I have been working on the Turn Kickstarter since October 2018, and it has been quite a challenge. The Behind the Masc Kickstarter went so smoothly, with so few issues! Turn, on the other hand, had production changes, shipping challenges, and was all complicated by my continued health issues, both mental and physical. The project was a mountain, in a range of mountains so high I have been struggling to overcome them.
My remaining responsibilities for the Kickstarter are fulfilling some books that have been returned, some of which never were returned but never reached the customer (hooray, shipping!); fulfilling the Snake and Cougar backers, which I’ve only just started on and it’s been a snail’s pace – I feel extreme guilt over this, tbh; and completing and releasing the stretch goals, which are nearly done except for the border town supplement which was a late addition and is now on the back burner until everything else is complete. We legit are doing the final edits on the stretch goals, putting the cover on and touching up art, this weekend! It’s just so much more work than it seems, even when you go in expecting to climb Everest.
The reality is, there are always taller mountains.
Not only have I encountered issues with my head injury recovery, but I’ve also dealt with recurring back problems, required pelvic rehabilitation therapy and treatment for digestive and dental issues, and also fought constantly with Medicaid – not to forget struggles with depression, my bipolar disorder, and PTSD. My immediate family has struggled too, and I never manage to be there for them. All of this while I’m still trying to figure out how to contribute to my household – at this point, I struggle pointlessly.
I have taken on editing jobs, sensitivity consultation roles, and small game design jobs, but I’ve had to step out of a few, and those I have finished like the code of conduct used in a number of Pacific Northwest game design playtest groups are ones I don’t really see the fruits of – though the financial benefits were enough to stress out Medicaid.
I’ve supported the Homunculus Assembly Line Kickstarter regularly and will be doing writing and design for it, and hopefully working closely with a partner will make it easier. It’s just a frustrating pattern that there’s work and work and it’s always more than it seems, always this bigger mountain, and when we get to the reward at the end, it’s always smaller. Turn has been out for a while now, and few people have really recognized that – this is not a complaint, this is a recognition that I haven’t reached out to podcasts or reviewers and sent out copies to try to get their attention, because I’m too damn tired.
I’m going somewhere with this, I swear.
The reality is there are ranges of mountains we climb over every day, and let’s be real, the privileged, able, rich people will be able to get over them so much more easily than the rest of us. But it’s easier to do it together, tied together with some rope for safety, trusting in each other. When we fall, we can help each other up.
And people do this for me every day – my partners, my friends, my colleagues. I know I can be a goddamn disaster, but I also know that my openness about my pain and struggles gives people the opportunity to support me and help me, whether it’s through bundles that get me to conventions or gifting me from my birthday wishlist or just a DM to make sure I eat a goddamn meal today.
The mountains are cold and lonely at times, and we will starve if we try to climb them alone. We don’t have to be some sort of superhumans, and we shouldn’t have to be. We should strive to support each other in a network of creators and consumers, loving and caring for one-another. We don’t have to cannibalize each other if we plan for the storms and listen to what wise people say.
That reward at the end won’t be as small if it’s shared between us and used to grow more and greater gardens. We can keep going! We just have to stick together, and find the beauty in the mountains together, and not turn back when it feels impossible.
This is what I’m telling myself, as I keep climbing. Will you tie your rope to me, and hold on tight as the winds blow?
Today’s post is by me, Beau, and my husband and business partner, John W. Sheldon. We’re discussing the game Sleepaway by Jay Dragon, and the experiences we had during character creation with the gender options.
All photos in this post are by John W. Sheldon, copyright 2019. I hope you enjoy it!
Beau, on Nice Boys
It is no secret that exploring gender in roleplaying games is kind ofa thingI do, This is part of how I got the courage to come out as nonbinary masculine, it’s part of how I discovered I was queer and what kind of queer I am, and it’s helped me develop my perception of self.
That’s not always been easy, though. In the heyday of online text-based roleplay, I could be whatever gender I want – and in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings fandoms, androgynous characters weren’t as often rejected as they were in other spaces. When I moved to playing face-to-face tabletop RPGs, I do think I encountered some friction with me playing masculine characters or what I now understand were nonbinary (I didn’t have the word at the time), it wasn’t much more than I got for playing pretty or sexy characters or queer characters. But, none of it ever felt… right?
In most of my own designs, I’ve tried to let people write in their own genders, not be restricted by the words and definitions other people are giving them and use to control and oppress them. I mean, it’s not like being “genderfluid nonbinary masculine” like me is actually a thing to anyone else, either, but it’s the closest I’ve got (though I do use “nonbinary boy” as a shortcut these days). But, this isn’t perfect – sometimes people won’t explore without a little help, a little guidance, something to escort them along their way.
When Dream Askew originally was released, I heard about the alternate gender options, and I was so excited! But when I tried to play the game, it was like a square block in a triangle hole – nothing fit, and it was sharply clear. I couldn’t make sense of it – even if I could kind of conceive the genders in my head, I couldn’t make myself want to play those characters.
But when I tried to play [Dream Askew], it was like a square block in a triangle hole – nothing fit, and it was sharply clear. …Enter Sleepaway.
-Beau
Enter Sleepaway by Jay Dragon. This game has been in my to-play for a bit, and my game group – made up of myself (gendered as noted above), my husband John (agender, presents mostly masculine), and my two cis men friends Ed and TJ who are varying levels of into exploring gender and sexuality (no judgement! some of us are just comfortable where we are!). TJ is the one who actually brought the game to the table and is facilitating.
The setup is fun in general – I honestly need to make a strong note to Jay that the writing is just phenomenal, evocative, and powerful in this game. I did a lot of summer camps as a kid, both as camper and counselor, and had some very important and scary experiences while there. The game captures all of it so beautifully and richly that I feel like I could play it a thousand times and have a unique experience every time, and learn something new about myself and my characters each time, as well. It’s also respectful in regards to First Nations and indigenous people’s rights, specifically in how you name your camp and respect the land!
And that comes into the character creation with the gender options, and where this post came from. I was skimming over them originally, until I reached The Lifeguard playbook. The top option for gender is “Nice Boy.” Anyone who knows me knows that my primary character type is something approximate to the “himbo” – a hot masculine person who is considered to be not the smartest, but is generally nice and well-intentioned even if it doesn’t always work out. I like nice boys, and specifically the gender of “boy” (not meaning a child) is one I identify with. The more I read the specific list, the more I was hooked. I knew what it meant to be a Lighthouse in the Darkness, or to be Relatable. I felt so seen by these options – and I could see other people I know in it too.
The Lifeguard gender options.
During and after character build, the table talked extensively about the gender options, especially me and John. John rarely talks about gender – as an agender person, he’s often said it just never clicks with him! I asked him if he could write a little about his perspective, so he has below.
John, on Rusted Swords
I’ve mostly ignored gender in games. I recognize that as a
supremely privileged thing to be able to do, but as a male,
masculine-presenting person, nobody made it an issue for me if I didn’t make it
one for myself. As an agender person, I never really had strong feelings about
gender presentation in games either – I honestly never thought of gender until
other people brought it up.
Playing classic games like D&D and Shadowrun growing up,
gender was usually just a single letter on a character sheet, something I
jotted down and almost immediately resumed ignoring. It didn’t mean anything
to me, and at the time I didn’t understand that it could to anyone else. After
all, it didn’t change any of the rules for my character, or restrict any of
their actions. I won’t pretend that I and my play groups weren’t steeped in
misogyny as a teen, but even if I put the “F” on my character sheet,
I still got treated well because I was, as a player, perceived as a man.
