Like many in my generation, I saw Fight Club (1999, dir. David Fincher) as an impressionable teen growing up in an era where terms like “toxic masculinity” were becoming increasingly common. I grew up in a supremacy culture – white supremacy impacts rural, insular communities deeply, and men were and are still the most privileged, particularly white men. Evangelical Christianity was the majority and the most influential of religions – to the exclusion of most others – in the Pennsylvanian towns I grew up in, and that culture likewise elevated largely white men. But, the internet and major media had given voice to rising progressive and feminist perspectives.
Fight Club itself would likely never be included in progressive media as something of value, while the original book by Chuck Palahniuk may have more to say than the film. I haven’t been able to read the book for reasons related to this writing, and while I have seen the movie several times since my original viewing, it is harder every time. The hypermasculine violence is visceral and distressing, yes, and complex misogyny by The Narrator and other characters towards Marla, the only woman featured in the film and (to my knowledge) book, is always unpleasant. As someone who considers their religious upbringing cult-like, the indoctrination is also challenging. However, my reasons for a lengthy love/hate relationship with Fight Club are more than that.
This weekend I finally had the opportunity to have the photoshoot I have dreamed of for some time, which included a couple of important logistical issues – like finding a place to dig a shallow grave, and arranging a time in near-winter where it wasn’t too cold to lie in it.
In this photoshoot, I’m styled in cowboy inspired clothes much like I wore as a kid equestrian, but styled up a little to my modern tastes. There’s a little bit of a narrative to the photos, so I hope you enjoy it!
The photography in this shoot is by John W. Sheldon, and myself and Jennifer Hill (a.k.a. Jaydot from Shop Jaydot) are the models. The shoot was conceived by me, styled largely by me, and planned by me and John. It is extremely meaningful to me, and I am super grateful I was able to experience it. This may be highly pretentious, but it is very special!
I know this has been slow to arrive, but life is life and death is death, and there’s been a lot of both of those for me to cope with, among other things. This is the third installment of my A New Masculinity series, focusing on gender and identity in video games, specifically through the lens of Wolfenstein: The New Order. In this series, I focus on The New Order, and in this post, I’ll talk specifically about the women in that game.
I know this has been slow to arrive, but life is life and death is death, and there’s been a lot of both of those for me to cope with, among other things. This is the third installment of my A New Masculinity series, focusing on gender and identity in video games, specifically through the lens of Wolfenstein: The New Order. In this series, I focus on The New Order, and in this post, I’ll talk specifically about the women in that game. This will be a slightly shorter post due to there only being three characters in The New Order who are truly highlighted.
This post will contain SPOILERS for Wolfenstein: The New Order and potentially SPOILERS for Wolfenstein: A New Colossus or Youngblood. Read with this in mind.
Content Warnings: Nazis, white supremacy, trauma, physical violence, disability trauma, ableism, sex, sexual content, fascism, homophobia.
The women of Wolfenstein are really amazing, even though they are less represented than men in the game. There is a lot to be said for how the game presents women as leaders, decision-makers, and powerful individuals even if they aren’t formally recognized by any organization or power. The further installments of Wolfenstein continue to develop this, but I want to focus just on The New Order because I think that some of what is explored in The New Colossus and onward is far beyond my ability to address – and I hope that someday I can invite other creators to talk about those topics.
While I will talk about Anya Oliwa and Caroline Becker alongside Irene Engel, I want to be clear that I do not, and this blog does not, support Nazism, white supremacy, racism, ableism, or any bigoted ideology or cruelty perpetuated by Irene Engel or the types of real life individuals she represents. Engel is not an aspirational character, and while I will discuss her traits honestly, that does not mean I endorse her or her beliefs or any like them in real life.
I want to talk about so many things in the realm of Wolfenstein and how it portrays masculine characters, but I want to talk first about the characters themselves. We’ve addressed how Wolfenstein: The New Order talks about masculinity through the main character William “B.J.” Blazkowicz, and how it functions in genre. Now I want to address some of the other characters that are in the game and how they are presented (I may not address all your faves, sorry).
This is part of a series on masculinity and the game Wolfenstein: A New Order. The series focuses exclusively on Wolfenstein: A New Order and the characters within it, though it does reference the backstories of characters that may not be revealed until later games in that series. Much of the specific details here were sourced in the Wolfenstein Wiki.
SPOILERS for Wolfenstein: The New Order and elements of Wolfenstein: The New Colossus.
I want to talk about so many things in the realm of Wolfenstein and how it portrays masculine characters, but I want to talk first about the characters themselves. We’ve addressed how Wolfenstein: The New Order talks about masculinity through the main character William “B.J.” Blazkowicz, and how it functions in genre. Now I want to address some of the other characters that are in the game and how they are presented (I may not address all your faves, sorry). I also played the Wyatt timeline, one of the most vital decisions in the game, so I won’t address Fergus or his timeline much (playing thru again hasn’t been possible with my cognitive issues). I’ll likely address characters like Caroline, Frau Engel, and Anya in a separate article, because that’s a very different matter.
Note: I may not discuss Sigrun, Frau Engel’s daughter, from The New Colossus in detail due to how her experiences are related to my own trauma, and since she is from a later game. We’ll see!
First up, we’ll address the Resistance. Note that I don’t think that these characters are without flaws, but I want to appreciate their good characteristics.
Max Hass from Wolfenstein: The New Order. Image from user joumur on Steam.
I want to talk about Max Hass with a desperation. Max is a pacifist, and was born with a brain injury and abandoned as a child. I love Max for a lot of reasons, but I will note that he experiences the stereotype of many mentally disabled folks in that he is physically minimally vulnerable, very strong, and speaks simplistically – only saying his name. This portrayal is obviously from a challenging perspective and can be harmful. However, the character is well-loved, heroic, shown to be mostly capable except for his own traumatic responses, and while he is shown to be childlike, he is distinctly masculine in his presentation.
Max is flawed in his presentation in regards to ability, though he is definitely fitting a trope. But he’s portrayed as a masculine character in a youthful way, which is something we rarely see in war games. Childlike natures are often presented as juvenile, rather than something understandable that people respect and support, like when B.J. helps recover Max’s lost toys as part of an achievement and story thread. Max Hass is an example of a character that could have been done better, but to me his inclusion was valuable – it’s okay to be disabled, to perhaps be childlike, regardless of the reasons behind those things. You can still be loved, still be a boy at heart. These are things we often strip from disabled masculine people, so it mattered to me.
