for each person, and don’t serve intoxicated people.
Don’t serve drinks to or buy drinks for people who are intoxicated visibly.
Avoid using phrases like “I need a drink” or “you look like you need a drink” or referencing partying/drinking to relax or have fun.
For people running conventions, you have some responsibilities.
Don’t centralize events near or around the bar, and host actively dry events.
Consider offering drink tickets for of-age attendees limiting drinks to 2 alcoholic beverages, pre-purchased through the con and processed through the hotel or event location.
Do room checks for room parties to ensure people are being safe, including shutting down parties that are too heavy.
Discourage bar socializing by making spaces elsewhere to socialize that have access to water, soda, juice, snacks, etc. (helpful: avoid harsh lighting in these areas if possible, but don’t make them dark – think welcoming).
Don’t have alcohol themed events.
Have food available in some fashion, whether it’s providing local menus, snack bars, food related events, or helping to arrange food outings for smaller cons.
Don’t recommend bars or host major events at bars for cons, game days, or house cons.
Encourage events that would normally include alcohol like dances but instead bar alcohol or intoxication from the event.
Encourage vetted buddy systems, roommate check-ins, checking less-used areas, and checking with people going to their rooms that they’re with someone safe or that they have a safe escort.
Encourage digital check-ins on Discords, Slacks, or other private spaces when guests reach their rooms for the night or reach different at-risk events.
Vet staff and special guests rigorously for safety. Post staff & special guest lists in advance of events and allow people to give feedback, if possible.
Have a safety coordinator for your event!
This all sounds like a lot of work, but welcome to the modern era of conventions: where we try to give a shit.
For those of you who struggle with alcohol or addiction, I am always here to be your dry buddy. In fact, when I attend cons or events in the future, I am hoping to connect with other people attending who will be dry buddies – people who attend events with you and jointly agree to skip the alcoholic drinks and leave if things get rowdy, and escort each other safely away from events.
We can never guarantee someone is safe alone, or fully safe with any other person, but we can make an effort to vet people before events by getting some references before allowing them to have any access to vulnerable people. I will always try to keep you safe, but I am not perfect. We have to work together, be honest, and stick to what we promise together as a community.
Yes.
I want to see a safer community someday, but I fear the pandemic will increase our risk including when it passes. Be safe and be thoughtful. If you feel you are at risk for alcohol abuse, avoid at-risk spaces if possible, and check in regularly with a buddy regardless of where you are. Find help now, and know that your way of getting help doesn’t have to be the same as everyone else’s, so long as it works for you. We can get through this, all of us who struggle.
Genres always have soft edges, and any given work may fit into multiple genres (e.g., NYPD Blue is a drama, a police procedural, and arguably a modern noir, but it is not a crime thriller in the way that fellow police procedural Law & Order: Criminal Intent is). Games aren’t well defined by the genres we use for fixed fiction (because games are not fixed in that way, and are not experienced the way we experience books or movies).
Genres always have soft edges, and any given work may fit into multiple genres (e.g., NYPD Blue is a drama, a police procedural, and arguably a modern noir, but it is not a crime thriller in the way that fellow police procedural Law & Order: Criminal Intent is). Games aren’t well defined by the genres we use for fixed fiction (because games are not fixed in that way, and are not experienced the way we experience books or movies).
Games need separate genres for their rules as written, for their fictional content, and for the experiences that arise from the confluence of those things with player action.
Rules genres: GURPS and Cortex share a rules genre with the D20 SRD, in that they offer a toolkit approach to providing game rules for “almost anything”. On a different axis of rules genre, GURPS and D20 share a genre because of their simulationist approach to resolving conflicts in a granular way, where Cortex is excluded from that genre.
Content Genres: the fictional and tonal content of a game deserves genre categorization. This includes whether a game is expected to be an action game, a dramatic game, or a comedy, but also the setting and time period, the level of technology, and other trappings of more traditional genres. Games can share content genres without sharing rules genres (e.g., Hackmaster and Dungeon World share several aspects of content genres without sharing much in rules genres).
Each edition of Shadowrun is a little different, too.