Then I grew up a bit. I realized that, in contrast to my own
experience, other people did have an internal experience of gender.
Their internal gender experiences meant a lot to them, even. I struggle to
apply a useful simile to the situation, but slowly realizing that I was agender
was a bit like a person slowly coming to understand that they were colorblind:
people were experiencing things and making a lot of decisions based on
information that was absent for me.
Then I discovered a wave of independent tabletop RPGs that
dared to fuck with gender. They made it something other than a binary toggle,
and didn’t pretend it was necessarily tied to biological sex. Gender was
queried as a way to ask about look and presentation, and there were lots of
options! I was glad that other people had selections they could use to
represent themselves, but I went right along basically ignoring the whole
category of experience. I dutifully picked an option during character
generation, usually just as a creative choice to help define the look of the
character, then went on ignoring it in play as I always did.
I dutifully picked an option during character generation, usually just as a creative choice to help define the look of the character, then went on ignoring it in play as I always did.
-John
I even tried an early version of Avery Alder’s Dream Askew.
Unlike the other indie titles I’d read which focused on presentation, Dream
Askew gave pick lists for actual gender, but eschewed the standard selections
in favor of evocative phrases. For me, this was actually a problem. With no
internal experience or sense by which to judge these phrases, and no ready
external indicators to associate with them, they just looked like a list of
nonsense words. To me, they might as well have been an actual list of
randomly-selected words. It took me out of the game and made the whole thing
more difficult for me to engage with.
Then, last night, I played Sleepaway. Like Dream Askew, each
character archetype has a list of options for gender, but there was something
different about these. These were written with deep ties to a genre I knew.
More than that: their names resonated with attitudes and behaviors I knew and
recognized in myself. Instead of a list of words that meant nothing to me, I
found myself using these signifiers to imagine different ways of being for
these characters – they were presentation, behavior, and identity all in one.
They were gender in a way I’d never understood or experienced it
for myself.
I found myself using these signifiers to imagine different ways of being for these characters – they were presentation, behavior, and identity all in one. They were gender in a way I’d never understood or experienced it for myself.
-John
Is Jay Dragon a genius because they wrote “Rusted Sword” as an option for a character’s gender? Yes. I’m saying absolutely, definitely yes.
—
Thank you so much John for sharing your perspective on this! I think this has been so valuable to experience for me, and I think it’s a gorgeous piece of design. You can find Sleepaway here and if all goes well, I’ll update with our adventures at Camp Why-I-Otter!
I recently attended Big Bad Con 2019 at the grace of many generous purchasers of a bundle that funded my attendance. Big Bad Con is my favorite con, and I’ve talked about it in the past on Thoughty with a lot of passion and enthusiasm, as well as interviewed the staff. It is a con that I truly feel has a caring ethic to their design, and I love being there a lot.
The Big Bad Con welcome pamplet’s Community Standards.
A brief personal note
This year I was traveling in the midst of some personal crises – at home, I found out mid-con my kitchen was mildly flooding, and the following week, I had a mild-but-anxiety-inducing medical procedure that had basically blocked my mind from functioning. On my flight in, I sustained a mild back injury that made my participation in the con limited. It was really frustrating, stressful, and I feel like I let a lot of people down by letting stress get to me and by not being able to keep my body going.
I am super grateful to everyone who supported me by helping me get medication and supplies to get through the pain I was in (shout out especially to Jeremy Tidwell, Lucian Kahn, and Vivian Paul!). I apologize that this con report isn’t Super Exciting and Full of Games! I was simply limited by my own realities, and it is a dreadful thing, to be sure.
Also big thanks to Anders Smith who managed to get me a gift when he wasn’t even here.
What I did
I arrived a day early on Wednesday and spent most of that day meeting new people and getting into my accommodations. We initially feared a power outage, which sent me into a tizzy, but it never happened. I still tried to be prepared, and in doing so, I spent a lot of time around the lobby keeping an ear out and seeing who arrived.
Some of the amazing people I had the chance to meet were Sangjun Park, creator of moonflower; Luke Wildwood; Sidney Icarus (who I hope to someday have guest write on Thoughty for approachable theory!); and after that it starts to get real busy. See, Big Bad Con this year did some amazing things – one of the biggest things is that, combining scholarships and the very vital Babble On Equity Project, they had guests from all around the world, including Australia, Korea, and Malaysia, and even had a guest from Trinidad, Brandon O’Brien, who I got to meet later that day. Brandon said some very kind things about Turn, especially about A.J.’s poetry. It made me so glad!
Later in the week, Big Bad Con also hosted the PoC (People of Color) dinner and meet & greet, focusing on supporting and connecting people of color in the gaming community. It was really awesome to see! I was lucky enough to meet a lot of amazing designers of color from outside of the U.S. and from inside the U.S. too. It was incredible to see such a presence at the con, to see so many people there who deserve to be heard and given opportunities, as well as allowed space to show the amazing work they do!
EVERYONE who got a scholarship, attended the PoC events as a person of color, or was supported by the Babble On Equity Project at Big Bad Con is rad as hell and their work is worth investing in.
HELP THEM THRIVE. Do not fail this whole class of designers and creators by dismissing them or ignoring them. Look them up, research them, hire them, pay them, buy their games and art, interview them, promote them, and when you do those things? Respect their identity and their backgrounds with care and generosity and do NOT let them down.
On Thursday, I co-hosted the Soda Pop Social with Meguey Baker and it was a great success! We had a really good turnout and lots of people were super enthusiastic for the sodas we’d selected. I again had a lot of comments from people grateful for a welcoming space for non-alcoholic networking that was still fun and had recognizable people to meet and get to know, so that was great! I love the social, even though it keeps me moving for a couple hours without significant breaks, because I get to kind of be one of the first faces to welcome people and to share something fun and lighthearted with them!
So many sodas! This wasn’t even the ones in the fridge!
I also did my first Ranger shift! I volunteered at the con this year to cover my badge and my shifts were both at the Tell Me About Your Character Booth, which is really cool! I got to listen to people talk about their cool characters they’ve played and see the resident artist at the booth draw a portrait for the guest, and donations for the booth went to Doctors without Borders! It was really great. I did provide feedback to the con about improving the accessibility for those of us who have to be seated for our shifts, and for guests who need to sit. We worked out some more comfortable arrangements on my shift the next day, too, so it was good overall! I’m hoping if I volunteer again I get to do the booth and, if I’m lucky, do the booth with one of my artist partners so I can listen and they can draw!
Friday, I did the Terror in Design panel with Meguey Baker, Whitney “Strix” Beltrán, Misha Bushyager, and James Mendez Hodes, moderated by Rachel Bell. It was a fantastic panel, and some notes were taken by a guest and can be found here. We discussed a lot of things, especially consent, boundaries, how consent and boundaries can make horror more interesting, creating ambiance through design, where we find horror, and so so much more. It was a really interesting panel!
I actually really dig horror and I don’t talk about it as much as I’d like to because I’m also incredibly picky about horror, and have a lot of triggers, squicks, and general issues to watch out for. For example, on the flight home I watched the Hulu In The Dark film New Year, New You and got through the film with few issues because it’s altogether not too trauma-heavy for me, except for the references to suicide. But I watched In The Tall Grass on Netflix tonight and had to look away or distract myself multiple times because there was a pregnancy as a major focus of the fiction and horror. As I have tokophobia, that’s a no-no. It’s tricky, that lizard brain.