Next to Max, we don’t go so far to find Klaus Kreutz, who is the one who recovered Max from behind a dumpster after losing his own disabled child to the Nazis eugenics. He was originally a Nazi soldier, and after losing his son and his wife in a tragic encounter, grew to deeply hate the Nazis and their ideology. He turned against the Nazis and became a member of the Resistance, and while he encountered initial conflict with B.J., they eventually become colleagues that respect each other. This encounter is shown in The New Order, and is important because in many instances, we frame Nazis or fascists as not real men or even men who change sides as not real men because they’re disloyal or because Real Men don’t do violence, and this is a flawed and messed up concept. In the game, they don’t portray the situation as such, instead focusing on the Nazi atrocities and whether Klaus might harbor any Nazi beliefs.
Klaus is shown as caring, and loving towards Max. He is without a doubt portrayed as a masculine character with a past of violence, but now he instead cares for Max as if he was his own child, and doesn’t question giving his life for the resistance. He embodies heroic qualities and paternal qualities we associate with adoptive fathers. Doing this to someone who left Nazi service and showing that people can change is a vital element of the storytelling in The New Order.
Wyatt from Wolfenstein: The New Order. Image from user Joey Stick on Steam.
The flip of the coin is Probst Wyatt II, a dedicated and initially idealistic soldier who served alongside B.J. and in one timeline of the game, he is the character saved from the terrifying Deathshead, a villain who tortures the characters quite horrifically. Wyatt experiences post-traumatic stress disorder from the war and depression after the suicide of his mother. He is one of the few genuine portrayals of mental illness in a masculine character I’ve seen in AAA games where the illness is recognized and respected. Wyatt is given space to struggle through his illnesses and not forced to participate in further war, and granted space within the Resistance compound to recover and rest.
I cannot describe how much Wyatt’s story impacted me. I am so very used to seeing symptoms of mental illness hidden in games, washed over or described as supernatural or unreal. They’re often shamed, or dismissed as unmanly or unmasculine and masculine people who struggle with mental illness are emasculated and lose their agency. They’re shamed if they take space to deal with or struggle with their trauma. How many moments ask you to “Man Up”? Doesn’t Wolfenstein itself use a frankly shitty difficulty level imagery with B.J. in baby clothes if you choose the easier difficulty? (Don’t think I’ve forgotten it, I think about it every day.) Wyatt’s struggle is vital and important, and the way the rest of the characters treat it is even more important for any type of character, but definitely a masculine one.
Note: From what I know, Wyatt copes with addiction in an attempt to help his illness in The New Colossus, but does recover after some challenges. I think this is also an important story, and hope to play through it someday.
J, one of my favorite characters, is one of the few Black characters featured in The New Order (aside from Bombate, who I adore) and is the survivor of a hate crime by United States white supremacists. He is a guitarist and initially, as mentioned in the previous article, finds conflict with B.J. because he tells B.J. that in the U.S., white people (and implicitly, I think, the military) were the Nazis. J is so important to the story that it disappoints me not all players might fully engage with his story and his scenes, since they aren’t mandatory, but he opens B.J.’s mind literally and figuratively by playing music and giving B.J. drugs that cause him to hallucinate, but also reflect on his thoughts about Black Americans and about the role of white U.S. citizens in the oppression of Black people. It’s a beautiful scene.
J from Wolfenstein: The New Order. Image from user eg0rikTM on Steam.
J himself is portrayed in many ways like Jimi Hendrix, who he appears to be based on – natural hair, colorful clothing styled like 60s and 70s funk fashion (as much as can be managed in the war). He does not fit the white concept of masculinity, and that’s important. He could be seen by some to be flamboyant, but instead he is presented as expressing himself. He could have been presented as hyper masculine and robust in a racist stereotype, but instead he is thin, scarred, but still resilient. I could say a lot more about J, but I would want to hear more from Black players on his masculine portrayal, and on that of Bombate.
Bombate is a Resistance fighter and I know that in The New Colossus he is portrayed somewhat as a womanizer, cheating on one character with another. However, in The New Order, he’s steadfast and tells stories of his experiences at the hands of the Nazis. Bombate traveled north from his home in Southwest Africa (Namibia) to face the Nazis head on, and after two years was put into a forced labor camp. He has been through immense trauma, but it never once is designed in The New Order for you to feel any disrespect for him for the way he processes that trauma or to see him as anything other than heroic.
He is framed as masculine, and is not dismissed as a threat to the Nazis. Bombate is an immediate powerful ally for the player as B.J., respected and trusted. It is refreshing to see a character presented so simply as someone just and who did the right thing, even if they suffered, and not have the whole story be how they are now weak because of their trauma (but not presenting them as unrealistically powerful, either). Especially for masculine characters, I feel like this is underrepresented.
This video on Whiteness and Judaism in Wolfenstein does a much better job than I could discussing the subject.
The final Resistance character I want to address is Set Roth. Set is one of the only Jewish characters we interact with, aside from B.J., and the highest profile masculine Jewish character whose identity is relevant. While there are absolutely concerns about the portrayal of Judaism in Wolfenstein, I was happy to see a Jewish character at all since past games kind of blurred over that beyond the main character (whose identity wasn’t really addressed). As far as masculinity goes, Set is presented as an elderly man, but still virile, still brilliant, and would by many be stereotyped as a wise old man (never failing to lose that vibe of men-are-smarter-than-women). However, he works alongside Caroline as an equal, and never once places value on masculinity of himself or others over that of the mission or the women in the game.
Set is unusual in that his gender and presentation is not so overt and this may be a case of how we tend to de-gender or minimalize the genders or presentation of people who aren’t the standard issue white person, but it also may be related to the fact that he is older and we desexualize and de-gender the elderly in a similar way we do some young children. However, as I have limited exposure to masculine Jewish culture, I could also be witnessing my own bias in action – and this is something I would love to hear more Jewish perspectives on. I am far from an expert, I’m just sharing what I experience and witness.
And now, a note on the other side of the conflict. We won’t dwell long on them, for obvious reasons. Note that none of my allowances for the possibilities of characters having trauma or reasons for their actions means that I excuse their actions or that I think anything they do is okay. Just for clarity! There are absolutely more masculine characters in the Nazi side, but I don’t want to give too much attention to them – they are mostly hypermasculine, toxic, and cruel characters.