Experiential Genre: a category defined by how players experience the interplay between the rules, the content, and their own contributions, the more tightly this genre is defined the less universal and helpful a descriptor it will be (since a separate game table with different people may implement rules differently, focus on different content, and make unique contributions, and thusly have a different Experience of a game with the same rules and content).
One table’s experience of Shadowrun as a cyberPUNK game focused on sticking it to the man and helping disadvantaged communities draws from the same fiction and rules as another table’s experience of Shadowrun as a neon future heist simulator.
Notes on broad category: Doing games vs Being games (those that care about what you do vs those that care about what you are). Most tabletop RPG games are Doing games – the rules respond to actions, and they lead to more actions and changes in action. Many indie LARPs are Being games – the rules instruct the players on how to be and what to consider, and players respond naturally to their new way of being – but the rules are less concerned with Doing. The Climb or Still Life are Being larps, while a V:tM larp or a boffer larp are Doing larps. Turn is a Being game, while every other group tabletop RPG I can think of is a Doing game.
Beau
Beau Jágr Sheldon (by John).
When I worked on Turn, I was often asked about its genre. I found this difficult and categorized it as I could but realized over time that games have different ways of being in genres than other media, and realized I needed to address this before we talk more about Wolfenstein: The New Order which defies its own genre conventions…sort of.
I talked to John about this and it prompted his summary, and my summary was as following with a more detailed breakdown of examples of games. It’s mostly something to think about, not argue about, so I felt okay writing it down. Even John and I feel differently about some things, so remember, all is a little subjective.
Ways of Playing
Doing – about taking action, what you do. Most games!
Being – about responding to action, who you are (& how you feel). Turn, many larps, many lonely games.
Genre Categories
Experiential genre – how the game is experienced, narrative driven, character driven, etc.
Game/mechanics genre – the mechanical design and intent, generic, specific, fps, action, etc.
Content genre – type of content, presentation of content, supernatural, noir
Tonal genre – how the game feels, intense, slice of life, dramatic, cozy, etc.
All of these games have similarities and differences in genre and in ways of playing.
We used these to break down the following genre tags for a few different games. The initial bullet points are our brainstormed ideas of what suits a game, but are not all-inclusive, and the breakdowns follow. Each one of these categories has the potential to break down even further, especially content and mechanics, which could break down into in-game tone and meta tone or various mechanical systems for live action, video, or tabletop games.
Examples
GURPS – doing, generic, tabletop rpg
Mechanical: tabletop RPG
Content: generic
The Climb – being, scenario driven dramatic realistic live action rpg
Experiential: scenario driven
Mechanical: live action RPG
Content: dramatic
Tonal: realistic
Still Life – being, character driven slice of life live action rpg
Experiential: character driven
Mechanical: live action RPG
Tonal: slice of life
Vampire Larp – doing, fantasy, urban supernatural dramatic character driven, player driven live action rpg
Experiential: character driven, player driven
Mechanical: live action RPG
Content: fantasy, urban supernatural
Boffer Larp – doing, scenario driven, dungeon fantasy live action rpg
Experiential: scenario driven
Mechanical: live action RPG
Content: dungeon fantasy
The Story of My Face – being, horror adventure and scenario driven, player driven lonely live action rpg, selfie game
Experiential: scenario driven, player driven
Mechanical: lonely game, selfie game, live action RPG
Shadowrun 5e – doing, cyberpunk alternative futuristic narrative driven scenario driven tabletop rpg
Experiential: narrative driven, scenario driven
Mechanical: tabletop RPG
Content: CYBERpunk, alternative futuristic
Shadowrun: Anarchy – doing, cyberpunk alternative futuristic character driven scenario driven tabletop rpg
Experiential: character driven, scenario driven
Mechanical: tabletop RPG
Content: cyberPUNK, alternative futuristic
Turn – being, slice of life character driven supernatural rural shapeshifters tabletop rpg
Experiential: character driven
Mechanical: roleplaying game
Content: supernatural, rural, shapeshifters
Tonal: slice of life
Wolfenstein The New Order – doing, fps drama/dramatic historical/period alternate universe punk, character driven video game
Experiential: character driven
Mechanical: first person shooter (FPS), video game
Content: drama, historical/period, alternate universe, punk
Tonal: dramatic
A collection of games can range widely based on how it was curated, because every game is so very different but has so much in common!