Big Bad Con actually has Script Change as one of their recommended safety tools!
I also did a second shift at the Tell Me About Your Character Booth on Friday, a little more successful this time around. 🙂
By the time Saturday ran around, I was 100% burnt out. I’d been dealing with a lot of emotional stress, so after a lot of weaseling around I elected to drop out of two games I’d been dying to play – Lucian Kahn’s Visigoths vs Mall Goths and Kieron Gillan’s DIE. But, I was in no state to play. So I just visited people most of the day, getting to hang out with a ton of people and talk about games and the industry!
The only actual game I played over the course of the weekend was a portion of a game in progress by LiteralSoup, who is great. It’s a mech game, and gave me the mech name of Challenging Hope, which sounds about right! I thought it was super cool, and I really enjoyed hearing of other people’s mech names – if you played Soup’s game, please tell me your mech name! I want to know! We need to cancel the apocalypse together! <3
All throughout the weekend people were stopping to have me sign Turn or Script Change for them, which was amazing! I loved that so much – I loved being able to sign books for the first time really and it meant so so much to me. I really appreciated everyone’s enthusiasm for the book and for Script Change! I’ve worked hard on my projects and it means a lot to see people show love for them. <3
Did I mention I got a copy of Undying from Paul Riddle and DIDN’T have him sign it? *headdesk*
Late in the night I went to the Big Queer Dance Party hosted by Jackson Tegu, which was super fantastic! While I don’t dance much anymore, I really enjoy attending the dance party and listening to music. I was hugely impressed by the workshopping on consent, communication, and care that Jackson (assisted by Anne Ratchat) provided to help people ask each other to dance, accept rejection, provide rejection, and be comfortable in the space. It was so amazing, and I love that Big Bad Con allows space for events like these!
Many people who attend USian gaming conventions might not have had the kind of access to places to dance and be comfortable in their body that people from other subcultures or even just cultures in general might have had, and there’s also a huge number of queer people at the con who are given a space to express themselves. I wouldn’t be surprised if a number of games or mechanics were thought up just in those flashing lights on the dance floor as we all listened to music. Goodness knows I thought of some!
I stayed up ungodly late talking to a fantastic person (Soup) then got up earlier than I wanted and flew home on Sunday.
Not before I grabbed a copy of Vivian Paul’s Elder Song…and also forgot to have her sign it.
Some thoughts
I’ve been reflecting on Twitter about a lot of things since then, including a thread about how I learned to “hold court” at cons and how it keeps me from spending the whole con sitting by myself. I really enjoyed the con, but as I told many people there, I have a lot of challenges with conventions. They’re quite expensive, it’s hard for me to travel alone, if I get injured or ill it’s a whole mess, and I struggle to keep up with everything – plus I often feel out of place or alone.
I’m putting these facts out to the world because I want to be honest, and also so others don’t feel alone if they feel the same way. These things we do as professionals or as hobbyists to be connected with our community and our industry can be very challenging for us in a lot of ways, and flying thousands of miles to feel left out and discouraged and not good enough is hard. It’s scary and makes you feel like the world is ending. And like, there’s no real good fix for it!
I keep trying to remember the good moments of the con, like this, even though my finishing move makes no sense because I don’t know grammar terms apparently.
I want to say something that fixes it. I want to say that I will wake up in a few hours (as it’s already 4am) and feel refreshed, and like going to Big Bad Con was a wonderful, flawless experience. But it wasn’t. There’s weird industry baggage – I’ve been working long enough to have that. There’s annoying health stuff – I’m old enough and disabled enough to have that. There’s stressful home stuff – I’m old enough and low class enough to have that. There were challenges at the con with accessibility (some solved, some not), and challenges with travel with accessibility.
There were so many things I loved about the con! But I do wish I had gotten to play more games so I had more to report to you, my readers, and I wish I had more to say to you than this: there are so many amazing games on the horizon and already HERE that I can’t even handle it, and I also do not know what my capacity truly is for the situation I am in. I want to be bring you the interviews and theory you want, I want to design you games you enjoy. But I may not always be as speedy as I once was, and Big Bad Con this year showed me that.
You could say, really, that… this con hit me a little differently.
Hi all! I’ve got an awesome interview with Lucian Kahn today about Visigoths vs. Mall Goths, which is currently on Kickstarter! It sounds super cool and I’m personally looking forward to playing it at Big Bad Con. Check out Lucian’s responses below!
—
Tell
me a little about Visigoths vs. Mall Goths. What excites you about it?
Visigoths vs. Mall Goths is a tabletop
roleplaying game and dating sim about the conflicts and romances among the
warriors who sacked ancient Rome and 20th century spooky teens, set
in a shopping mall in a Los Angeles suburb in 1996. There are a lot of bisexuals.
The plot structure of Visigoths vs. Mall
Goths resembles an open-world videogame RPG. Designed for either one-shot or
campaign play, each adventure episode offers several quests that you may choose
to pursue (or ignore), and the mall setting is packed with many strange retro
marvels to discover. Or you can just replay the game over and over to kiss all
the kissable clerks.
Imagine a surreal combo of The Craft, Empire Records, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and Clueless. In addition to all that, I’m thrilled to be working with an incredible array of artists and writers on this project. The famous, talented, and extremely nice Robin Eisenberg has done an incredible job on the cover. We’ve got illustrations by Lluis Abadias Garcia, who did all the art for the Retroverse D&D 5e expansion. Vee Hendro, the graphic designer for Good Society, is doing the graphic design. We’ve got guest adventure modules by a very cool bunch of game designers, including Liz Gorinsky from Goth Court, and Maja Bäckvall who was the runes expert on Civilization VI and God of War. I could go on. The artists on this project rule.
What are some of the challenges and more exciting aspects of combining ancient Visigoths and 90s mall goths?
The only real design challenge I faced in the
goth-on-goth arena was figuring out exactly how disoriented I wanted to make
these time-traveling Visigoths. This could have gone very Encino Man,
but I didn’t really want the game to be about ancient warriors staring in awe
at escalators, so it took some work to get the narrative framing right, where
the Visigoths are historically displaced but we’re assuming they’ve somehow
learned English and know what a computer is. Fortunately, this game is
completely surreal and absurd anyway, so this extremely fast learning process
doesn’t have to be plausible to buy into the premise and have fun.
Part of what’s exciting for me about throwing
together these 2 types of goths is that they’re both outsiders. The Visigoths
are outsiders for 2 reasons: first and most obviously because they’ve been
displaced from their original historical context and dumped into a ‘90s mall,
but they were also oppressed outsiders in Roman culture before the time travel.
The Mall Goths are also outsiders in 2 directions: they’re too weird to fit
into mainstream teen culture, but they’re also both too young to get into goth
clubs and too commercial to be accepted by the avant garde. So the scenario
I’ve set up pits these 2 groups against each other, but both groups are
outsiders within the context of the mall and the suburbs. This makes for a
weird and fascinating array of potential social dynamics that the players can
mess around with.
It’s weird to think of it, but a 90s game is now a period piece! What’s it like writing a near-history piece and how did you make the game feel totally 90s?