We’re not sharing pictures of Nazis here. Take a breath, let’s get through this together. Image from user joumur on Steam.
Hans “Bubi” Winkleis the 15+ years junior companion of Frau Engel. His presentation is harder to address, because at first you might think that he was effeminate as a way to mock the unmanliness of Nazis or frame them as subservient to women, making women the enemy. But this… did not play out for me in the end. Hans (I refer to him by his name, not what he’s called by Engel) is absolutely a villain. He is absolutely a masculine character, but frankly he’s not the kind of masculine United States citizens are used to. German masculinity, from what I’ve witnessed being there and knowing a number of Germans, is not the same as U.S. masculinity. Hans is still within the range of masculinity in his dress, many of his mannerisms, and even his toxic masculinity of killing for the woman he loves. Engel is his “everything,” and for that, he wells with cruelty and indulges her atrocious acts.
It is important not to forget the masculine characters who are not what we stereotype as masculine. It’s important to address toxicity and the cultural context of the characters we see in media, regardless of whether it sounds good. The relationship between Frau Engel and Hans is toxic, especially when you factor in her abusive nature to her own family, and Frau Engel’s own favoring of time-typical masculine behaviors and dress, and masculine people over feminine people in her life. You note in the game that Hans plays up his ditzy boytoy attitude when around Engel, but becomes more brutal and masculine when apart from her. Hans stays in his position of power by following her rule, which is his failing as a human as much as it is clearly a method of survival. He is the passionately loyal lover and companion – willing to do anything to maintain his status, especially since his past life as an unsuccessful prison guard would never be worth going back to in comparison.
Wilhelm Strasse, a.k.a. Deathshead, the initial villain of the game, is a polar opposite of Hans. He’s immensely powerful, and while he does fall in the end thanks to B.J., he’s held up as the epitome of Nazi brilliance and cruelty. However, it becomes very obvious throughout play that his eugenics and white supremacy (and male supremacy, if his cadre is any indication) is flawed. The dog brains he puts in robots still maintain habits of regular dogs, his creations suffer in pain, and his pride is what leads to his fall.
He is absolutely portrayed as a masculine character in the same way that other Nazi generals and authorities have been portrayed in propaganda, like the doctors who performed atrocities. Their maleness, their masculine nature, is supposed to be what makes them so brilliant, so dispassionate and willing to be cruel and cold in the pursuit of science. It is a vile concept, but it is clear in the game that the Resistance and those opposing the obviously villainous Nazis don’t buy it. He is a villain in part because of this perverted toxic ideal of pristine and perfect masculinity. Instead, the characters embrace the imperfect masculinity of characters like Max, J, and B.J.
That’s part two of this detailed series on how masculinity is designed in Wolfenstein: The New Order. Design includes how characters are written, how they interact, and how they are presented, beyond the mechanics or rules in the game. I hope to explore more of this topic in future installations of this series, and I appreciate your time as I pick apart my feelings on the game. Please consider supporting me occasionally or monthly on ko-fi.com/thoughty as I do more posts like this!
I spent a lot of time thinking about the middle name I wanted after I decided to depart from my birth name fully when it came to my legal name, and it got me thinking about Wolfenstein: The New Order…Real people should not be punished with the weight of anyone’s ideals as their expectation…
Buckle in folks, it’s a long one, and the start of a series! This one is personal AND professional, pursuing an understanding of some complex theory and experiences. I am excited for it, so please join me in that excitement!
Content Warnings for this and the following posts, adding new ones as necessary and bolding the relevant ones for today: gender identity, gender dysphoria, disability, mental illness, Nazis, childhood trauma, physical trauma, death, war,violence,hate crimes (mentioned), racism (mentioned), anti-Semitism, domestic abuse (spousal & parent/child), animal harm (mention), legal struggles for trans persons, social isolation.
2016 feels like a lifetime ago, with a lot learned and lost in the process. I found some light in B.J. Blazkowicz. Where is yours?
For the longest time, I thought I’d keep my birth name nickname as part of my legal name. While my full legal name has forever been a bane to me, I have seen myself for a long time as The Brie. But that’s it, right? The Brie. It’s a title, not a name that suits me, or that represents who I am. It represents some of what I create, but I am not Brie. I’m Beau.
Brie Beau Sheldon. Still The Brie, still Brie Beau in creation, but not Brie.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the middle name I wanted after I decided to depart from my birth name fully when it came to my legal name, and it got me thinking about Wolfenstein: The New Order. How the designers at Machine Games remade William “B.J.” Joseph Blazkowicz had a huge impact on me, and I had one more element: I wanted my initials to be B.J.
I came out in 2016 while I was playing The New Order off and on. I loved the game passionately, and it was mostly because of B.J. (For the purposes of this post and those related to it, we’ll stick with The New Order. The New Colossus has a lot more to dig into, and I’m not ready for it – and I don’t have a new body on the way, either.)
B.J. started out in games as a one-dimensional angry Nazi killing white guy. He finishes The New Order as a poetic Jewish man in love with the woman who helped him recover from a severe injury and gave his life for his belief that everyone deserves to be free who lets other people be free. That’s quite a turnaround.
I was struggling, I suppose, for people who represented what I saw in masculinity. While I am nonbinary, I don’t struggle as much with expressing and representing that part of my identity because of its flexibility. Masculinity is more of a challenge, but is just as important. In real life, I have quite a few men and nonbinary masc people that I respect massively and appreciate for their masculinity. But, I learned a long time ago not to base my ideals on real people – real people should not be punished with the weight of anyone’s ideals as their expectation, and that’s what happens. So I was hunting.
I was also hurting. I felt so left out of the community, I had entered two new jobs where I felt alienated and afraid, I had started a Master’s program where I was weird and strange to everyone I met, and I was still struggling with my mental and physical health, as well as various life stuff. I needed someone to restore my faith in me, in what I believed, even if it was fictional – to me, that it could be conceived by others was enough.
As I played the game, I realized slowly that B.J. was the masculinity I see. He is a flawed man, but he is also a man who has been harmed (in some ways, he reflects his original creator (domestic abuse & chronic illness warning)- strange after all these years!). No one is perfect, and he does not subscribe to the idea that the decisions need to be made by or controlled by cis straight white men. His leaders are women and disabled women. He defers to his wife Anya after they escape from his hospice and get married, her leading the way in the bedroom and also being his guiding light in the field. Caroline, a brilliant leader and amputee with a prosthetic, is his most trusted colleague and the person who is in charge of his life.