Genre Principles
These breakdowns might take a little while to fully make sense of, but here are the core principles.
Games have different genres than other media.
The experience of games influences the genre of a game.
Sometimes genre tags fit in multiple categories.
Different people will assign different meanings to different genre tags and categories.
Doing and being can be isolated or they can be combined, a number of games have a little bit of both, and their dominant way of playing can change how they are experienced, influencing genre.
Genre is a tool, but is not necessarily something everyone must use or understand. It is something, however, people can bend or break, adhere to or queer, without using or understanding it actively.
This is just the start of a longer conversation about how we use genre to apply a moral value to various games, or to belittle the quality without questioning of games. Wolfenstein is simply an FPS, but is one of the deepest games I’ve ever played. The only difference between Shadowrun 5e and Shadowrun Anarchy is the experience and where the emphasis is on cyberpunk but it makes two very different games. Turn is a combination of genre tags that don’t really have a place when they’re all combined, but it results in a unique play experience as a being game.
What is your game’s genre breakdown using this metric? Does it play like you’re doing or being? How do you feel about ignoring genre or exploring it more deeply? Respectfully discuss in the comments and elsewhere. I look forward to hearing your discussions!
What matters most is that we have fun in these games. And fun? Fun is its own genre!
I’m excited to announce that Script Change has experienced a significant update with three more tools and a new layout! You can find the new free text version at briebeau.com/scriptchange and the PDF plus the handouts are still free with option to donate at briebeau.itch.io/script-change. I have raised the suggested donation to $5 because of the sheer amount of time and effort I have put into Script Change over the years, and the continued creation of new content. I hope that’s okay!
In 2021, I’ve added Bloopers & Outtakes, a formal wrap meeting structure, the Editor’s Notes with picks, squicks, and icks to help guide content and response, and Two Thumbs Up to help with quiet check-ins and for less verbal players. These changes have been developing for a while, and I’m so excited to release them for you all!
Note: For the time being, please use the previous revision’s handout to put out descriptions on the table for reference, as I need more time to do the layout work and nothing’s changed on it. Also, in the new Bloopers & Outtakes section, I managed to only write “bloopers” on each Reel listing, but I’ll fix this soon if I can. I apologize for missing it!
Thank you so much for your continued support!
The Script Change RPG Toolbox Handout’s first page. Download the formatted version for free at briebeau.itch.io/script-change to get the full handout and these instructions in a printable format!The second page of handouts for Script Change.
Hey, friends, supporters, consumers, and colleagues. this one is a little important.
I hope the best came for you in major holidays for each culture and religion or lack thereof that came before this post, and the same wishes for you in the festivities (or lack thereof!) to come. Please stay safe in the continuance of COVID-19 and the many dangers all marginalized people face, and seek joy in every moment – even if it’s fleeting, it heals more than all the rest.
That being said, this is me. Beau Sheldon.
Me. 2020.
Content warnings for discussion of mental illness, physical disability, financial insecurity, gender identity, gender dysphoria, mention of hallucinations, mention of schizoaffective disorder, mentions of political and social issues in the United States, and details of creative dysfunction.
I recently attended Big Bad Con 2019 at the grace of many generous purchasers of a bundle that funded my attendance. Big Bad Con is my favorite con, and I’ve talked about it in the past on Thoughty with a lot of passion and enthusiasm, as well as interviewed the staff. It is a con that I truly feel has a caring ethic to their design, and I love being there a lot.
The Big Bad Con welcome pamplet’s Community Standards.
A brief personal note
This year I was traveling in the midst of some personal crises – at home, I found out mid-con my kitchen was mildly flooding, and the following week, I had a mild-but-anxiety-inducing medical procedure that had basically blocked my mind from functioning. On my flight in, I sustained a mild back injury that made my participation in the con limited. It was really frustrating, stressful, and I feel like I let a lot of people down by letting stress get to me and by not being able to keep my body going.