I was a bisexual grunge-rock teen in Los Angeles in the 90s and started goth clubbing as soon as I turned 18, so the aesthetics of this game are very close to my heart and my personal experience. Honestly, this entire design process has been extremely heartwarming, partially because I’ve gotten to indulge my nostalgia, but also because the past year of playtesting at cons and stuff has brought me into so many cute conversations with other people who still carry a torch for 90s counterculture. People who were there at the time will find a lot of Easter Eggs that refer to real stuff that was going on back then, and at the same time, I’ve made the world vivid enough that it’s still fun for younger players or people who weren’t in the USA at the time, etc. I don’t want to give too many spoilers, but the mall has a salon for humans and pets called Gerbil Essences.
Gerbil Essences is
amazing! It sounds like you had a lot of fun with the project. What was it like
in playtesting – how did the design choices you made come to fruition with
different diverse groups?
I playtested this game for over a
year, which is a long time for me, and it definitely evolved a lot over that
time. One constantly recurring theme was the balance between structure and
freedom in the game rules. I wanted this game to accommodate the needs of some
very different types of players, from Dungeons & Dragons fans, to indie
storygamers, to LARPers, to total newcomers. Based on player feedback in the
past few months, I think I’ve struck a fun balance that lets a lot of different
people enjoy the game.
How are the Visigoths and Mall Goths
represented mechanically in the game, and how do their mechanics interact with
each other?
There are 3 types of Visigoths
(Conqueror, Charlatan, and Runecaster) and 3 types of Mall Goths (Theatre Tech,
Witch, and Cyber Pet). Each character type comes with 3 skills that get bonuses
on dice rolls. For example, the Theatre Tech has bonuses to costumes,
pyrotechnics, and rappelling. They also each have a special skill they can use
once per day without rolling dice. For example, the Cyber Pet can put on cute
animal ears for a half-price discount at any store.
But the most important mechanic is
probably Embarrassing Traits. Each character has 1 or 2 of these, and the
options are different for Visigoths and Mall Goths. For example, one Visigoth
embarrassing trait option is “Fear of Animals,” which gets especially dicey if
you’re a Conqueror with the “control animals” skill, and another is “Allergic
to Metal,” which sucks if you’re wearing chainmail. The way these work is that
you can embarrass yourself to make your friend look cool in comparison or draw attention
away from them, giving one of your fellow Visigoths or Mall Goths a bonus to
their roll.
Finally, while most games only track physical damage, Visigoths vs Mall Goths only tracks emotional damage. That’s right, physical combat only has emo outcomes — and if you get too emotionally overwhelmed, you can’t fight anymore until you talk about your feelings with a friend!
I have a big life thing coming up soon – specifically, my partner Thomas and I will be exchanging rings near Halloween to make our relationship “official.” While looking at rings and thinking a lot about love and relationships, I realized there’s just not a lot of support for polyamorous people who want to have a formal aspect to their relationship, and especially when you’re not religious in any way, it can be difficult to have a way to mark your relationship.
Someday Thomas and I want to have a more formal commitment ceremony, when things are more secure, but for now, we’re just gonna have a quiet exchange of rings. I decided to write a little game about love, polyamory, self love, consent, and commitment – and give people like us a ritual to mark their love, too. I tried to be inclusive – I hope it is inclusive to you! If you like it, consider picking it up at https://briebeau.itch.io/whats-in-a-ring and leaving a donation to help us pay for a celebratory dinner. 🙂
Love to all <3
What’s in a Ring? by Brie Beau Sheldon, dedicated to Thomas Novosel.
Content Warning: There are allegations against Erika Shepherd for abusive behavior. I don’t have any links, but have been notified in private and respect the privacy of those raising the concerns, and I’m making this note as part of my policy against perpetrators of harm.
——
Hi all, I have a few quick questions with answers from Erika Shepherd on Hearts of Magic: Threads Entangled! It looks like a really interesting game, I hope you like what Erika has to say!
—
What is Hearts of Magic, both as a product and as your vision?
Hearts of Magic is a Firebrands Framework game about fey nobles, arcanist-bureaucrats, and anarchist witches vying for control of a magepunk fantasy city, getting in messy entanglements with eachother amid an undeclared magical war. It’s a story told against a backdrop of imperialism and class struggle, but it’s also a story about individuals finding ways to resist that system, and just maybe finding eachother instead.
It’s intended for one-shot play, with zero prep and an easy-to-learn ruleset you can pick up and play; while it has a set of factions and setting elements built in, it’s easy to adapt to other settings/factions, and flexible about how you portray your faction, without defining a lot of the worldbuilding.
It’s also, not to put too fine a point on it, *gay as hell*. An Oblique Discussion is explicitly and intentionally a game about, not being able to say out loud the thing you want to tell somebody, and As A Lesbian, it was important to me to put down in a game that feeling of, talking around something and hoping your were understood. It’s a game about fighting with your friends and allying with your rivals, but most of all, about falling in love with your enemies, and about how love (or something like it) can overcome the things that keep us apart and the systems that tear up our world.
The cover of Hearts of Magic, illustrated by Finn Carey.
What is the design process for a project like this with the ten games in one design, especially when trying to create these messy entanglements?
I have to give almost all the credit to Vincent and Meg Baker, for the overall design – Hearts of Magic started as a 1:1 reskin of Mobile Frame Zero: Firebrands, and much of that design is still part of Hearts of Magic. I did, however, remove a couple of the Firebrands games, and added two of my own – Weaving a Spell and A Wizard’s Battle. With that said, I did have to think about the kinds of entanglements I was looking to create. This game is as much the story of The City as it is a story of the characters themselves, and I wanted to make sure to focus as much on the ways characters interact with The City as the ways characters interact with eachother.
In “A Chase”, for instance, I wanted to make sure to fill out the landscape of the city and the range of setting options, for the players, being sure to include a range of physical locations in the City to expand the range of whats possible, there (Like trains! Can’t have magepunk weird-fantasy without trains!). Another example is how A Wizard’s Battle makes sure to include as much about how a violent confrontation affects the City, potentially devastating the surrounding neighborhood.
With that said, the real core of the game is about the interactions between the player characters; by making Weaving A Spell focus closely on the intimacy of doing magic with another person for instance, by keeping the focus of the games on the relationships between the players and not just their factions, I wanted to make sure that there was more binding the players together than keeping them apart.
Sketch by Sasha Reneau.
What kinds of characters do we see in Hearts of Magic, and what are they likely to encounter mechanically in the various games?
The three factions of Hearts of Magic are the Lords and Ladies, the fey nobles whose families have controlled The City for generations and who hold their power with the magic of nature, promises, and prophecy; the Order, a bureaucratic empire of scholar-mages who use the might of empire to, supposedly, try and protect the world from the dangers of magic; and the Witches, anarchists trying to free the city from nobility and empire alike and teach Magic to the masses. Each faction has their own set of adjectives to describe the characters with, but aside from the faction description and the adjectives, very little about character creation is dictated by the book – you can explicitly be any kind of person you can imagine, certainly not limited to traditional fantasy archetypes. My favorite character I’ve played as is a noble Lady whose body is a musical instrument of glass, wood, and clockwork, and that’s pretty tame on the scale of what the game allows.
The ten games that make up Hearts of Magic are:
Solitaire (what were you doing? what have we heard about you?),
A Chase (do you have the nerve to pursue?),
A Conversation Over Food (at ease together, or a tense meal?),
A Dance (when the music ends, will I see you again?),
A Free-for-all (why do we fight, and what are the stakes?),
Meeting Sword to Sword (steel meets steel, gaze meets gaze – who will blink?),
An Oblique Discussion (how can I tell you the things I can not say?)