In his interactions with J, the Black guitarist who survived a U.S. Nazi attack, he works to overcome the ingrained racism he was raised with. He works side by side with disabled veterans and civilians, people of all ages and backgrounds, and even reformed Nazis. While yes, B.J. may initiate a first interaction with someone who violates his worldview in a shitty way, he apologizes, he backs down, he defers to the marginalized, and he tries to change.
B.J. and J meet with a harsh conflict, but bond when B.J. accepts J’s offer to open his mind and his perspective changes. I recommend not watching past the three minute mark, as things get dark but loud for J at the hands of the villains. Video sourced throughSnackPackedd’s YouTube.
And yes, I will be frank – B.J.’s poetic waxing in my noise-cancelling earbuds wooed me to a degree, and I do think he’s a huge hunk of himbo. But when I cried at the end of The New Order, it was not just because the story itself ended. It’s because my time with B.J. had ended, this space of time where a man who does great violence because violence is called for and because he is the right one to do it awkwardly looks like a puppy when his wife kisses him, and overcomes some extreme suffering at the hands of many different people.
He does harm to himself to rip away the marks of Nazism, and takes acid with J to see a new reality, and makes the hard decisions, and dies and lives and breathes freedom and hope. B.J. feels ultra-masculine because he does violence and he speaks harshly, but in reality he is soft and he hurts and fears but keeps going as that ultra-masculine presentation because he is the right one to do it.
To me, we represent the best masculinity not so differently from femininity, aside from weird invisible things I can’t explain. It’s the kind of guy who if you ask him, he will beat down every bully that’s ever threatened you, no matter how big or endless, but he would be so much happier to lay back on green grass while a dog or his kids bound around him and wait for his lover to say “Please do” before he does. That’s B.J. We got that from Blazko, the person who looked like an angry Lego® Man was his avatar.
I want to examine this in more detail as time passes, with a series of posts, talking about gender, game design, and much more. I will be clear: I do not think B.J. is a perfect person in any incarnation. I don’t think The New Order is perfect, either. But I think there’s a lot of richness there, and I think it’s important to break things down when they latch onto my heart. I hope you’ll join me as I dig deep and try to share ideas for tabletop and video game design both by looking at what The New Order, and B.J., do right and wrong.
I did find a middle name, by the way. It’s Jágr, which is a Czech name in honor of my commitment to Thomas, who blushes sometimes when I say sweet things to him, and pronounced like Jaeger, because it’s the Czech version of Jaeger and Jaeger means hunter. I think it’s undeniable that just like B.J., I am a hunter and always have been – of love, of hope, of joy, of answers, of freedom, and of those who seek to take freedom away.
I’ve pressed submit on the request to have my name change prepared by a legal professional 15 minutes ago. It’s going to be expensive ($160 for legal help, $160 for the courts, ~$200+ for putting my name in the papers for protest), but I can’t wait to be realized as myself.
B.J. was 32 at the beginning of the first story told in games. I turn 33 in two months. It’s time for a change, and some growth. I have so much hunting to do.
Hey, friends, supporters, consumers, and colleagues. this one is a little important.
I hope the best came for you in major holidays for each culture and religion or lack thereof that came before this post, and the same wishes for you in the festivities (or lack thereof!) to come. Please stay safe in the continuance of COVID-19 and the many dangers all marginalized people face, and seek joy in every moment – even if it’s fleeting, it heals more than all the rest.
That being said, this is me. Beau Sheldon.
Me. 2020.
Content warnings for discussion of mental illness, physical disability, financial insecurity, gender identity, gender dysphoria, mention of hallucinations, mention of schizoaffective disorder, mentions of political and social issues in the United States, and details of creative dysfunction.
Tell me a little about Princess World. What excites you about it?
Princess World, “A Game of Girls who Rule” is a Powered by the Apocalypse role-playing game about playing diverse Princesses from varied realms who are trying to work together, despite their differences, to address problems in their world. The most exciting thing about the game is that it was inspired by my daughter, she literally pitched it to me when she was three-and-a-half (She’s six now) and she’s been a great help in generating ideas and concepts for the game. Princess World is designed to be accessible and engaging to new players, particularly younger ones, and deals a lot with the power and meanings of words, and how phrases can be reinterpreted in different ways. Every character in the game is defined by four essential Truths, which are short narrative phrases; when players start to grasp how to use these Truths to expand the narrative power of their characters in the game, using them as springboards for their imagination. Seeing a player’s eyes light up when they think of a new way to use a Truth makes the whole game worthwhile for me.
The Truths on the character playbooks.
I’m super curious about the Truths! What are the four Truths and how are they presented to players?
Truths are probably my favorite part of Princess World! Truths are the “powers and abilities” of each Princess, like if you’d list four special things a character in a story or book are good at or known for. Each archetype/playbook has a unique list of four Truths that the player must express about their character. Some are extrinsic to the character, like equipment or things and some are intrinsic to the character, like experiences or legacies, and some purposely blur the line, so that the player can decide.
These Truths are narrative statements, not just descriptive, that give the character options and abilities others probably don’t have access to. For example, a Fairy Princess’s player wouldn’t just say, “I have green hair.” There’s not much they can do with that in a story; it’s mainly just description. If, instead, they said, “My hair consists of the intertwined flowers of Spring.”, then we can think about all the various narrative ideas and options we can unpack from that. Maybe they can use the scent of their hair to calm others, or maybe they can cause other plants to thrive, or maybe they can call on powers of growth and renewal. We’d play to find out the creative options the player could come up with, based on that Truth.
Truths are usually written in the character’s favorite color, unless they’ve been deemed to be Unpleasant, in which case, they’re usually written in black. Before a player writes down a Truth, they express it to the table of players first, and the other players judge the Pleasantness or Unpleasantness of that Truth, before the player writes it down. Being Unpleasant, just means that the other players can immediately see how said Truth has the potential to cause problems for the character, though they could be bad or dangerous as well, but the player can still call on them!
If a Truth is judged to be Unpleasant, the player has the option to accept that trouble or to rephrase the Truth in a way to address any concerns. Most players seem to enjoy having potential trouble brewing for their characters as it can lead to interesting stories.