I am super grateful to everyone who supported me by helping me get medication and supplies to get through the pain I was in (shout out especially to Jeremy Tidwell, Lucian Kahn, and Vivian Paul!). I apologize that this con report isn’t Super Exciting and Full of Games! I was simply limited by my own realities, and it is a dreadful thing, to be sure.
Also big thanks to Anders Smith who managed to get me a gift when he wasn’t even here.
What I did
I arrived a day early on Wednesday and spent most of that day meeting new people and getting into my accommodations. We initially feared a power outage, which sent me into a tizzy, but it never happened. I still tried to be prepared, and in doing so, I spent a lot of time around the lobby keeping an ear out and seeing who arrived.
Some of the amazing people I had the chance to meet were Sangjun Park, creator of moonflower; Luke Wildwood; Sidney Icarus (who I hope to someday have guest write on Thoughty for approachable theory!); and after that it starts to get real busy. See, Big Bad Con this year did some amazing things – one of the biggest things is that, combining scholarships and the very vital Babble On Equity Project, they had guests from all around the world, including Australia, Korea, and Malaysia, and even had a guest from Trinidad, Brandon O’Brien, who I got to meet later that day. Brandon said some very kind things about Turn, especially about A.J.’s poetry. It made me so glad!
Later in the week, Big Bad Con also hosted the PoC (People of Color) dinner and meet & greet, focusing on supporting and connecting people of color in the gaming community. It was really awesome to see! I was lucky enough to meet a lot of amazing designers of color from outside of the U.S. and from inside the U.S. too. It was incredible to see such a presence at the con, to see so many people there who deserve to be heard and given opportunities, as well as allowed space to show the amazing work they do!
EVERYONE who got a scholarship, attended the PoC events as a person of color, or was supported by the Babble On Equity Project at Big Bad Con is rad as hell and their work is worth investing in.
HELP THEM THRIVE. Do not fail this whole class of designers and creators by dismissing them or ignoring them. Look them up, research them, hire them, pay them, buy their games and art, interview them, promote them, and when you do those things? Respect their identity and their backgrounds with care and generosity and do NOT let them down.
On Thursday, I co-hosted the Soda Pop Social with Meguey Baker and it was a great success! We had a really good turnout and lots of people were super enthusiastic for the sodas we’d selected. I again had a lot of comments from people grateful for a welcoming space for non-alcoholic networking that was still fun and had recognizable people to meet and get to know, so that was great! I love the social, even though it keeps me moving for a couple hours without significant breaks, because I get to kind of be one of the first faces to welcome people and to share something fun and lighthearted with them!
So many sodas! This wasn’t even the ones in the fridge!
I also did my first Ranger shift! I volunteered at the con this year to cover my badge and my shifts were both at the Tell Me About Your Character Booth, which is really cool! I got to listen to people talk about their cool characters they’ve played and see the resident artist at the booth draw a portrait for the guest, and donations for the booth went to Doctors without Borders! It was really great. I did provide feedback to the con about improving the accessibility for those of us who have to be seated for our shifts, and for guests who need to sit. We worked out some more comfortable arrangements on my shift the next day, too, so it was good overall! I’m hoping if I volunteer again I get to do the booth and, if I’m lucky, do the booth with one of my artist partners so I can listen and they can draw!
Friday, I did the Terror in Design panel with Meguey Baker, Whitney “Strix” Beltrán, Misha Bushyager, and James Mendez Hodes, moderated by Rachel Bell. It was a fantastic panel, and some notes were taken by a guest and can be found here. We discussed a lot of things, especially consent, boundaries, how consent and boundaries can make horror more interesting, creating ambiance through design, where we find horror, and so so much more. It was a really interesting panel!
I actually really dig horror and I don’t talk about it as much as I’d like to because I’m also incredibly picky about horror, and have a lot of triggers, squicks, and general issues to watch out for. For example, on the flight home I watched the Hulu In The Dark film New Year, New You and got through the film with few issues because it’s altogether not too trauma-heavy for me, except for the references to suicide. But I watched In The Tall Grass on Netflix tonight and had to look away or distract myself multiple times because there was a pregnancy as a major focus of the fiction and horror. As I have tokophobia, that’s a no-no. It’s tricky, that lizard brain.