Stealing Time Together (alone, together, with a gentle “may I?”)
Weaving a Spell (how do the two of us make magic greater than either alone?)
A Wizard’s Battle (can you resist the full strength of my powers?)
The games are all played by taking turns choosing prompts, except for Solitaire, which you play by yourself quietly to establish some context for yourself, and A Conversation Over Food and An Oblique Discussion, which give you the choice between choosing a prompt or engaging in actual improvised conversation. A Chase and Meeting Sword To Sword involve coin-flips to determine the outcome, but all the other games let the players decide the outcomes, and even in the fights, your character’s fate is always in your own hands – only you can decide if your character’s life is on the line, or how badly they are hurt by their opponent’s blows.
Hi all! Today I have an interview with Nora Blake on Dust Wardens, which is currently on Kickstarter! It sounds awesome and promotes a lot of values I appreciate, so I hope you like the responses below!
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Tell me a little about Dust Wardens. What excites you about it?
This is a game I’ve been working on in one form or another for almost
two years; it’s technically a hack of a game that doesn’t exist
(anymore). I think the most pressing influence is Vonnegut’s Cat’s
Cradle and the way it talks about bonds between people and places and
things (words like karass, wampeter, and granfalloon do not appear in
this book, but honestly they might as well!). Those themes have stuck
with me for a long time and are really important to me, especially as
someone with almost no ties to, for example, blood family. It’s nice to
think about my connections to the world and which connections are really
mine.
The game focuses a lot on relationships, and this is mechanized in Vows. How do Vows work and what do they mean to the players?
Essentially, Vows are promises; specifically, they should be “I will”
statements that drive you toward action. I’ve seen them end up as
anything from things like “when the time comes I will give you my
moonlight” to “I’ll always hold the pieces together when you feel
broken”. They help to define your relationships through a lens of action
and devotion, which are very important to me. I’m the type of girl to
make big romantic promises with an inside context only the two of us
know.
Polyamory and queerness feature heavily in Dust Wardens. I’d really love to hear more about this! How did you prioritize including it, and how do these elements affect the gameplay?
I talk at length about polyamory and queerness in the text itself,
and how pivotal these things are to it. The world of dust wardens is a
dangerous one, and humanity exists on the fringes of life on the planet.
There is no bastion of “civilization” or state controlling their lives
or coming to save them. On a more somber note this is how it can feel
sometimes to be a queer trans person in the world doing my best to build
my own pockets of community in a wider, more dangerous world. I won’t
call it a metaphor, but it’s an applicable framework.
Why did you elect not to use playbooks, and how does this enrich the game for players of different backgrounds?
To be honest I thought about using playbooks a few times in the
course of development but I never found any that really felt right. I
have no idea how I would sort dust wardens into categories. It’s
something I might revisit someday, but as it stands I like that things
are more freeform. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be able to make
yourself in this game and play the game with someone on a date.
Dust Wardens cover art by Anna Landin.
The choice of using cards as a mechanic is really cool! How do the card mechanics differ from traditional PbtA type mechanics, and how do they better support Dust Wardens as a game?
The tools we use in play have an immense impact on tone and impression. I think about the Quiet Year a lot and how the map is such an integral piece of its tone. Originally this game used playing cards, and had a much stronger Americana theming, but as time went on I began to want something better than America. I’m sure part of that is from thinking about hope a lot more these days. A better tomorrow is out there, even if it’s on the other side of an apocalypse. The world of dust wardens isn’t there yet, but it’s on its way.
I’m very excited to share this big interview with you today! It’s an interview with the San Jenaro Co-Op about their Short Games Digest, Volume 1, which sold over 100 copies on its first day released! They also have a Kickstarter coming out on June 15, 2019 for the Roleplayer’s Guide to Heists! Today you’ll get to hear from Liam Ginty (L.G.), Ken Rountree (KR), Chris Falco (CF), Olivia Hill (OH), Galen Evans (GE), Magnus Hansen (MH), and Dyer Rose (DR)! Hope you like what they have to say!
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Q: Tell me about Short Games Digest and your role on the project! What excites you about it?
L.G.: I’m a writer and one of the mentors heading up the Short Games Digest. SGD is a collection of shortish TTRPGs made by a variety of designers both new and old that serves as our flagship project for getting new writers published in the industry. I really love the collaborative process of the project – everyone chipping in to create something better than any one of us could, I also really enjoy reading everyone’s games – some first time designers have made some really excellent work and it’s been a joy watching some folx grow so fast and so much over the course of the volume. KR: I’m a writer for the first two Short Games Digests. Specifically, I wrote “The Gods Play Dice” for the first volume, and am working on something heavily cat related for the second volume. The SGD is my first time writing for roleplaying at all. I’m excited because I feel we are a group of friends with a common goal rather than a traditional roleplaying company. We don’t just care about the games we make individually, we support each other in making each other’s games. The awesome mentoring and editing teams made the impossible into the achievable.
CF: I’m also a writer for it, and personally, I find the lower barrier of entry combined with the community surrounding it to be the best part. Games can be anywhere from short to long, freeform to mechanics-heavy, and it allows for a diverse number of writing styles and experience levels to go into it.
OH: I write and do some layout work for the Short Games Digest. I’m excited to see so many new names moving from repeatedly saying they want to make a game to being able to say, “I’ve made a game.” It’s really great seeing the diverse approaches the various creators have taken to this project, and all the different ways they’ve creatively answered the completely strange questions posed as part of the design process. It’s also amazing seeing creators excited to build something for the collective benefit, and not just a crapshoot of “will my game be the next D&D?” I like the idea of using the act of building games as a method of building community.
GE: I wrote my first game, “Yesterday’s Tomorrow, Today” for Short Games Digest Vol.1 and served as one of the community editors. The idea of a project of so many cool games and settings and mechanics is very exciting and I am proud I am a part of it, but the most exciting bit is being a part of a co-op with such a diverse and talented membership. Getting to collaborate with this group and work to produce really amazing and ethical work in this space is a joy.
Art from Yesterday’s Tomorrow, Today.
Rad! So what kind of content do we see in Short Games Digest, and how did you work together to make this content happen?
GE: You can expect to find over 10 RPGs, all less than 30 pages, with their own unique systems and settings. Do you want a OSR rogue-like game of brutality? Check out “Clerics”. Do you want a expressive dungeon diving game? “The Great Instrument” should be right up your alley, do you want a action packed fast moving space opera? “Yesterday’s Tomorrow, Today!” is a action packed fast moving space opera. Do you just want a expressive game of courtly romantic queer love? Try out Filamina Young’s “Lonely Knights” and have a blast.
As to how we made it come together, Liam Ginty did a lot of the organizing work, and handed out to everyone a prompt to start writing, we all chatted about concepts together, but started work writing a game, Olivia handed out a design doc to help us prepare our work for layout, and we requested Dyer to make art for our games, During the process, myself, and the rest of the editing team would receive works in progress, add comments and offer tweaks and suggestions. It was a very natural process. In many ways, the game was the baby of whomever was authoring it, with the rest of the co-op acting as support and sounding boards.