The Truths can be as direct or as flowery as the player desires, but they’re usually a single sentence. For example, there was a Skateboard Princess who expressed this: “I can’t digest normal food, I eat batteries.” and the table of players was astonished and intrigued. The player went on to explain, “I’m a robot!” Now, they could’ve just expressed the Truth as “I’m a robot.”, but the whole “I eat batteries.” was thought of something more in line with what one would read in a story about a robotic Skateboard Princesses!
As a nonbinary creator, I’d be lax if I didn’t think of kiddos like me – is there space for nonbinary or masculine players or characters in this world, or is it strictly about embracing the feminine “girl” power and identity? How are you framing gender identity for the princesses, with this answer in mind? By this I mean, are there princesses with different body types and presentations like in She-Ra?
I think it’s going to be very tough to overcome the assumption
that “princess means girl” in Western culture, but that is not an
assumption I make in Princess World; we say “Anyone can be a
Princess.” I lean more towards my daughter’s interpretation of
princess which is “Someone who is capable and competent, and also pretty
cool.” Some of the playbooks lean towards the feminine side, for
certain values of feminine, such as the Proper or Fairy Princess, but the
player of such characters is not bound by that at all! There are
self-defining Skateboard Princeses, rough and tumble Warrior Princesses, and
characters that are free to blur the lines in any way the players wish, like
the Shadow or Pauper Princess. In the actual text I tend to lean towards
female (she/her) or gender inclusive (they/them) pronouns unless I’m talking
about a specific character or person who has specified their pronouns.
For the player, if the gender of their character is
important to them, they can work to include it in the Truths about their
character; if it less of a factor in their interest in the character, it can be
included in their descriptive details. In actual play, their have been
girl, boy, neither, amalgamated, changing, and artificially gendered
Princesses. It’s my goal that players can make character that reflect
their desires and interests in what is cool or exciting. Variations in
age, body shape, gender, orientation, and even species have all occurred in
actual play of Princess World. For me, it’s really exciting to see the
fantastic directions players take their character creation in, thinking both
inside and outside the box of the archetype they’ve picked. The new
She-Ra cartoon has definitely been a touch stone.
With all that being said, there is, in very early development, a playbook that is specifically called the Boy Princess; my daughter wanted that included (she generated the seed ideas for fourteen of the sixteen playbooks we’re working on) and I’m excited to see how players will interpret and expand on that concept!
The character portrait is very important!
Awesome! The Boy Princess sounds my style. Speaking of style, I see that you’re using a system Powered by the Apocalypse. What led you to choose this system, and how have you modified it to suit your unique needs?
Well, I really fell in love with Apocalypse World when I was first introduced to it; it really mapped to my style of facilitating games and gave me words and structures to actually explain what I was doing. Also, it allowed for a very low level of pre-game preparation, something I’m really liking as I have less time to game. I feel that the PbtA approach worked really well for being a Weaver, what we call the “game master” in Princess World, as we stress that they are there to help the other players tell a story about their characters, not a story the Weaver makes up to put the princesses through; that collaboration between all the players, collectively creating the fiction of the narrative is what I find most satisfying in playing PbtA games.
For Princess
World, I narrowed things down to four basic moves; all of which are ways of
dealing with obstacles or problems that the characters face. Essentially: order
things to do what you want, try to change their minds, evade things, fight
things; they seem to cover all the ground I want for the players to explore
when making choices for their characters. There’s a single auxiliary move
that is dependent on how connected a Princess is to another Princess, using a
currency we call Threads, which are statements about the characters’
relationships, written down on strips of paper and handed out to other
players. As well, every Princess has a special knowledge move that
reflect their unique perspective on Princess World, though other Princesses can
use their Threads to tap into another Princess’s way of looking at things.
Apocalypse
World, and many PbtA games, tend to be pretty loose on framing and pacing
scenes; I’ve put a little more structure for that in Princess World,
specifically using number of scenes to measure the difficulty or challenge of a
situation; the more difficult a challenge is, the more scenes will be required
to overcome or resolve it. I’m hoping this will make pacing of the story
and sharing spotlight time easier for newer players to grasp and use.
There’s no lists of equipment or gear in Princess World, basically, if it makes sense for a Princess to have access to something, the Weaver is encouraged to say “Yes!”, especially if it’s something the player can narratively unpack from one of their Truths! Encouraging creativity and experimenting with ideas is strongly encouraged!
As a parent, being able to create a world for your kids to play in has got to be amazing. I can see some of this in the Truths, but what are the values and principles you’ve considered in design, and the emotional experiences, that you have made an effort to ensure come across in play?
Yes,
it’s been amazing both from a design perspective and from a playing one.
Sebastian, my son, has already played Princess World; he created the first
Dragon Princess and did an amazing job with her, creating a monstrous Princess
who was both scary and kind! Freya hasn’t played yet, but has done
some basic role-playing with her cousins. All seem to have really enjoyed
it and I’m looking forward to more games with them.
One of the core experiences I wanted to have in Princess World was for the players to have to grapple with the question of “What is important to my character?”, with the subtext asking, “What is important to me?” Many moves and options revolve around choosing to help yourself, to help others, or to help the greater world around you and that, often, you won’t have enough to do all three at once so you’ll need to make hard choices. I interviewed a lot of kids, aged 9-13, during the early development process and I wanted the game to reflect what that age group wanted in a game: that their characters had agency, that they could make important choices, and that their choices mattered; I’m really hoping that Princess World will provide that for players, both new and experienced. So far, it seems to be working.
Heck yeah playing on the floor!
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Thanks so much to Kevin for the interview and to the Weaver Princess, Freya, for being such an inspiration! I hope you all enjoyed the interview and that you’ll check out Princess World on Kickstarter today!
Today’s post is by me, Beau, and my husband and business partner, John W. Sheldon. We’re discussing the game Sleepaway by Jay Dragon, and the experiences we had during character creation with the gender options.
All photos in this post are by John W. Sheldon, copyright 2019. I hope you enjoy it!
Beau, on Nice Boys
It is no secret that exploring gender in roleplaying games is kind ofa thingI do, This is part of how I got the courage to come out as nonbinary masculine, it’s part of how I discovered I was queer and what kind of queer I am, and it’s helped me develop my perception of self.