Big Bad Con actually has Script Change as one of their recommended safety tools!
I also did a second shift at the Tell Me About Your Character Booth on Friday, a little more successful this time around. 🙂
By the time Saturday ran around, I was 100% burnt out. I’d been dealing with a lot of emotional stress, so after a lot of weaseling around I elected to drop out of two games I’d been dying to play – Lucian Kahn’s Visigoths vs Mall Goths and Kieron Gillan’s DIE. But, I was in no state to play. So I just visited people most of the day, getting to hang out with a ton of people and talk about games and the industry!
The only actual game I played over the course of the weekend was a portion of a game in progress by LiteralSoup, who is great. It’s a mech game, and gave me the mech name of Challenging Hope, which sounds about right! I thought it was super cool, and I really enjoyed hearing of other people’s mech names – if you played Soup’s game, please tell me your mech name! I want to know! We need to cancel the apocalypse together! <3
All throughout the weekend people were stopping to have me sign Turn or Script Change for them, which was amazing! I loved that so much – I loved being able to sign books for the first time really and it meant so so much to me. I really appreciated everyone’s enthusiasm for the book and for Script Change! I’ve worked hard on my projects and it means a lot to see people show love for them. <3
Did I mention I got a copy of Undying from Paul Riddle and DIDN’T have him sign it? *headdesk*
Late in the night I went to the Big Queer Dance Party hosted by Jackson Tegu, which was super fantastic! While I don’t dance much anymore, I really enjoy attending the dance party and listening to music. I was hugely impressed by the workshopping on consent, communication, and care that Jackson (assisted by Anne Ratchat) provided to help people ask each other to dance, accept rejection, provide rejection, and be comfortable in the space. It was so amazing, and I love that Big Bad Con allows space for events like these!
Many people who attend USian gaming conventions might not have had the kind of access to places to dance and be comfortable in their body that people from other subcultures or even just cultures in general might have had, and there’s also a huge number of queer people at the con who are given a space to express themselves. I wouldn’t be surprised if a number of games or mechanics were thought up just in those flashing lights on the dance floor as we all listened to music. Goodness knows I thought of some!
I stayed up ungodly late talking to a fantastic person (Soup) then got up earlier than I wanted and flew home on Sunday.
Not before I grabbed a copy of Vivian Paul’s Elder Song…and also forgot to have her sign it.
Some thoughts
I’ve been reflecting on Twitter about a lot of things since then, including a thread about how I learned to “hold court” at cons and how it keeps me from spending the whole con sitting by myself. I really enjoyed the con, but as I told many people there, I have a lot of challenges with conventions. They’re quite expensive, it’s hard for me to travel alone, if I get injured or ill it’s a whole mess, and I struggle to keep up with everything – plus I often feel out of place or alone.
I’m putting these facts out to the world because I want to be honest, and also so others don’t feel alone if they feel the same way. These things we do as professionals or as hobbyists to be connected with our community and our industry can be very challenging for us in a lot of ways, and flying thousands of miles to feel left out and discouraged and not good enough is hard. It’s scary and makes you feel like the world is ending. And like, there’s no real good fix for it!
I keep trying to remember the good moments of the con, like this, even though my finishing move makes no sense because I don’t know grammar terms apparently.
I want to say something that fixes it. I want to say that I will wake up in a few hours (as it’s already 4am) and feel refreshed, and like going to Big Bad Con was a wonderful, flawless experience. But it wasn’t. There’s weird industry baggage – I’ve been working long enough to have that. There’s annoying health stuff – I’m old enough and disabled enough to have that. There’s stressful home stuff – I’m old enough and low class enough to have that. There were challenges at the con with accessibility (some solved, some not), and challenges with travel with accessibility.
There were so many things I loved about the con! But I do wish I had gotten to play more games so I had more to report to you, my readers, and I wish I had more to say to you than this: there are so many amazing games on the horizon and already HERE that I can’t even handle it, and I also do not know what my capacity truly is for the situation I am in. I want to be bring you the interviews and theory you want, I want to design you games you enjoy. But I may not always be as speedy as I once was, and Big Bad Con this year showed me that.