MH: One of the wonderful things is the vast array of different content you get in the SGD. I made a weird fantasy dungeon crawler unlike anything i’d made before, and when i needed to fill up another page of space for layout reasons, I got to make a short, 1-page larp for two, as well, a game about lying to your friend – two incredibly different games. And there are so many others, like the game about lonely and very queer knights, or a game about competing for a good position in a new dimension you’ve found yourself in. That said, even though we have a wide variety of games, the strangeness of some themes, and the page constraints do mean the games have a tendency towards the experimental, the new, the interesting. And our community is very inclusive, so there’s quite a bit of Queer content in there as well.
Once I finished a script, people commented on it, and helped me turn my ideas into a cohesive whole, and Galen edited it into readability. Not to mention that Dyer Rose provided the (very pretty!) pictures. It means that even though The Great Instrument is my game, it’s not just the wholly-formed child of my mind. There’s a bit of Galen’s editing style there, there’s Dyer’s visual style, and of course, the creativity of whoever gave me the theme “War In Heaven (Celestial Mecha)”
What’s it like being part of a co-op, and how do you do things like dividing responsibilities and sharing creative loads?
GE: It’s a blast! It is like having a group of friends who are all driving towards the same overall goal. We are still figuring out a lot of things as we go, but as one of the “new blood” in the TTRPG publishing scene, it has been great to have mentors like Olivia, Filamina, Magnus, and Liam. as they offer overall strategies, they give us a free hand to execute what needs to be done. Everyone is very respectful and honest about their capabilities, capacity and needs and it makes for a wonderful collaboration environment.
CF: It’s pretty cool, and gives you a lot of opportunity and ability to get yourself some experience that you might not have managed otherwise. The “prompt” system of the SGD itself means you always have a direction to aim for so you’re not just wondering what your next little game should be. Responsibilities are mostly divided into the organizers and then everyone else; the organizers say what needs to be done, and then everyone else claims what duties they want. It might sound a little unorganized, put that way, but it works out pretty well (and in a given project it might be a little more specific than that).
DR: It’s been a real blessing to get involved with these folx and form this co-op, everyone is supportive, kind and understanding (people first!) and everyone has something to offer. We complement one another’s skills well while helping to improve or teach completely new skills to others with interest.
Responsibilities are all completely voluntary, from beginning to end. Even the process of choosing to take the lead and pitch a project. For instance, let’s say someone comes in and is like “Hey! I got this idea I think is really cool! *explains project* Is anyone interested in getting in on that?” and if there is interest at that point you put a call out for people to sign up, you put together a contract that delineates things like share splitting/remuneration and any other important bits. And the people who want to work on the project sign up as a writer, artist, editor, layout, and whatever else the project might need.
At the moment, creative loads have all seemed to be managed by the people on their end, and how much they volunteer to take on. As an artist, I get a few prompts and when I’m getting my way through those, if there is still time, I’ll reach out for anyone else that needs art. Everyone knows I am but one man and can’t necessarily do art for everyone and that’s okay (again: people first.).
KR: Everyone is supportive and filled with awesome beans! We signed up for specific roles in the beginning and generally stick to them, but people step up when something outside of their expertise pops up all the time. There’s a lot of anxiety involved with a lot of newer people creating games when they maybe hadn’t published anything AT ALL before. I think we all have a good instinct on when to give constructive criticism and when somebody is just looking for some validation. As silly as it might sound to a certain type of human, someone saying, “Hey, you’re doing great. You’re going to create a game and it’s going to be cool af,” is valuable.
OH: It’s really nice because this isn’t a primary gig for any of us, so it’s something easy to step into and step out of as the time and energy arise or fall. If you need to step away for a couple of weeks, you can do that. If you’ve got time on your hands and want to pick up some slack, you can do that. It’s like Marx said, from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs. We’re all individuals with different situations. I’ve been in gaming development projects before where one person’s situation got in the way of the whole project moving forward. With this model, those same hurdles happen, but we’re more open to step in and say, “Hey, can I get that for you?” In the end, it makes for a much, much smoother development.
How does being a part of the co-op positively influence projects like the Digest, and how does it complicate it?
GE: It democratizes the work and makes it far easier to create the hype train. Also it works as an incentive to do work, As a new TTRPG designer, I’m not sure when i would have gotten off of my butt to make my game if it was not for the Digest and the timeline, and even if I had gotten off of my butt and made my game, I still don’t know layout, or how to best market an indie RPG, I would just be yet another person out there with their own system, instead thanks to the help of the co-op I can say that I am a published game designer 🙂 because of the hard work of everyone else, I am able to live my dream, and all it costs me is helping others live theirs. Where it does become complicated is in project management, we have a huge and diverse group of collaborators and there is a bit of a wrangling cats issue, however, because we have so many people it is often easy to distribute needed work to someone else if things fall through.
DR: Positively influencing projects? Man, honestly I have to say how does it not? Okay that’s your second question, and I have one of those, but seriously… It’s just absolutely amazing. You have so many kind and creative people that are all trying to not only succeed, but help you succeed, they are always there if you need a second, third, fourth set of eyes on a project, they are there to fill in gaps and knowledge, and teach you those skills if you want. And they are there to encourage you, having a constant hype train around your lil project, your lil 4 page game or your illustration is such an awesome driving force to keep going. It’s infectious, everyone is so excited, not just for themselves, but everyone else. As for the issues, Galen kinda touched on that above me here, but the main issue I notice is something we are looking into at the moment, where currently are tasks are all kind of spread across some discord rooms and Google Sheets, and it can be a bit chaotic at time. But we haven’t run into any real complications with that, currently have someone designing some work flow stuff on trello, so i expect that chaos to be toned down a lot before we get to a point where its a problem.
KR: When I first started in the Co-Op, I missed the deadline for my game due to life circumstances. I was so used to the normal boss based business model that knots formed in my stomach. I apologized seventy three point five times, and said some very self-deprecating things. But everyone was supportive and understanding. I was so used to people screaming at me over minor things from places I had worked, and here everyone was being super cool and supportive. I worked harder and came out with what I consider a high quality game. If I was working in a traditional model, I may have been fired or worse. But not only did I finish the first game, I’m completing a second as well as a microgame for volume 2.
CF: The Co-op model is honestly perfect for something like the games digest, since it allows so many different people to all just write in their own style without trying to blend everything together. If someone has a problem, it’s easy to say “No big deal, put it in the next volume” and still have plenty of games in it so we don’t need to worry about it. As others already mentioned, everyone’s really friendly and supportive, which helps people get comfortable in writing their games in the first place, too.
What is something in the Digest that you just cannot wait for people to see, whether it’s because of the work you or someone else did or just because it’s cool?
GE: Aside from all of Dyer’s amazing art you mean? It’s really hard to pick just one thing, there are so many cool things packed into this digest and I know there is something in it for everyone, so I guess I will talk about my own game, “Yesterday’s Tomorrow, Today” the thing i am really excited for people to see and try out is the game plotting mechanic I call “That Cosmic Swing” which endeavors to keep action going and keep the pace of game frenetic and fun by removing any delineation between narrative and structured time that many games have. When I run games I often have an issue of getting things moving while wrangling players, and I have come up with hacks and ideas to keep things moving and get the story going and I took those ideas and formalized them as one of the key components of the game, and to be honest, I think its super slick…
DR: Oh man. I honestly have to say, just like every last game in that book. It’s bringing in so many unique voices and design philosophies, so many unique systems that each one is its own unique treasure in its own way. Just seeing the WIPs and Write Ups in discord has left me hungering to get a copy of this into my hands, and I’ve already seen most everything in it!! I will say I think the thing I’m most excited about, to narrow that down abit more, is the number of people in this book that will be able to say for the first time “I have a published game” that’s SO COOL, especially for someone that had NO IDEA they’d be able to have that happen 3 months ago.