That’s not always been easy, though. In the heyday of online text-based roleplay, I could be whatever gender I want – and in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings fandoms, androgynous characters weren’t as often rejected as they were in other spaces. When I moved to playing face-to-face tabletop RPGs, I do think I encountered some friction with me playing masculine characters or what I now understand were nonbinary (I didn’t have the word at the time), it wasn’t much more than I got for playing pretty or sexy characters or queer characters. But, none of it ever felt… right?
In most of my own designs, I’ve tried to let people write in their own genders, not be restricted by the words and definitions other people are giving them and use to control and oppress them. I mean, it’s not like being “genderfluid nonbinary masculine” like me is actually a thing to anyone else, either, but it’s the closest I’ve got (though I do use “nonbinary boy” as a shortcut these days). But, this isn’t perfect – sometimes people won’t explore without a little help, a little guidance, something to escort them along their way.
When Dream Askew originally was released, I heard about the alternate gender options, and I was so excited! But when I tried to play the game, it was like a square block in a triangle hole – nothing fit, and it was sharply clear. I couldn’t make sense of it – even if I could kind of conceive the genders in my head, I couldn’t make myself want to play those characters.
But when I tried to play [Dream Askew], it was like a square block in a triangle hole – nothing fit, and it was sharply clear. …Enter Sleepaway.
-Beau
Enter Sleepaway by Jay Dragon. This game has been in my to-play for a bit, and my game group – made up of myself (gendered as noted above), my husband John (agender, presents mostly masculine), and my two cis men friends Ed and TJ who are varying levels of into exploring gender and sexuality (no judgement! some of us are just comfortable where we are!). TJ is the one who actually brought the game to the table and is facilitating.
The setup is fun in general – I honestly need to make a strong note to Jay that the writing is just phenomenal, evocative, and powerful in this game. I did a lot of summer camps as a kid, both as camper and counselor, and had some very important and scary experiences while there. The game captures all of it so beautifully and richly that I feel like I could play it a thousand times and have a unique experience every time, and learn something new about myself and my characters each time, as well. It’s also respectful in regards to First Nations and indigenous people’s rights, specifically in how you name your camp and respect the land!
And that comes into the character creation with the gender options, and where this post came from. I was skimming over them originally, until I reached The Lifeguard playbook. The top option for gender is “Nice Boy.” Anyone who knows me knows that my primary character type is something approximate to the “himbo” – a hot masculine person who is considered to be not the smartest, but is generally nice and well-intentioned even if it doesn’t always work out. I like nice boys, and specifically the gender of “boy” (not meaning a child) is one I identify with. The more I read the specific list, the more I was hooked. I knew what it meant to be a Lighthouse in the Darkness, or to be Relatable. I felt so seen by these options – and I could see other people I know in it too.
The Lifeguard gender options.
During and after character build, the table talked extensively about the gender options, especially me and John. John rarely talks about gender – as an agender person, he’s often said it just never clicks with him! I asked him if he could write a little about his perspective, so he has below.
John, on Rusted Swords
I’ve mostly ignored gender in games. I recognize that as a
supremely privileged thing to be able to do, but as a male,
masculine-presenting person, nobody made it an issue for me if I didn’t make it
one for myself. As an agender person, I never really had strong feelings about
gender presentation in games either – I honestly never thought of gender until
other people brought it up.
Playing classic games like D&D and Shadowrun growing up,
gender was usually just a single letter on a character sheet, something I
jotted down and almost immediately resumed ignoring. It didn’t mean anything
to me, and at the time I didn’t understand that it could to anyone else. After
all, it didn’t change any of the rules for my character, or restrict any of
their actions. I won’t pretend that I and my play groups weren’t steeped in
misogyny as a teen, but even if I put the “F” on my character sheet,
I still got treated well because I was, as a player, perceived as a man.
Then I grew up a bit. I realized that, in contrast to my own
experience, other people did have an internal experience of gender.
Their internal gender experiences meant a lot to them, even. I struggle to
apply a useful simile to the situation, but slowly realizing that I was agender
was a bit like a person slowly coming to understand that they were colorblind:
people were experiencing things and making a lot of decisions based on
information that was absent for me.
Then I discovered a wave of independent tabletop RPGs that
dared to fuck with gender. They made it something other than a binary toggle,
and didn’t pretend it was necessarily tied to biological sex. Gender was
queried as a way to ask about look and presentation, and there were lots of
options! I was glad that other people had selections they could use to
represent themselves, but I went right along basically ignoring the whole
category of experience. I dutifully picked an option during character
generation, usually just as a creative choice to help define the look of the
character, then went on ignoring it in play as I always did.
I dutifully picked an option during character generation, usually just as a creative choice to help define the look of the character, then went on ignoring it in play as I always did.
-John
I even tried an early version of Avery Alder’s Dream Askew.
Unlike the other indie titles I’d read which focused on presentation, Dream
Askew gave pick lists for actual gender, but eschewed the standard selections
in favor of evocative phrases. For me, this was actually a problem. With no
internal experience or sense by which to judge these phrases, and no ready
external indicators to associate with them, they just looked like a list of
nonsense words. To me, they might as well have been an actual list of
randomly-selected words. It took me out of the game and made the whole thing
more difficult for me to engage with.
Then, last night, I played Sleepaway. Like Dream Askew, each
character archetype has a list of options for gender, but there was something
different about these. These were written with deep ties to a genre I knew.
More than that: their names resonated with attitudes and behaviors I knew and
recognized in myself. Instead of a list of words that meant nothing to me, I
found myself using these signifiers to imagine different ways of being for
these characters – they were presentation, behavior, and identity all in one.
They were gender in a way I’d never understood or experienced it
for myself.
I found myself using these signifiers to imagine different ways of being for these characters – they were presentation, behavior, and identity all in one. They were gender in a way I’d never understood or experienced it for myself.
-John
Is Jay Dragon a genius because they wrote “Rusted Sword” as an option for a character’s gender? Yes. I’m saying absolutely, definitely yes.
—
Thank you so much John for sharing your perspective on this! I think this has been so valuable to experience for me, and I think it’s a gorgeous piece of design. You can find Sleepaway here and if all goes well, I’ll update with our adventures at Camp Why-I-Otter!
I have an interview today with Rae Nedjadi on BALIKBAYAN: Returning Home, which is currently available on itch.io! This game sounds so fascinating, and Rae talked about some really deep thoughts with me. Check them out below!