You could say, really, that… this con hit me a little differently.
I have an interview today with AdamD from Game to Grow about Critical Core, which is currently in preorder! It sounded like such a fascinating project focused on helping autistic gamers! Check out Adam’s responses below!
—
Tell
me about Critical Core. What excites you about it?
Critical
Core is a starter set for therapeutic tabletop role-playing games. We’ve been
using games to help kids and teens build social skills for around 8 years now,
and have always wanted to reach a larger audience of people than we can reach
directly in the greater Seattle Area. At Game to Grow we’ve been saying for
years that we think the world would be a better place if everyone played more
games together. This is our opportunity to get a game into more homes,
hospitals, schools, clinics and libraries around the world.
What are the backgrounds like for
the various people working on Game To Grow? What motivated you to apply it to
games?
Adam Johns is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I (Adam Davis) have a masters in education with a specialization in Drama Therapy. We met in grad school at Antioch University Seattle and started working together running drop in groups using Dungeons and Dragons with socially isolated youth. As we ran the groups we realized the potential that the game has as an intentional intervention for building social competence. We created Wheelhouse Workshop, a for-profit company, in 2013 dedicated to using RPGs to build social skills. After several years of running groups and serving the local community, they formed Game to Grow in 2017 to continue to expand on the use of games to help people learn, grow, and change.
Game to Grow was formed as a nonprofit to reach a larger audience to help with a wider range of challenges. Another member of the development team is Virginia Spielmann, who is a British-trained Occupational Therapist with more than 20 years experience working in pediatrics. Virginia is a specialist in the DIR Floortime™ framework of developmental intervention. Virginia approached us with the Critical Core project as a collaboration with the ad agency Mcgarrybowen Hong Kong, who sought to use their creative talent in design and project management to serve the autistic community in Hong Kong with an innovative idea. Critical Core was born from this international collaboration.
How does the starter kit work and
what is included in it?
The starter kit contains three main
components: the rules and materials for a simplified and easy-to-play
role-playing game, a facilitator’s guide with the best-practices we have
developed over the near decade of experience we have running groups and using
this method to help clients, and adventure modules in which the in-game
scenarios are targeted developmentally to real-world areas of social growth.
The goal is for new game masters to be able to pick up the starter set and learn a simple game they can use to help and connect with their family, students, clients, or community. They can use the modules and facilitator’s guide to improve the outcomes of their game and provide some support for kids, whether they’re on the autism spectrum or not. Experienced game masters will be able to apply the wisdom in the facilitator’s guide and adventure modules to other game systems and use the games they already know and love to help their community. Trained therapists, educators, and other community support will have a new tool in their repertoire to help their community in a way that is, fun, safe, and enriching.
How do you approach accessibility for
those with disabilities like blindness, or who have mobility issues?
Our approach to accessibility is that, as our colleague
Mike Fields said during a presentation: ”An impairment is only a disability
when there is no accommodation.”
We also recognize that every individual is different
and may need a different level of modification or accommodation for them to
fully participate. The key element to
accessibility is open dialogue around what a participant needs and how we can
help. There
are obvious ways we can improve accessibility, i.e., by making sure paths are
clear for wheelchairs and walkers, or by providing braille dice, though it is
impossible to be 100% prepared for everything so we must be open to
conversation about how we can make sure our table has a place for everyone.
How do these starter kits work for people who aren’t
experienced professionals, based on your testing?
We’re still developing the kit to make it the best it can be to professionals with less experience using RPGs to help. Our “official” beta-testing with Critical Core kits hasn’t begun, though in the trainings we’ve conducted over the years using the wisdom and best practices that will go into the facilitators guide, we’ve seen the largest area of growth is making sure that the professionals new to facilitating RPGs for growth remember that they are also a player, and that SO MUCH of the power in the work comes from relationships and play. So we’ll make sure that the kits have a clear outline of the game structure, but also explain in depth how to use the game to maximum impact. Not just the what, but the why and the how. Much of that will be in the facilitator’s guide included in the Critical Core box.