KR: Doogans and Dogans. That’s all I’ll say for myself. The Tony Hawk inspired RPG by CF fills me with joy just by it existing.
I love this logo!
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Thank you so much to the San Jenaro Co-Op for the interview! I hope you all enjoyed it and that you’ll check out Short Games Digest Volume 1 today!Watch out for the Roleplayer’s Guide to Heists Kickstarter mid-June!
I have an interview today with L A Wilga and James Lader on the new roleplaying game Sundown, which is currently on Kickstarter! It sounds like a really interesting new game and I’m excited for it. Check out the interview below, and the Kickstarter too!
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Sundown’s cover art by Mayara Sampaio.
Tell me a little about Sundown. What excites you about it?
L A: So, Sundown is a rules light tabletop roleplaying game. It’s set in a pre-industrial frontier where, instead of magic, we have “science.” Science is the intersection of two things. Wonders: inventions that just make everyone’s life easier, and changing: the art of taking someone and reshaping their flesh. In fewer words, engineering and biology
There are two main facets to the game: surviving the wild, with fauna just as changed and dangerous as the folk, and surviving the politics, with a power struggle in every town and a populace that needs you but doesn’t want you.
I certainly get excited to face down giant winged frogs and angry murderbirds, my pink undershave flowing in the wind, but I find catharsis in the politics. You have to navigate finding work, getting paid, finding a place to stay, making friends, and avoiding the authorities as someone disdained by most of society. It’s an experience I think most in our queer rpg community will recognize.
It’s kind of like a cyberpunk game with the punk aesthetic, the politics, and the transhumanism, but if you took away its technology and sent it to the West Marches.
J L: I’m really excited about how much control you have over your body in Sundown. Changes are probably my favorite part of our game, because as a trans man, being able to reshape your body on a whim is the ultimate fantasy. And I’m sure other people think that’s super cool too.
The other thing I’m excited about is intentionally including politics in the premise. Social strife is the lifeblood of this game, where more of the people are monsters than the fiends. I really like that the direction of your career can be toppling the ruling class in Cragsmouth, or becoming a thief-assassin who saves themselves at all costs. You make your way through Sundown by surviving how best you can, and it really mirrors to me how to navigate a world where a lot of the power isn’t yours.
You talk about the Changing. How does Changing work, and are there any special benefits or consequences from it?
L A: This is a good question, because people tend to assume that you just drink a potion and seconds later you have claws or something.
Changes are made by a scientist specialized in changing, and in a laboratory devoted to changing. You get stuffed into an egg-like pod with the changing agents and a medium called lungwater that keeps you alive for the weeks or months your changes take. Breaking down flesh and building it back up takes a lot of time and energy. When you break out of your egg, you’re ravenously hungry, everything is too bright, and you just want to go back to sleep.
Changing agents are derived from plants and animals out in the wild that have already been observed to do… something to people. Indigoji turns your skin purple, for instance. Modern changes were discovered by blending random assortments together and logging the resulting effect on humans, not all of them consenting test subjects.
J L: Changing is arduous. It really does mirror the transition process in the real world, but it’s less limited. It’s expensive to get access to changes. Special equipment and making sure you don’t die in stasis isn’t cheap. The time cost, too, matters. And some changes can stress your body. It’s not a perfect science, and you can end up with additional things that identify you as a changeling, like black nails when you asked for super strength.
We also did name the pods where Changes happen eggs. That’s not a very subtle metaphor I think. If people know you’re a changeling, too, they’ll treat you very different. The best reaction you can expect in most of Sundown is mild disdain, which is very real. So if people know you’re a changeling, that alone is a consequence.
This was labeled frogbeast, which I think is such a fun name!
How do your identities as queer and trans (or queer/trans identities in general) reflect in the broader world beyond the Changing? Do they relate to Wonders, or even to the politics?
L A: We didn’t really use wonders to say anything about queerness or transness, they’re kinda just neat things, like goggles that let you see at night. We definitely do intend, though, for guns to be a symbol of the class war. Did we mention there’s guns? They’re more like railguns than gunpowder guns. They use a fictional material called floatstone.
There is this wonder called pitch, though. It’s a black syrup thing that’s injected, and it knits your body back together after some nasty injuries. The catch, though, is if you use too much, you run the risk of becoming a pitchblood. Basically, your blood is replaced with pitch. You lose twenty years off your life, but you’re near invincible. I think some folk can sympathize with that sort of deal-with-the-devil transformation?
Beau’s Note: This specific one reminds me of my own experiences with lithium as someone with bipolar disorder, to be honest.
L A, continued: The politics is really where our queerness comes through. For one, if you have any sort of visible change, which includes things like colored hair, over half of the people in Sundown won’t really want anything to do with you. Not to mention you’re already othered because of your profession. The isolationists of Sundown really don’t like outsiders doing their work for them. Too bad they need drifters like you for things like translation, bounty hunting, and trailblazing.
J L: Definitely. The otherism experienced in Sundown based on being a drifter is pretty much a direct metaphor for how it feels to be disdained and desired. Very much as a queer person it’s easy to feel consumed and discarded at the earliest opportunity, and since you’re a travelling contractor, it’s even more direct.
I think, honestly, the other parts of the system also show some of the good parts of being queer, too. When you create your character, for example, your character is rooted in the people at your table. One of the traits that embodies who you are is defined by your relationship to another character at the table. Drifters often are building an intentional community, a network of people who know where the good work is, who you should work with on what jobs, where it’s safe to travel, and sharing stories of your best exploits. I think that really reflects how queer and trans folx band together to keep each other safe and loved in a world that is otherwise hostile to them.
James Lader.
How are things like changing and wonders, and those politics you discuss, mechanized or formalized in the game?
J L: So all of these things involve infamy, which is the currency we use in Sundown. Infamy isn’t coin, though, it’s a representation of your influence in the area, and how well people know you. The more infamy you have garnered, the more leverage you have. Political action that earns infamy takes place during heats, the jobs drifters take on every month. You might slay fiends, debate a public official, steal from a guild, or lead an uprising.
Getting wonders and changes requires you to spend your infamy to obtain them. Some wonders are special and rare enough to use your downtime between heats as well as your infamy to obtain them. Changes always take downtime, and usually cost infamy.
One of the neat things about infamy is that you only have so much influence you can gain, and once you use that leverage, it’s gone. You have to think carefully about what you want to achieve and use that influence wisely.
L A: Ok so James mentioned heats. That’s basically an adventure, and downtime is the time between them. We intend for downtime to be played kind of like play-by-post between sessions
When you make improvements to your character that involve big investments of time, like learning a new skill or rebuilding your fleshy prison, you do that during your downtime. Spending your infamy on changes is just one of the things you can spend your downtime on.
J L:Downtime is when most of your character improvements can happen, so you have to choose really carefully what you want to spend your time on between jobs. Sundown is a hard place to be and choosing to better your traits or gain cat ears can be life or death. It’s really tricky because you can also only get so many things before not having any more infamy to gain.
What have you done with the game to support players in exploring these relatively serious subjects, including consent and safety mechanics and other aspects of your design?
J L: One of the first sections of the book is a consent tool we developed based on our stress mechanic. Stress is sort of a measure of your character’s health, and it worked really well to measure how safe a topic was for the players.