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Tell me a little about BALIKBAYAN! What excites you about it?
BALIKBAYAN: Returning Home is a narrative tabletop role-playing game that gives everyone at the table equal creative opportunities!
Specifically
it’s a story about Elementals, beings of Supernatural Filipino Folklore come to
life. BALIKBAYAN takes place in the far future, in a Cyberpunk setting at the
mercy of The Corp, that has enslaved the elementals through machinery.
Over
the generations these machines have infused with the magic, so BALIKBAYAN is
also about wielding machine-magic and using it to stay on the run, destroy the
Corp, and rebirth Magic.
I’m
excited about so many things about BALIKBAYAN, but I’m most excited about
offering a creative playground for everyone to enjoy. I’ve never understood
this boundary between science fiction and fantasy, technology and ritual,
machine and magic. I wanted to offer people to play with these ideas, while
also offering my own modern reimagining of Filipino folklore.
I’m
really happy with the response, and how excited everyone is to enjoy Filipino
games made by Filipino designers! I’m honestly hoping this will encourage more
people to create their own games so we can have more creative voices in the
community.
Another thing that excites me is the game system. BALIKBAYAN is a Belonging Outside Belonging game, which gives everyone more creative control. It’s different from your typical TTRPG experience, where only the Game Master controls most of the narrative.
Many of my readers will be excited to hear about the Filipino roots of the game! What are some of the elements (themes, history, magic) of BALIKBAYAN that players will see that are very much Filipino?
The strongest and most
apparent Filipino themes are present in the Playbooks themselves. Currently
BALIKBAYAN has six playbooks: Tikbalang, Diwata, Saint, Aswang Santelmo, and
the Duwende. I wanted to unapologetically use the original names for these
beings of myth and legend.
I did this mainly because
I come across a lot of Filipinos who are familiar with the folklore of other
countries (most people who play D&D here know about elves, gnomes, and all
that). But when I run a Filipino inspired game and lean into our roots, most of
the people I know, living here in this country, don’t know much about our own
myths. And often they use a western perspective when approaching these myths,
which breaks my heart.
I will say though that I decided to personally interpretat the essence of
these myths and legends. There are some problematic aspects of our folklore
that reflects the centuries of colonization that still influences the
Philippines to this day.
For example I wanted to take the Tikbalang and break it away from just being
an anthropomorphic horse. Horses aren’t even a natural local animal here, and
to this day they’re associated with the elite and privileged. Instead I wanted
to lean into our shamanic and animism roots. The Tikbalang in BALIKBAYAN can
change into any anthropomorphic animal form, and I wanted that fluidity to be
an important aspect of the playbook. I also wanted to reflect how we often look
to spiritual leaders in our community, and the Tikbalang is true to that.
I think the SAINT is another important one. Religion is a big thing here in
the Philippines, for better and for worse. We have so many beautiful stories
about Saints and the mystical miracles they embodied to protect communities. I
wanted to acknowledge that, but once again honor our pre-colonial roots and
have the SAINT be a playbook that interacts with Small Gods, in a Cyberpunk
setting.
I could just go on and on about each playbook!
In general I wanted to
honor our folklore, but I wanted to respectfully bring it into the present and
reflect our modern values, nuances, and struggles. Because I’m bi-racial,
queer, and non-binary, I think that shows in the design. I put so much of
myself, and my complex love for my country, into this game.
BALIKBAYAN also speaks to
leaving behind our masters and becoming our own masters. I wanted this to reflect
in the premise and creative setting, but also in the mechanics and narrative
prompts.
Becoming our own masters is something I want to happen for Filipinos in
general. We were colonized for centuries, and the scars still show. As a
society, we haven’t done the collective and deeply emotional work to decolonize
our perspectives, approaches, and values. In a way we are still bowing down to
Masters that have long left us to rot, and it shows in our governance and
social value systems.
I have faith that we can do the work. Many artists, teachers, and leaders
are already helping their communities to do so. BALIKBAYAN is my own personal
attempt to help along and honor that decolonization process.
BALIKBAYAN seems like a big step away from what we’ve seen from cyberpunk. How have you altered the standard cyberpunk setting to really make it yours and to do something different?
It’s funny, I really get
this a lot! But to be perfectly honest, BALIKBAYAN simply embodies how I’ve
always seen and engaged with Cyberpunk. For one thing, I’ve always gravitated
more to portrayal of Cyberpunk themes in anime, especially from the 80s and
90s. I’ve always appreciated that lens more, and it really speaks to me.
I did want to make magic a big part of the game. This is again deeply
personal. I believe magic and technology aren’t at odds with each other, and
magic shouldn’t be regulated to fantasies chained to the past either. I was
initially inspired by games like Shadowrun, but I didn’t like how the lore and
system created this great divide between magic and technology. So in BALIKBAYAN
I wanted to make that barrier non-existent.
I think the main issue with Cyberpunk as a genre is that we often see the
aesthetic markers and surface indicators of the genre, but we ignore the important
work that POC and queer creators have done in the space. They’ve given me the
permission to define Cyberpunk on my own terms.
And in turn, I want to do the same for the people who will play BALIKBAYAN.
The game asks you to bring about the rebirth of magic and to create a
Revolution, but what that will actually entail is up to the players and is out
of my hands. I believe Cyberpunk, and the Revolution it inspires, is a deeply
personal experience.
Because I don’t think the world will change from one Revolution. I believe it will change, and has changed, from the series of ongoing neverending Revolutions that we bring to life.
There is a lot of discussion about
decolonizing games and how many major games are from a colonized perspective,
so I really appreciate you talking about that! Does any of this translate to
the actual mechanics you use in the game? What are the mechanics like?
I definitely feel that the
decolonization process can be incredibly personal. For me it was in realizing
that the games I used to love to run and play, namely Dungeons & Dragons
and games like it, focused on violence, possession, taking things through
strength, with a focus on exploring the “alien” and
“exotic” and marveling at how “weird” it all was. This was
reflected in the mechanics of the game too, I feel. As a Filipino, knowing that
my own country was treated this way by its colonizers, it left a really bad
taste in my mouth.