We also reinforce throughout the book to be mindful of others at the table, to use additional safety and consent tools you might be more familiar with, and to check in with your fellow players.
These are really hard topics and not everyone wants certain themes in the game, and we went out of our way to remind people to check in, and check often.
L A: Regarding serious subjects, I wrote from my own experience as a poor queer person, and I think the queerphobia and classism and Sundown really reflect that
For the experiences I haven’t lived, we took on two non-white sensitivity editors. Their input was invaluable for fleshing out the cultures that have made their way to Sundown in a respectful manner.
Even though I’m disabled too, James has far more lived experience in that regard. The section on disabled drifters in the intro section is entirely his doing.
Every time there’s a “make sure you check in with your fellow players” regarding a marginalized identity, all four of us had a hand in it.
We recently posted an update about Turn’s progress, and it’s going pretty well! We may soon be closing pre-orders (which are still open here!) if all goes well with layout, and we are pushing on thru with the
stretch goals. I wanted to talk a little about Turn in playtesting, and a
big thing that happened recently in our longest-run playtest.
Just a picture of a cat to start us off right.
Some people may have heard me talk on Twitter about my character Beau Taggart, who is a professional hunter, the game’s Late Bloomer, a Cougar, and super gay. In his early character background during character generation, we established that Beau had turned for the first time only recently, about six months ago (as required for the Late Bloomer role). When he turned for the first time, he his truck had just been hit by a drunk driver while he was driving down a winding back road.
He got out of the car to check on the driver, but the driver was behaving aggressively, and tried to punch him. Beau knew something felt wrong, but he was scared and panicked, and responded by hitting the guy back. He didn’t know that his body had started to turn, that his super strength had grown. The hit was so hard it broke the guy’s neck, and while Beau was realizing with horror he’d killed a man, he also turned into a cougar for the first time.
This gif is not an accurate representation of Beau. It’s just funny!
His animal instincts kicked in – he hid the body, and ate some of it, leaving his claw and teeth marks on it, desperately hungry in light of the force turn. In his panic, he was found by Camellia, a fellow shapeshifter (Overachiever, Bison) who helped him get back to human form, and over time, he learned better how to calm down. He didn’t tell Camellia, or anyone else, about the drunk driver, harboring his accidental crime as yet another secret.
Not many Turn characters have super tragic backstories, and this one isn’t even all that bad (sometimes people accidentally kill people, and those are small town secrets I’ve heard), but I knew there was a risk of it being an element when people played so I built a character with a high risk background to see how fast we could ramp up to exposure. It still took over a year at our slow playing pace – which is ideal. If we were playing weekly, it would happen more quickly, but it paces out well.
How did I plan this out? Well, I knew the number of exposure marks for towns and town characters, I knew the average number of scenes per session (5-8), how many of those typically risk exposure (4-7), and how many sessions each character is generally in (3-6). I knew that having a higher risk background meant that I would end up on the higher range of everything, and that Beau was starting with a generally positive reputation as a Late Bloomer.
That doesn’t mean I was ready for the exposure to hit max!
Turn has ten marks on the exposure track for the town. You can get positive or negative marks, based on the type of interaction that causes them. You take the marks when you’ve done something that might cause someone to suspect your shifter identity – it can be behavioral, it can be physical, etc. Something like slipping up and saying you spent all night in the woods, or maybe your eyes shine oddly in a photograph.
Beau’s track grew and grew over time, including his town character (TC) tracks, which are separate. One TC of his was Diego, his best friend who knew everything but this secret. Early on in the campaign, I played Beau to slowly reveal his identity as a shifter to Diego, purposefully planning positive encounters. He managed to do so successfully, which was good, because Beau was truly in love with Diego. They later became partners, but it was still pretty quiet, because the town was relatively conservative in that regard. Their own professional hunter in love with his buddy? Beau wasn’t sure they could handle it.
There are three results you can get when you become fully exposed to a TC or the town itself: reviled, which is the lowest result, and results either in a toxic and risky relationship with the TC or you getting run out of town or dealing with violence; revealed, which is the middling result and means you may risk comforts, safety, or gossip but you’ll be able to stay in town; and known, which is the best result, and means you’re accepted in the town or by the TC.
With Diego, Beau got known, so he was able to get together with Diego, stay friends and more, and not have any risk increased from it. Over time Beau had some more positive and some more negative interactions with people in the town, just like you do – simple things that cause conflict last longer in people’s minds than we thing. It was pretty balanced. But, rumors arose when a body was found in the woods that it turned out matched the drunk driver, whose car was found, too.
This combined with Beau acting out of sorts because he found out who his birth mother was and it led to a spectacular new ability – the ability to turn into a Raven, as well! These events combined led to an exposure roll, which is 2d6 plus the exposure track, added up based on the +’s and -‘s on the track, and a + for any known TCs. I rolled poorly, but had enough based on the roll, the track, and Diego, I got the middling result – revealed. That meant no immediate danger, but it meant time had come to face facts.
The rumors spread faster than Beau could do anything for, and before he could even come clean to his closest friends (Camellia and Iris, his cousin and coworker), the cops were at Camellia’s door looking for Beau. He managed to tell Diego what happened, and Diego supported him, but he was going to have to deal with the police at some point. He decided to turn himself in. Meanwhile, on the in-fiction Facebook, his fellow townspeople were spreading memes of the Cougar Killer, claiming he’d murdered the man and mutilated the bodies. This is something that would eventually die out without the police arresting him, but in the moment it was challenging!
A little bit of coordination led to him having enough time to sneak past the deputy posted at Camellia’s (where his truck was*) to tell Camellia and Iris what was going on, then turn himself in with some legal support obtained by Camellia. He confessed to fighting with the guy, but stopped short of admitting to murder. The cops didn’t have enough evidence to keep him. In the end, Beau will still live in Cauldron Springs, unable to leave easily because of the ties that hold him there, and hopefully happy with Diego (because that cat’s outta the bag).
This cat, specifically. a Cougar, by Cecilia Ferri
But, once you’re brought in for something this serious, it’s hard for people to drop their suspicions. Combining it with Beau becoming obviously out as queer since Diego went with him to the police station, Beau’s once stellar social standing is pretty decreased. He’ll be able to survive, but he’s not who he once was to these townspeople – many of them will go on believing he actually murdered someone, others will simply struggle with his identity especially when tied with the stigma of being questioned for murder.
So basically it all worked out? Like this is exactly how this sort of result should be narratively. Maybe some people might choose to have the shifter identity be the forefront and have it be more fantastical, some people might want to diminish the fantasy even further, and either is okay – just keeping in mind that people rarely want to believe the most fantastical things, even though they’ll often use fantastical things as metaphor or illusion for the reality.
The pacing for the exposure to max out worked perfectly, the narrative surrounding it hit all the right notes, and all I did was start with some trouble baked in, like so many characters do. It meant a lot to me to play this character** and have it play out so true to what I designed. The game works, it works really good, and it tells the stories I want to be told.
I can’t ask for more, honestly.
I’m curious, what have you worked on in games that you played out in playtesting or just when you released the game that made you have that, like, damn, I did it! moment? A moment with the math lining up just right, or the narrative tone hitting the right button? Share it in the comments, and please share this on social media to talk about those moments of design success!
*Beau constantly forgot his truck at Camellia’s, where he often went to have tea to calm down and to hang out, then turned into a cougar to hit the woods. It actually became a feature on the map! Oops.
**Who some might have guessed was a test run for my chosen name