In BALIKBAYAN, the Belonging
Outside of Belonging system favors narrative play that is entirely in the hands
of the players. I also added a few mechanics that center on the decolonization
process. First, each playbook asks the players to choose and build on a
“human form” and a “true form”. Because the Elementals are
on the run, this is basically what forms are “acceptable” versus what
they truly look like. I wanted to leave it up to the players and each story
what this means, how do they navigate this? Next the playbooks ask you to
choose “What you hope for”. While the players are tasked to bring
about the Rebirth of Magic (more on that in a bit), I also wanted to give the
players a personal goal to help drive the story. In a way this reflects how I
feel about the decolonization process: each path is unique, deeply personal.
People can talk about what their decolonization process is like, but they
cannot dictate to others what it SHOULD be like. Each of us interacts with
different intersections of class, race, background, and so on. What the
decolonization process is like in America is VERY different from what it is
like in the Philippines, and so on. The individual hope reflects that, but it
also asks each player to balance or find common ground with that hope and the
rebirth of magic.
Which brings us to another mechanic
I added. Originally I just liked the idea of having a sort of countdown
mechanic, to give the players some structure or urgency to the story being
told. There are two clocks running. The first clock is you start ON THE RUN,
but can eventually end up CAPTURED by the Corp again. The second clock has you
start at FADING, your magic is weak and dwindling compared to your ancestors,
but you want to reach REBORN, with the magic being your own.
In my mind, decolonization is not
about returning to what was before our colonizers came. That is in the past,
and much of our history has been rewritten by those more powerful than us. When
I think about what we’ve lost, what we could have been, it frustrates me. When
I think of the privilege I enjoy because of my circumstances that are favored
by a colonial mentality, I feel guilty and ill at ease. For example, I speak
English well and that opened a lot of doors for me, when it shouldn’t have. I
strongly feel that the way forward is in acknowledging the past, while building
our own sense of worth and grace outside of our colonial mentality. In the
Philippines we need to acknowledge that much of our systems and infrastructure
are badly compromised by these centuries of colonization. We need to rebuild,
to be reborn, to reclaim our own magic.
I’m nonbinary too, so I’m always
fascinated to see how other nonbinary designers make games. How do you feel
that your queerness, your nonbinary identity, being bi-racial, and these other
personal aspects of yourself have impacted the design and presentation of
BALIKBAYAN and the cyberpunk world within it?
To be honest, I used to really struggle with the idea of queer design, and what that looks like. I have to truly give credit to the community of indie designers who looked at my work and reflected on it, helping me see the queerness and nonbinary nature of my design. In BALIKBAYAN my nonbinary asserts itself by allowing the players to choose how active or passive they wish the story to flow. There are tools available, but I provide many examples that show how each game can be unique and flow completely differently. As a nonbinary, I believe in nuance and push away from the black and white. There are some cool mechanics tied to that (for example, even if you bring about the Rebirth of Magic, you have to answer the question “Which one of us runs away, and helps rebuild the Corp?”). Though I also have to say that also reflects my colonial pain, many of us resort to acting like our colonial masters in the way of rebirth and revolution (those dang intersections, right?).
But yes as a nonbinary designer, I come from a place of nuance and push that towards the forefront. I think that also gave me the sheer confidence to tackle the Cyberpunk genre. I grew up loving it, and like so many people like me (queer, POC, etc) I also felt disappointed by how so much of its core themes of revolution and self-acceptance were rewritten and downplayed. But I refuse to back down, and I’ll continue designing in these spaces and do my work to reclaim it along with other diverse artists.
ETA: Sorry, now with links! Blogger borked. Hey all, today I have an interview with Alice Grizzle, who has a really cool name and made an even cooler game: Kiss Her Before the World Ends. I’ve heard nothing but praise for it and her design since its recent release, so check out what Alice has to say!
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Tell me a little about Kiss Her Before the World Ends. What excites you about it?
Kiss Her Before the World Ends excites me because it prioritizes how the PC’s feel and allows space for all players. My main goal when creating the game was to create a game that encourages romance while still letting everyone play characters like themselves. Be the ace, pan, aromantic, polyam, etc. I think it achieves that.
There are so many games about being a badass, that focus on violence. I wanted to make a game about being vulnerable in front of other people. My hope is that people will see games like mine and realize that relationships and romance can be the centerpiece for your game. Tabletop games have the same ability to be about anything that every form of media has.
Alice Grizzle, designer.
What do players typically do and experience in a standard session of Kiss Her Before the World Ends? What did you do in the design to allow or encourage players to play inclusively, whether they are playing characters like themselves or choosing to play characters unlike themselves?
Kiss Her is an emotional game, stressful even at times which is by design. The use of a timer puts a lot of pressure on the players to say what they have to say before they’re no longer able to do so. It simulates the same pressure the characters feel really well.
During the design process I had to think of broad definitions for things like what it means to want Intimacy. That’s hard enough to quantify, especially while still being inclusive to ace and aromantic folks. I settled on “Intimacy is the desire for closeness” which is open to lots of interpretations. All the definitions for the types of Needs are equally interpretable.
What are the mechanics like in Kiss Her and how do players engage them?
The two main mechanics in Kiss Her Before the World Ends, the ones that control the flow of the game and what the game is about, are Needs and the timer. Needs are the things people want and they come in 4 types: Intimacy Needs, Empathy Needs, Escapism Needs, and Validation Needs. The main focus of the game is the characters negotiating how to get what they want while also fulfilling each other’s Needs. At certain points in play the players will clear Needs that they’ve resolved and replace them with new ones. Priorities change as the end draws closer.
The timer is the outside world collapsing around them. It is what pushes the characters forward, and hopefully towards each other. It also controls the pace of the game. Scenes can end whenever the players feel like they should, but none can go past the length of the timer.
What do you like best about the game and how it plays, from a design standpoint?
Probably the different types of Needs. Those four types and the definitions for them really feel like they incapsulate a huge part of what it is we as people want from our relationships. I feel like they push players into immediately playing interesting, conflicted characters.
I would say I also really like how we’ve formated it primarily with mobile viewing in mind. It encourages spontaneous play in a way that you just can’t do if your game is a full book. I seriously think that books almost always being the default way we present our games is to our own detriment. Games should be presented in the way that makes them most accessible and encourages players to play in the ways you want them too.
This cover is super gorgeous, and looks great in the mobile format. The book itself is designed to work great on mobile, which has gained a lot of praise from those who have bought the game to play!
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Thanks so much for the interview, Alice! I hope you all enjoyed it and that you’ll check out Kiss Her Before the World Ends today!
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